What a situation I am in?

Seema,

He understands your problem but still he want you to convert to convince his parents. If you convert to his religion, next demand will come - practicing his religion. It is too hard to take up a new religion.

I think you both should live separately from your in-laws to avoid further interferences.

My best friend [she is hindu] married a Christian man. She was asked to convert to his religion since marriage has to be in church for which both bride and groom should be Christians. She converted for namesake but she is not practicing his religion. They are married for 2years and living happily. Converting will be fine but practicing the religion is different.

Think about it and take a wise decision. Do not think about separation just because of religion. You still have beautiful days to live!!!

 

Is this true? Tridev?
Really scary if it is. What nonsense is this? Can you please send any link if you have with you?
Whatever it is, it is sheer stupidity. What is happening? Why are people bent on spoiling innocent lives?

Like spiderman even I strongly criticised '12adityas' in that earlier thread and I am now SHOCKED to read this. I hope it is not true.

 

Kerala HC wants probe into 'love jihad'

http://www.atimes.com/atimes/South_Asia/KJ28Df05.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...en-accused-of-waging-love-jihad-in-India.html

 

Its quite scary isnt it??? but these people who are in the so called LOVE do they agree to it??? I dont think so...

They still beleive the boy loves them sooo much and he cant do anything as his parents are forcing him:hide:

 

Thanks Tridev for the links.

Government should curb this here and not let innocent lives be ruined. Laws should be stringent on such matters.

Losers!!! Who use something as pure as LOVE for their ulterior motives!!

It has become hard to even trust someone who has true love in him/her. How can one feel safe when they are in love with someone from the other religion?
So, does that mean to keep away from people from different religions?
They say 'love is blind'.
Why should these girls be punished like this, just because they loved someone?
Where is the solution to all this?

 

Dear Seema,
Hugs and love to you girl.Mysuggestion: Stick to your original plan and do not convert under any circumstances.

He may be getting pressurised but I am sure he is a very brave man (to go against them in the first place) and he can face his parents.He will take care of it.You don't worry about that.

To Sharmilee: Its hard to bring child up in 2 religions so I think both can convert to Buddhism or her DH can convert to Hinduism.

To Tridev: I know what you are saying is true.When I was a divorcee....at least 15 ppl approached me to get married through internet or otherwise.They think its easy if girls are desperate.

Religion has caused war and communal riots.According to me its best if everyone follows their own religion and don't bother others.

FL

 

Dear Seema,

My hugs and love to you girl. I too had an inter religious marriage. I am Christian, whereas my DH is Hindu. There are something that you really need to think before you enter into a relationship with a person who is NOT from your religion.

You cannot judge someone's devoutness based on their physical apprarences or social behaviour. I am someone who doesn't go to church everyday, doesn't walk with bible and rosary in hand, doesn't talk about gospel and religious stuff all the time... Sometime, my aunts say I am not religious as I never relate religion into my personal life... But indeed I am overly religious than everyone at my home.. For me, religion is my life.
I look so modern, I even go to Hindu temples, Budhist temples with my friends, and celebrate their festivels happily.. It doesn't make me any less of my devoutness on Christianity.

So comming to your case, just because you THINK, religion is a very small matter in your life, doesn't mean everyone has to follow the same philosophy.
Also, just because your husband looks modern, and talks broad minded, doesn't mean he is not religious.

It is very bad that your DH has changed his words after marriage.... But, infact I don't relly on words/promisses, because people tend to forget their promisses when they are in trouble. All what matter is your LOVE.

You can't keep on challenging that he has changed his words.. It will eventually irritate him. He knows that he is breaking his promisses, so no need to remind this to him all the time.

Tell him that you are not comfortable in converting to any religion. But you can show more interest towards his religion and help him practice his religion in a proper way.
I mean celebrating his festivels together with him, participating in his spritual things, learning his religion, and adjusting your schedules as per his religious needs Eg.. During Ramadan fasting period, you can help him to observe his fasting by preparing foods as per his timings ( i mean, you need to prepare food so early in the morning... more adjustments etc...etc...)

Also remind him that there is no point in converting to his religion just for the name sake only. If you convert yourself to Islam and continue to practice Hindusm, then it is no less than a cheating.. Cheating the God.

One should convert the religion with their whole heart and mind, not by forcibly. So ask him to wait until you feel OK to practice and convert to his religion whole heartedly. It may happen, may not happen, but this is what the agreement between you guys before marriage. So, he can not force you.

Don't be emotional.. Don't fight, don't argue over this matter...

Come a step down, and make him comfortable by ensuring that you will make a real MUSLIM WIFE to your husband by all the possible ways. It includes respecting his religion, allowing him to practice his religion and festivels without any hinderence, raising children as per his wishes, learning and observing his religious rituals together with him, and making him comfortable at his home with his religious matters. But it doesn't mean you should convert your religion for the name sake. Ask him to wait until you feel comfortable to accept his request.

It should be easy, as you are not overly religious and do not want to practice yours at home (i guess). And your DH seems loving and understanding... It might be because of the ILs pressure...

Do not let your ILs play a game in your life.

 

dear Mithy
My dh is a christian and I'm an hindu. We had a church wedding.I didn't have to convert. I'm still a practising hindu.

As per the christian marriage law, it requires that only one person has to be a christian.The non christian is not required to convert, instead you will just have to meet the priest and sign a form stating that you will allow your spouse to continue practising christianity and you will bring up your children as christians.

I had seen your post in a similar thread where you mentioned that you will have to convert to christianity to marry your fiance in the church. I jus thought I shud let you know this.

good luck
vani

 

He was all open-minded 6 months to a year back and now all of a sudden shuts down his brain completely!!! Nonsense!!

In the first place, he never was open minded as OP thinks. That was all talk then which is very easy for anyone to do but when it comes to stick to it, he doesn't want to do it and suddenly remembers his mama and papa........ridiculous!!!
What do such guys achieve in their life.......they spend whole of their lives pleasing religion at the cost of breaking their loved one's heart??....someone save them please!!
It was all to get married to this innocent girl and then later show his true self!!......:rant

OP; Stick to what you believe in.......your original decision. Today, he backs off here, tomorrow he can bring up something else and then later you can be caged in the house forcibly forever. Never know!!
Why not nip it now in the bud? Either he gives up his foolish demand to live with you or walks away.