Friend's newly wed wife has a lover......

Dear Shyam

I would like to put light on the following. First of all Supreme Court of India(couldn't find the link, it appeared in newspaper)/bombay high court has given a historical judgement recently concerning NRI couples (see this link). therefore the Divorce is US courts is completely admissible.

Secondly, I would like to clarify the point raised by drjp, regarding getting divorce on the basis of adultery. In US courts it might be possible to get divorce on the basis of adultery within a week, but not in Indian courts.Adultery is extremely difficult to prove in either cases, so till it is substantiated by proof by either man/woman, it is not taken n its face value.

It has been observed that in majority of the cases when the things go sour between husband and wife and the divorce is filed by husband (this is the statistical data), the first allegation is the wife being adulterous. So, courts insist on a concrete proof.

Rest, I will not judge the girl ( I have practically seen many of the cases involving the girl students, where parents use all tactics to marry off the girls forcibly inspite of knowing the facts that she is interested in someone else), she has taken a decision and will be responsible for her own actions, good or bad but will just say that you friend is gem of a person

Wishing you and your friend all the very best

Regards
Ansh


P.S Authentic site for seeking legal services
another one

 

Items that might be helpful to discuss with the attorney:

Legal separation is a legal vehicle so that one party is financially separated from the other. This is very helpful in all situations but especially in community property states where the one spouse is legally responsible for the actions of the other no matter if they are "together" or any state until divorced.

If the marriage was not consummated, this is an easy grounds for annulment. I mention as some might be too embarrassed to mention.

Each state in USA has different divorce laws and time lines. Lots of desperate Americans for decades have gotten divorces in Las Vegas which has a six weeks wait. One party needs to be a resident in order to do this so she could go there and take a room for the six weeks...that might be a cheaper option than some others. Ask the lawyer if this option would be adequate legally.

My opinion: don't consult the parents as they are the root of this mess. Also if she is too comfortable, maybe she will opt back so I would suggest just doing the minimum in order that she feels some urgency to leave.

 

Shyam,

I suggest not get the guy divorced.. The girl seems to be too immatured and spineless.. Why dont you people try telling her the devastating consequences if she goes back to India.. Her family is still the same and their stand will be much harsher after they learn that their daughter has eloped after marriage..

Right now, as Tridev and others suggested, get everything recorded, documents, notarised signatures, Return the dowry.. But put a stop on divorce or annulment of marriage.. Dont go ahead with that step..

Call up her parents and inform them of the entire situation.. Let your friend (Husband) escort her to India and leave her at her parents home..Then he could make his stand clear that he is open for divorce.. Till then dont initiate divorce or annulment.. Because shipping her off to India without her parents knowledge will invite huge trouble.. Their daughter will be your friend's responsibility..
Because once she is in her parents custody, it is up to her to convince her parents or elope the guy.. Let him document with evidence , even the fact that he left that girl safely in her parents custody and the reasons for your friend to do so .. After that the girl goes untraceable or anything happens, then her parents will be answerable and NOT your friend.. Be very cautious and careful with every step you take..

Helping her elope with her lover , don't get involved in all that.. I doubt even if she knows the meaning of love and the courage required to fall in love..

Regards,
Riya

 

Actually Riya, I think this is a really good suggestion. It will keep the OP's friend in the safe side. Because then, whatever happens to the girl is not his responsibility. The girl might not be very thrilled with this idea though, but I think this would be the right thing to do.

Vatsa

 

Hi,

I haven't read other posts but coming back to your friend's problem,recently i have come across something like this frm my friend's friend,he had a love marriage but her wife had affair with some other guy after their marriage,somehow her dh came to knw abt this and confronted,she agreed,he asked her to leave all tht crap but she continued and inturn she agrued back to my friend saying that she is not been taken care of properly by him&she has no interest in him,then tht poor guy took her back to India went straight to girl's parents and told them clearly what happened&returned back all her belongings including her jewellery.Later on that girl got married to her lover is altogether a different story.I think few men are also suffering in marriage.

I think its advisable to speak to girl's parents & let the girl&her family decide as to wht has to be done,in this way atleast ur friend will have some peace.

 

hi,

this sounds more familiar.before the wife runs away from your friend in few months it is better to send the girl to her parents place instead to her lover and inform them before hand about what had happened.

my wishes for your friend to get a good wife very soon.

 

[JUSTIFY]
Dear Mr. Shyam,

Casually, I came across with this thread today. You should not have brought this issue to the open forum. Instead you should have advised your friend to convey this issue to his in-laws either directly or thorugh his parents, which could have been correct course of action. Still she is his legally wedded wife and it is the responsibility of your friend to take care of her in all matters and allowing her to stay in a hotel is not a proper course of action. In anything adverse happens, he will alone be personally held responsible and nobody can save him.

Loving a boy and marrying another is very common. There are number of cases, who had initial problems; but well settled and leading a happy married life with kids. Most of the IL members have termed him like a kind hearted hero; but I do not admit him. The girl should have been properly advised not to break the marraige or otherwise it would have been a disastrous one to her. I will term the girl's lover as a great rogue, without any self confidence and he has no moral right to speak about her, after the marriage is over. Assuming that the girl joins with him, after some struggle, the lover will keep her quite for time and then he will run away, citing some reasons and he is not dependable and if he is bold enough, he would have somehow married her.

I think your friend is going to face a great problem in the life. I would prefer him to immediately pass on the information to his in-laws, take the advise of his parents and also in-laws and not to break the marriage on any account and time will heal his wounds.

Regards
[/JUSTIFY]

 

It's really sad but gud it ended this way otherwise more problems wuld have crept up for your freind & dont worry...time is a real healer....ur freind will find somebody who loves him & he'll ahve a happy life
Best wishes to him....

 

Shyam where is the lover?????
Too much is said already about the husband and wife...and all you friends pitching in shouldn't that guy now take responsibility for the girl and let the 2 of them handle it?...
I suggestion is let your friend divorce and be sure he is no longer responsible for any mis-happenings to this girl...
call his parents and inform them... also call her folks and stay clear from helping this lady.. she smells trouble
K

 

I read this only today. Tridev is making very correct observations. I observe that some women are supporting the friends and saying "Support the girl" I wonder if a man had married a girl and then told her that he does not want to live, give me divorce and go back to India, then what would happen? Surely sparks would fly, some would advise her to tale revenge. One lawyer member in IL always posted, take revenge file some case! But since the girl is doing, she is shown as brave!!! To each her own, i guess. Just an observation. Also, if lover boy and girl land up in India and file case of harassment against husband, they might also have lots of money to themselves! Be careful shyam.