Are you dependent on your spouse for anything???

Thanks for starting this thread, which has been the tutorial lesson for my spouse.
I hate any individual depends on the other just because of the weakness or being lazy or being scared to be strong.
All we need to depend is emotionally not physically or financially.
As a child, we should take any other's (parents, siblings etc) help till we can be on our own, but later, (generally) females develops (not these days though) a sense of financial, and controlling dependency on males which is the cause for many issues in the relationships.

Women!!!! please be independent and take the help of others if required but dont depend on the others help ..

 

I don't depend on DH for anything. I used to depend financially and emotionally before.

Now when I think about it... I earn for myself, take care of my money matters, drive to places, cook/clean myself without his help, lean towards my parents and close friends for emotional support, handle all my stuff, pursue my hobbies, do all manual and online things myself ... so pretty much made it a conscious decision to be self reliant and i feel good about it.

 

Nothing so far..........

That seems to be the major problem in my marriage. My DH wants me to depend on him emotionally but I can't.......

The thing which irritates me the most is he compares me with his friends' spouses who came here on dependant visas who got their EAD through their spouses GC application..He calls them as being independent women/men...Yeah !! whatever...I don't agree with him and we argue...I consider myself worthless if I have to depend on him to help me with my career or financially...What's the point in working my a** off all these years if I need his help to build my career???

No offense !!

 

Hi,

Does it have to be said depending on ur spouse! After all, he/she is your better half......If the partner is fortunately compatible, one will and shall rely on her/him emotionally....Financial dependence, depends on each one's situation!
In this fast world, relations come fast and end fast! Marriages dont work where there is ego. Male chauvinism is still prevalent, yet, for the sake of our culture and the welfare of our kids, lets all strive to make marriages a success!

Cheers,
Jani:thumbsup

 

True!!! What is wrong in depending on your spouse? I don't want to call it 'dependence'...love is sharing.

 

Whenever I get this feeling, I take a break.
Realty becomes more evident when you dont see eachother for a while... either he going for vacation or me, but yes after initial days of high temper I do feel like talking back to him... so I'm dependent on him.

Emotionally, Socially, Financially, physically if not 100% then atleast 10% or maybe 5%.
A lot of us may have heard this gazal....

Rahguzar


Kehti hai rehguzar thodi dur saath chalo,
bahot kada hai zindagi ka safar thodi dur saath chalo,
tamam umra kahan koi saath deta hai ,
yeh janta hun magar thodi dur saath chalo,
abhi to jaag rahe hain chirag rahon ke ,
abhi hai dur saher thodi dur saath chalo,
yeh ek subah ki mulaqat bhi ganimat hai ,
shab tum bhi agar thodi dur saath chalo,
nashe mein chur hun main bhi tumhein bhi hosh nahin ,
bada maza ho agar thodi dur saath chalo
​

Its sad at times when marriage is treated as an institution to stay in as long as you're dependent on each other. When there were no severe abusive reasons to part ways a lot of dependency becomes clearer post separation when its too late.​

 

[justify]In my opinion ...i agree with mithy and jani... I don't see anything wrong in depending on spouse emotionally and financially... right now I am working and earning....if I leave job sometime later due to kids and all...I would obviously depend on "my home's" other source of income ( I don't want to call it his money...never considered it so).....and regarding building my career and all...I regularly ask him doubts on programming he teaches /clarifies my doubts......so I look up to him for career and work too.....similarly with other things...and yeah as mithy said it may not be called as dependence [/justify]

 

Hi,

Nice topic.

We both are dependant on each other

1. Financially,
2. Emotionally
3. Physically

and by every means that could exist on earth.

we have our own reasons to dislike and walk out of this relationship but we know for sure that we cannot be without each other. Even a single and the most silly thing we do in life would be a joint decision.I am not telling this to boast, but with each and every dirty fight we have, we have realised that we love each other more and more and though we have a lot of stuffs in reservation from both the sides , we just can function as one and one integral system as a whole and I am happy about it!