Do you expect your husband to discuss the house contract before signing?

Dear ILites,
I would like to know your opinion on this.

We have recently signed for a house contract.

While sigining the papers the realtor asked my husbaband if your wife is on contract. He said no and signed all papers just in his name.

This was two months back. A few days before I told my husband, ' I thought at least you should have discussed this with me before signing'. I do not want to be in the contract. But this is such an important step in ones life and I thought such decisions must be made together.
My husbad says he did not feel that this needs to b discussed with me.

The same with everything in my husbands family. Last time when I went to India (Just me and our son) there were a functions in my husbands family. They did not invite me. I was with my parents. When I asked my husband he said 'it's not necessary that we should invite other people for these things.

He normally doesn't talk much. If I just say for eg: 'I am not feeling well or somethins' he would say he doesn't tell people about his problems and keep it with himself. So I should also be like that. I am a very private person. But I think I can tell my husband anything just for support. He does not like it. Infact for anything that I say he will try to find something to prove that I am wrong . A normal conversation is not at all possible.

I saw posts here about bday , wedding anniversary gifts etc. i have been so unlucky in all these. Not that he does not remember it. He remembers and after two days passed he will say 'I do not believe in such things. So no wishes, no gifts. Same with any festivals. I do traditional ritulas and food onfestivals, He would just sit on the chair , watch tv , eat when everything is ready and, go back to tv / sleep. For festivals also 'he would say ' i don' believe. So we didn;t have any bday party fr sons bday too.
But he would certainly attend all his friends and theirs families bday parties without fail with nice gifts.
This will go on if write , I won't be able to stop. About me..31 yrs old, I have baby and resigned to my job to take care of my son. I try to discuss issues with my husband sometimes just to make undesrtand what am thinking. But he gets furios and never accepts anything. For eg: if say 'I need some help with baby. He will say now I will take care of myself, you do not have to cook etc. (..but nothing happens other than watching tv)

Anyway this was just some sharing with you. Any thoughts?

 

Hi Sunitha,
You are right.
He proposed me and talked to my parents about marriage. Reason he liked my character and wanted my type of a girl.

Few months later, he said he was looking for a much fair wife, (I am medium complexion), Also I have some gap between my teeth( which is not so bad). These are two big issues for him. So i told him well then lets not get married. I kept on telling no to get married. I think as he told my parents already he did not want to come out of it. This is the reason.
Though I tried my best , i could not force anyone from this marriage.
We were living and working in different places after marriage. He never wanted to come and visit me then. It was me who used to drive or fly to meet him during weekends. Then cook for a week for him and come back. Also he never talk to my parents. If i give the phone to him, he would say just a few words.
Things are much better now. But I never had any such experience of newly wed. No movie,no honeymoon, never any new clothes,no ornaments.Nothing. Whatever I have now is what i have bought myself.Luckily I had a good job.
I am not expeting any miracle. I a hoping that things will slowly be in place. Often i get irritated when he compliments his friend's wife. (Now he stopped it) When I visit them they also try to teach me how to be a good wife. I just don't say anything because they do not know the reason.
For the same reason even when I got pregnant, no care, never discussed anything about baby, not even once , not even to select a name for the baby.

I am just telling this here, just to share these. I do not want to tell this to my friends or parents or relatives. Seeing and reading everyone post is comforting.

AAruni.

 

Dear Kanaka,Sunitha,Payal and all,
Thank you for your advice and support.
I have talked to him many times about what you have been telling. He always says ' I am like this, I have told you before marriage itself etc".

I am not that bad looking. Otherwise he would not have proposed me and married me at all.It's just that I am not too fair. He wanted a really fair woman .( I often smile at this)

And I think whey did we all study well, got good scores, nice job, tried to improve our skills each time whenever we get chance, thinking that our life in future will be better. Just to marry such people.

I had a good personality and I had lots and lots of friends and a very good name at my office. After marriage i slowly shut down everything .I resigned my job, my friends (except a few close friends that I am still in touch with).

I have tried my best to make him understand that this life is short and we will not be young for so long and we must enjoy what we have etc etc..But no use. I am loosing my patience. Now all I have is anger towards him.

Also please let me know what do you think I should do about the house contract. How is this for you all? Are you all included in your house contract?

I appreciate all your help.
Aaruni