Your Action and it's good impact on your life..

Hi there Passionate, let me start by saying that you are in a good place. That does not mean everything is alright for ever. It is good that you want to do progressive things and you have an idea of what to do.

Then, how do you start doing them?? First, sincerely ask yourself, if you really want to do the stuff you wrote here. Are all these here because you really want to do/be them, or are these things are the things with which you will look good to others?

Be genuine to yourself, don't fake and deceive yourself. Because if you are trying to do things to impress others, then take my word – You would never start on these things.

BUT If you really.. really want to do these things, for yourself, then you will do them. You don’t have to start doing all of them today. You will slowly take a project at a time or have a plan to do a few of them simultaneously and just work on them.
I don’t know how much you have already started, but here are a few rules that I followed during my ordeals for a change in my life. These are small things but they worked for me. They may or may not work for you. So take it/try it or leave them.

• WAKE UP EVERY DAY AT THE SAME TIME AND HAVE A MORNING ROUTINE. It doesn’t matter if it is a working day/holiday/storm/hurricane/morning after late night party or even a TV-movie. It doesn’t matter. Wake up ..say 6AM everyday. Take shower immediately after waking up, that way you will be pushed into the routine. Since you mentioned ‘relationship with God’, make it a point to light a lamp and meditate 10 min in front of GOD. At the end of those 10 minutes, you can make a mental plan of what you will be doing that day.

• Try to drink warm water+honey+lemon (Not coffee/milk etc – I am adding your diet suggestions, since you mentioned ‘Carbs’ and ‘skin problems’ etc.). Eat a healthy breakfast with Orange Juice etc and Take Vitamins.

• If time permits, try brisk walking/skipping/dancing etc for just 10 min. Otherwise, just get on ahead taking care of the family. Since you are concerned that you are not cooking and cleaning etc, try to make a simple breakfast for the family (along with their lunches etc). This way you will start feeling good about taking care of your family.

• Try to dress up and take care of yourself (like always carrying sun screen/moisturizer in the purse, painting your nails regularly, maintaining good hair, and good dresses/shoes etc), removing the makeup, putting moisturizer, flossing at night. You will see tremendous difference in how you feel.

• Be on Time to work, even if you have any work or not. Put the TV remote away. Plug the computer off. Don’t spend time in TV room at all. Just get out of the house as soon as possible.

• You can pack a GMAT book or your professional development book, along with your lunch and work on them when ever you get time at work. Continue your walks and interaction with your colleagues because colleagues can be a good source of inspiration in professional development. Allocate an hour or two every day for your GMAT/Professional preparation. Don’t just blindly go about studying GMAT books or others. Set a date of when you want to take the test and form a plan. Then you will be able to be study on your studying.

• If your friends don’t call you, you make it a point to call all of them and chat for 10 min once a few weeks. This way, you will be in touch and will be able to pull yourself back to your college days when you did your engineering and masters etc. Same with your relatives. Keep in touch with everyone will give you confidence and new perspectives.

• Continue what you do with your daughter. But keep doing your stuff too, since your daughter will learn a lot seeing you work on your stuff. This way, you are helping your daughter’s future and helping yourself too.

• You mentioned you are the ‘official’ president of your husband’s company. Then you have to participate in it. Don’t loose heart saying that you are not into IT. You have all the brains and tools to run a company. Discuss with your husband and ask him how you can help. Make a plan. Work with him. You will feel much.. much better doing this one, I bet you.

• Have a plan of how to do household things…like clearing stuff and light cleaning of the house in the mornings, Loading the Dishwasher before going to bed (make this your religion and you’ll be less stressed in the morning – if you are like me), Unloading the dish washer in the morning, Laundry on a particular day (I choose weekdays. That way I’ll have more time for other things on weekends), Folding the clothes the next day etc etc. Routine – Always Helps!

• You mentioned hobbies. Then why not carry a camera in the purse! Why not have the sewing equipment on a work table in the house. A trip to a fabric store is all that is stopping you. Take blogs by the horns. Why not allocate 15 min every evening for that. I am saying it again, ABANDON TV. If you need to listen – then adopt a Radio (or an IPod). That is the best thing I did for myself.

• Now the cooking and the food! My sis in US and many others I know, cook once in a three days and get bored eating the same. If you really want to make dinners interesting..PLAN. Keep Cook books and online recipes handy. Plan what you want to make ahead, for the whole week. Get only those ingredients and veggies from stores and make them according to the plan. I cook every alternate day and I make one good dish (all new, special etc) and one regular (dal etc). Don’t indulge in rice. Convert to the ‘roti’ gang. Rotis can be store bought or home made (it is easier than you think. All you need is to prepare dough for a couple of days and make rotis in less then 10 min!). If you need to have some rice, cook as less as possible and eat very less rice and a roti etc. Be patient. You will get there.

• Check your weight, keep a dairy, measure yourself and keep a record. Try this new life style and re measure yourself once in 3 weeks. You will be amazed. And oh..yes..WATER! Never be without drinking water for more than 30 min (I’ve a bottle in my purse). And every time you drink, drink a big glassful.

