In-laws - North vs South

Wow CanWait, there is so much to this ego thing! It is very complex! Thanks for your detailed answer.

Actually I really like the SI community and more somber living. With my gujju inlaws it is a lot about flashy clothes and looks like you said. In my inlaws family, they will not walk out of the house unless there are full gold bangles on each arm, big diamond nose pin, diamond mangalsutra, regular gold chain, two earrings in each ear, full toe rings, 2-3 rings on each hand.... my mil is like a walking jewellery shop. However my fil is really simple and so is my dh. Guess it's just the women in the family who take it over the top. :rotfl

 

Iam a NI and havent got a chance to see a SI joint family so i cant say how MILs,DILs are but one thing for sure is that SI are very much inclined towards good education and my dad believes they are more trustworthy.He was always more comfortable in renting our house to SI familes.

 

Hi Asuitablegirl

I always read your posts with great interest in this forum. Early your profile was Rani and now Priyanka.

Sorry to deviate from the main thread.

Asuitablegirl, I really wish to see you and your decked up MiL.... why dont you post the pics ?

BR
Shanti

 

Hahaha Shanti, I don't "deck up". I dress nice, but I like simple clothes and jewellery (even for my wedding I was like that). The 20 pound sequined gargara choli with mounds of jewellery is just not my style. And actually come to think of it, I don't think I have any pictures of me and mil together (you might have heard, she doesn't like me ). However, she did like my car, so there are tons of pictures of her next to my toyota. Some mil's show family photos when they go back to India, well my mil shows car pictures.... :biglaugh

In fact a long while back my mil had sent me some flamboyant gargara cholis (i.e. trying to make my dh relive his rajasthan experience) and my dh was annoyed about it and asked her directly why she is purposely sending rajasthani stuff. Well about two weeks ago he gathered all the clothes his mom had sent me and donated them to Salvation Army. Now the only Indian clothes hanging in my closet is my wedding saree. My SIMPLE wedding saree. Luv it! :thumbsup

I do have a fancy snap of my mil (a loving memento she gave me of her partying at my dh's FIRST wedding), but you know I can't post that because then she'd know who ASG is if she ever happened upon this site! :hide:

 

you know ASG, your MIL is really a piece of work.. her antics are just hilarious at times.. her Rajasthani obession is amusing to say the least.. :biglaugh

 

It is. But lately I've done some wondering, and I'm having second thoughts on her behavior. Her behavior, while extremely mean and weird, is just too over the top to come from a normal sane person... so I've been thinking she might have a mental problem. I was even thinking of opening a thread to ask what are signs of a mental illness because I don't know that much about mental illness or what are the signs. Just a thought.

 

Hi girl this is a nice thread to view our personal comment,-----why the divide,--we are genetically different, from food culture, look etc.
The north more influenced by the arabians, and english--and are more business minded---and follow their culture more, they are caucasian,----and have a contrasting lifestyle, of too traditional, or too modern, village is where ni are,---see their life, so traditional--so much rift and rife or gentle and loving--it depends.
Si mil are are more traditional, and dravidian,more short tempered, ----love their girl children more than boys, at heart. Ni love their sons more----dil are united with the mil family, but si hardy ever unite they usually try to live with their daughters and help them--if necessary with help from sons, the dil---call her aunty--that itself differentiate---ni call them maji--love is more.
Si family are more maternal dominated nowadays,and the dil never accept their mil as a mother but as as in--law.
I find more love and acceptance in ni families more,because as a rule they have become one with the il's family.
Whereas si are more attached to mother's family as there is no such rule, that she is completely, becomes,only the married family, she moves both ways.

 

It is all depends upon the relationship between MIL and DIL. There is no difference between NI and SI. I live in US and worked with Americans, Chinese and other nationalities. Everywhere, the same problem. Sp don't blame only Indian MIls.

Regarding the look, SI MILs also want a FAIR looking bride for their sons. The color is very important for most of the societies. My MIL was beautiful, well educated and upper class family than mine. My marriage was not arranged one. But she made my life so good. She never put down. She was Tamilian lived in North. She used to be proud of herself but always nice to me. I miss her. She indirectly trained me to be a better person. So I am waiting to be a good MIL form my future DILs

Peace Be with you.:coffee

 

Irrelevant to this topic but the Aryan Dravidian theory has been indicated as false - India has existed long, long enough for the natives to intermingle and create just the Indian "gene" pool. It was fabricated into what it is today by the British who used it divde India based on language.. but genetically we are all the same..

nothing riles up people more than that.. :my2cents