Am I going in right direction??? Please Advice!!!

Malavika81 · Feb 25, 2010

He demands 40000 as alimony? I must have missed that part but I did see 40000. Don't give him anything and kick his arse out as soon as you can.
So if this guy has no money, no job and no prospects and a blood sucking leech, what girl in her right mind is marrying him as his second wife? Maybe him and his parents do this as a regular scam to siphon off money from unsuspecting girl's parents he gets married to? I've seen many stories like this of Indian blokes who marry just for money on telly.

archana2008 · Feb 25, 2010

oh my God!
Archana i am so sorry for you. How did you bear all that.
I read this post as my name is also Archana.
Give him divorce, not a penny to him.
Infact he has to give you money.
I dont have words to say anything.
I am sorry. Please take care of yourself. :bowdown

ArchanaP · Feb 25, 2010

Thank You Srividya for posting the thread "<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Cskarnam%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Cskarnam%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Cskarnam%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><style>  </style>[FONT=&quot]How Men & Women Explain about their Decision of Divorce!![/FONT]". This has triggered me the thought that I should talk my problem out and seek advices and help.

Yes, you are right. He will not help me with household chores. I would have been glad if I was left alone to do the work. But he will scrutinize my work. I can not sit on the sofas the way I want as I will wear them out. He says I am the enemy of my home and I will make sure to wear it down.

I just replied back awhile ago to earlier posts. He came back today sending a message through one of his friends that he does not want anything. I am know he is paying some kind of mind games. Can any one tell me what his intentions were, first asking for money and then saying it's ok I do not have to pay him anything?

Nandshyam · Feb 25, 2010

Kudos !! You learnt from your experience and made the right decision. A person who is materialistic is not at all worthy to cry for. Especially those who bring that up in a marital relationship. IMO, they are just paid sex workers. Sorry, but that is what I feel about the whole concept of dowry and those asking for it.

You deserve someone much better and all this age factor is just nonsense in this time and age. You are just 30. It is better to be alone than to be in abusive relationship. I am not saying that you are going to be alone. Being with such useless creature just kills your self-esteem and confidence, you are better off without them.

Concentrate on your life. Never pay a penny more. How can he threaten and ask for more $$$. Use that opportunity next time like phone tap or email etc and use it as an evidence against him in your divorce case. Threatening you with such thing is a serious offense in India, including all the abuse he did during your relationship.

He will for sure finally get a job with a help of our India Law to count the number of steels bars in his jail.

I understand your pain and as the saying goes, time is the best healer. Your love towards him was true. But he cheated you. He betrayed you. He still is. So don't shed even a single tear for such a useless creature anymore. Concentrate on just you now. Make some good friends. You are in US, you are safeguarded from the pathetic gossiping of our Indian society. Go out, join a gym, some evening classes. Keep yourself busy. More importantly take good care of yourself and eat 5 times a day now

For such a sweetheart like you, there will be a prince, its just that its taking time. Don't loose heart.

God bless and good luck !!

vimala1957 · Feb 25, 2010

You are too late to realise things and come to the decision. I do not understand why you must pay $ 40000/-. You have already given so much of your parent's and your money and borne all the hurts he has given. Get away from his trap asap and do not pay a penny.

reach · Feb 25, 2010

Read your story, i cant imagine how u managed staying with him so long. He doesn't deserve to be ur husband. Pl go ahead and divorce him w/o alimony of $40000. Also recover all the money.
I wish no other girl falls in his trap. If u happen to know that he is getting married again(which he and his parents will definitely do, cunning n greedy as they are), warn the girl and her parents about him. Not sure if you can do it, but do give this suggestion a try.

RadiantCat · Feb 25, 2010

Malavika81 said: ↑

You should not only divorce this bloke with no second thoughts or qualms, but you should also sue him and his parents for all that money they have milked off of you and your parents and get every penny of it back.... with interest. And no, I am not kidding. I am sure it is hard earned money of your parents and they would love to get it back from these con artists.
After reading thru your story, divorce is a no brainer here and nothing good can possibly come out of this marriage.
Click to expand...

Well said. When I read men exploiting women's sincerity, I really want some stringent punishments for them in place. It is not only whip lashes but they must be left in the Saharan desert without any point of return or in any of the war ridden zones. It must be like the punishments in the movie Aniyan.

kinjal · Feb 25, 2010

Archana,
hugs to you dear.
You made right decision.
Divorce him. Your life will be better without him. Also like Malavika mentioned sue him and make sure you get all your and your parents money back from him.

Malavika81 said: ↑

You should not only divorce this bloke with no second thoughts or qualms, but you should also sue him and his parents for all that money they have milked off of you and your parents and get every penny of it back.... with interest. And no, I am not kidding. I am sure it is hard earned money of your parents and they would love to get it back from these con artists.
After reading thru your story, divorce is a no brainer here and nothing good can possibly come out of this marriage.
Click to expand...

ShilpaMa · Feb 25, 2010

Archana, its a perfect decision to move away.
At times we dont even realise how time flies away & one fine day its hits that this decision should have been taken earlier...

I still feel better late than never... things at preset are way way beyond control or a better life prospect.. pls do the needful minus alimony.. tho am not sure how will you avoid it as per rules there... maybe showing yourself as out of work for some time.

narasmanasi · Feb 25, 2010

Archana

please do not even think twice and move on . Trust me you will find somebody out there worthy of your love ... I am speaking from personal experience ... there are happy times out there for you !

I just hope there are no kids involved . Just please consult a good lawyer and ensure that no more of your money is usurped by people who are just gold diggers !