• You talked about home decor and parties. I agree with what some others said here. If they are worth inviting, they will not mind how your home looks. So, don’t take stress, just make it easy on yourself. Keep a simple menu and start inviting friends. It is fun to have company. If you want to decorate cheap, get some house plants or do some gardening. It is cheap, but makes the whole place look elegant.

• When you are into a habit of doing all the stuff above and you are set, then you should definitely think about your entrepreneurial ideas, writing those books (join a speaking and writer’s club if you can find one. It will help you a lot in writing).

So dear, have fun changing your life. Take that step today. It is easier than you think. But you have to be consistent doing these things. So consistent, that these become your innate habits..day in and day out. And don't forget that wonderful husband of yours. You say, he is already supportive. If you can give enough attention to him (food, bed and much more..), he can be the very person to push you through your ordeal.

You wanted a story – I’ll tell you the story of my friend’s parents. Mom- high school passed, Dad – a professional with bachelors. Mom took care of home, husband, her in-laws and her 2 kids till they came to high school. She took up her bachelors then and now has 2 master’s degrees and is a professor in college. She didn’t need to do all that, but she WANTED to. Same with the dad, he took up masters and finished it. She is around 55 and he is 60. Was there a need..? No…but there was the ‘want’- A want to change their lives.

So, DO YOU NEED IT OR DO YOU WANT IT?



Good Luck.

 

I think there are lots of people who go through these phases. I have faced them myself. I face them all the time. From experience, I have found out that it is best to sleep over these matters. When I feel lazy or like a good for nothing, I simply do whatever I find most attractive at the moment. It could be listening to music, reading a book I had been meaning to read but it was lying around collecting dust. And then the phase is over on its own and I find myself working with great enthusiasm.

Of course, I am an old man, so my views on the subject do not matter perhaps. Yet, in a way, they do. Because when I get into the mood for work, I keep working without break for 18 hours at a stretch, 7 days a week. I was this way when I was 27, I am this way at 67 too. Retirement from service has increased my activities several fold.

Hope this helps.

 

Dear Adhrusya,

Your reply to the OP was simply amazing.

You write lucidly about dealing with the situation she finds herself in. Step by step and patiently you have explained how she can crawl out of her depression and lethargy.

Wish I had known you when I was younger and lost. I would have been running a firm or managing a company now I guess?! But then, who says I cannot make it even now??:bonk:biglaugh Where there is a will, there is a way!
Only, to find that will, we need Adhrusyas!
Congrats to you, your post has been nominated for the FP of the month.

L, Kamla

 

Dear Passionate one,

I think you have it in you! You are going to make that big decision and will join the major league. I have no doubt about it.
See, we have many members here and their id name tells a little about them. You have called yourself passionate and where the passion is alive and kicking, there is not going to be any setbacks. Looks like you fell into a low phase and there was some sort of lull in your energy level. But by posting here, you have tried to break your own shackles.
Also, thanks to responses like the one from Adhrusya, the necessary energy fluids has been pumped in and I see you flying here on! Congrats, I am envious of you.:thumbsup

L, Kamla

 

My dear Adhrusya,
You have writen so well,infact you have voiced the anguish felt by so many women.Their anguish is,"When so and so can do much, I have not been able to do anything with all the facilities that I have."Well I was like that once upon a time,long long ago when I was younger.I felt a void in my life,my children started going to full time school and time was plenty.So I did B.Ed.My husband was a tremendous support to me.I took up teaching,but lost interest in teaching after sometime.I stopped working as a teacher.Why am I writing this?I feel that you should take up those activities that interest you.You should not do anything forcing yourself.
Now I have started writing,this is something I love,I feel good writing I enjoy posting threads and feel exhilarated getting replies.Am I doing something extrardinary?no not at all,but this activity relaxes me,thats all.
My dear Adhrusya,in the programme that you have chartered out for women to lead fulfilling lives,is there place for relaxing,be yourself?

You have mentioned that you want to buy good furniture because you want to invite friends home,right?Your bubbly nature,warmth and friendly laughtr are all that your guests will look for and will be more and more attracted by you .(if I have written anything out of the subject matter that you have dicussed,pardn me)

Finally,my DH is taking care of me and the kitchen.He is very disciplined very organised and has started cooking very well.He makes weekly menu card,these are the items that he will be making and checks the kitchen shelves once in a while to buy those things that the kitchen is falling short of.But he says,he would cook only when he enjoys the activity,when a situation arises when he has to cook because there is no other go,we will shift in with our daughter.That is, the activity that you take up should be one that you like.When you do the things that you have drawn for yourself without giving yourself time to relax and be your nomal self,you may become very tense.

lots of love
mithila

 

Hi PassionateOne,

I am more or less in the same position as you.. but we have start moving so that angels can start blessing , Our friendly ILites have poured so much support and advise for you/us to make things happening. Lets work it out ! :thumbsup