ILs are trying to change my 15 months old habits

Nidhi - how long will your ILs be staying? If its a matter of a week or two I would just let it go and turn a deaf ear to their advice. If its longer then perhaps its time to sit down and talk to them about how you would like to do things a bit differently from them. Get your DH to back you up or better still get him to initiate the conversation. Also where it concerns health issues (like the water/stomach pain thing which you know is nonsense) its easiest to lay the blame on the doc and say that your doc asked you to do such and such. Its pretty common for ILs to advise on the minutaiae of child-rearing; its up to us to take or quietly ignore the advice.

Vanathi.

 

what they say could be right in some way but not at this age.. you say your DD will not eat if she is not giving water, so if you give water in between, she will mostly finish her meal so thats what you should be doing.. do not change it just so others think it is right. each child is different and we should take cue from the child and not force things/ habits on them. also a child's (at just 15 months) wake up time cannot be set like an alarm clock.. she is not sleeping until midday.. it is hardly 1 hour beyond what the elders think is right.. they have to let go of it.. but if they are only saying and not literally forcing the kid, then let them go on and you do what you think is good for your child. take it easy on the child. but it they are forcing it on the kid, then its time your DH and you talk abt it.. maybe pulling the name of the doctor will help to an extent. I am not sure how well you can put this forward to your in-laws.. other Ilites will come forward with better ideas of talking it over..

I just wanted to tell you NO, this is not how all in-laws will react.. and you should interfere if the child's pattern is being changed that is inturn making the child uncomfortable.

 

Hi Nidhi

I will agree with Adhusmom here. If it is just a matter of days, just leave it. Else, your DH can talk about it and you can join in. Just be polite in the conversation and more importantly never take this to other household issues.
I live in a big family with each one having different views about sleeping/feeding etc. In some cases, I politely refuse and make it a point that I am THE MOTHER. In some cases where it is not veyr important, I give up. Also, make them realise that not eating is a greater problem than eating with water. For Eg., in my case ILs wanted my kid to sleep late so that they can play with her. But when she missed her sleep time, she was cranky all night. So, I politely pick her up, ask her to say good night and go into our room.
As AD said more than what is right or wrong, it is what the kid is comfortable with at this age.

 

Dear friends,
My son is 16month old. He is very nice and smart. When he gets wild, he starts screaming or rolls on the floor or he hurts himself and cries. My In laws says that I should not be cultivating that habits. Some time he gets beating from me for this. ( I dont want to continue ).

Anyone faced these kind of problems? How do you stopped this habit?

Pls help

 

Sudha,

Your son is being a toddler. And yes, we should not let them get away when they throw a tantrum - it will teach them that they can get anything they want. Regarding how to manage tantrums and resolve them, here is a nice thread - http://www.indusladies.com/forums/t...-toddler-preschooler-tantrums-especially.html This thread explains how we can manage our kid's tantrums without resorting to hitting them or screaming at them. The moms have given excellent tips and I have been following them for my daughter (13 months old) and we are much better with the tantrums.

If the "wildness" is just jumping around, running around without control, then maybe your son needs to let out all that energy. I know there is a thread that gives tips on how to channel this excess energy. Unable to get that now. If that is the case, make time for him to play outside, and indulge in safe outdoor games that will help him spend the energy.

With respect to hitting kids, I admit it happens to the best of us. But it is not the solution to a problem. I agree it seems to work but talking it out with them and reasoning it will work better for us and our kids in the long run. I know I struggle to do this, and not resort to spanking the poor kid. Hugs, mommy! Kids do understand when we tell them things. There is this other thread by Rama (teacher) - http://www.indusladies.com/forums/s...87809-mental-health-awareness-in-schools.html Though the title might seem different, Rama puts forth some very interesting arguments that help us understand our kids' behaviour. This in turn helps us manage them better - so no spanking.

I have benefited from these threads, so hope you will too.

 

Nidhi, I would suggest you doing what you do and they doing what they would like to do when they are taking care of your LO. i.e. at lunch you can let them decide how they feed your lo, chances are that she wont like it and make her unhappiness clear. at breakfast and dinner you do what you are comfortable with.
IMO, it is just not worth the trouble to take them up on this issue. Just let them know that behaviour change does not come overnight, but excellent suggestion so you will try to implement it over a time period. Try to wake her up earlier by 5 minutes every other day or three days, so that she will be eased into a behaviour that you also seem to think is healthy.
About water with meals, I kind of believe in trying to limit it to sips, not avoid it totally. It does make me feel fuller when I have had a drink of water or so with my meals, so I am guessing it will fill up the LO's stomach too.