Dont ever argue!

Cheeniya · Jul 30, 2007

Dear TDU
It's nice of you to have retrieved and reposted your humorous comment. I did reply to it too but unlike you, I am unable to retrieve it
Sri

ksv · Aug 1, 2007

Dear Cheeniya Sir,

A very well written write up on ' Don't ever argue' with suitable examples..

After reading ur post i remember my mother saying - whenever u r in an argument remember this proverb - ' Speech is Silver & Silence is Golden' . These words when remebered at the right time really helps..but the question is does it come to mind when in a heated argument !!! I would say no!!!

Arguments are unavoidable in one's life!!. but one should not later regret for having lost an opportunity becoz of it as given in the story ..

Thanks for the post.

regards
ksv.

Meeta · Aug 2, 2007

Dear Cheeniya Sir,

I do agree with you that we should stay away from arguments, but not in all instances.
I believe in the fact that we should try to convince the other person about our views and then let that person do his part, like accepting our views or discarding our views. We can't say that arguments are always a heated one rather its a more like a conversations between persons who disagree on a point. Yes, loosing in anyway hurts the ego..........but its again our attitude that how we take the things.........graceful acceptance of others views or simply walking away from that place to analyse the things for a strechable period of time.....
My views are argue on anything.........but lets never stretch the time of an argument. You can easily know a person arguing with you that whether he/she is rigid/flexible to accept your view......when you get to know about the person's mentality you can just stop yourself form a longer discussion.........
which we call argument..................
Thank you all.

Cheeniya · Aug 2, 2007

Dear ksv
The art of arguing can not be defined in generic terms. It is a very complicated subject. It differs from person to person and even depends on the mood of people arguing. Havent you seen that some jolly good chaps who can take any amount of arguing with a smiling face become very irritable on some days?
My take on this subject is this. If you happen to enter into an argument, you should know when to stop and not stretch it as if your life depends on it. If the other person shows irritability, withdraw from the scene immediately.
If both parties are in an extremely jolly mood, even the fiercest argument may sound like a healthy banter!
Sri

Cheeniya · Aug 2, 2007

Dear Meeta
Arguments are like boxing matches. You must size up your rival before getting into a bout. If you know him well already, it is a plus point. Arguing with strangers can be a very bad experience at times. Some people are out for a fight and it will be unfortunate to lock yourself up in an argument with such people.
As you have rightly pointed out , prolonging an argument can sap your energy.
Silence is sometimes indeed golden!
sri

Bhugan · Aug 5, 2007

Dear Cheeniya
I fully agree with yr views and want to show this article to my husband and son.
I always tell my son that the best to win an argument is to avoid it and even if u win an argument u may lose a relationship.
Arguments generally leave u emotionally and physically weak and on hindsight one wld feel that its not worth it. But all these senses dawned on me only when i became forty as when one is young u generally don't think of the outcome or after effects and only with age one mellows down.
When u r young u r a little selfish and u have a devil may care attitude as u r carried away by the ego that u r young and at that time u never realise that its goin to b a very short span in yr life.
bhugan

Cheeniya · Aug 5, 2007

Dear Bhugan
I feel nice that you have agreed with me on the subject of arguing! There is a lot of truth in what you say about how age mellows our attitude towards others. Is that not the purpose of aging? Some people tell me that aging increases our intolerance but that may be due to the fact that such people continue to have unbridled expectations.
As I have progressed through my life, I have learnt one lesson that our expectations can be expected to be fulfilled only as long as we are in a position of being of some use to others.The less useful we are, the more will be the gap between our expectations and their fulfillment. It is inevitable.
sri

Kamla · Aug 6, 2007

Nice one!
If anything leaves me agitated or unhappy, it is an argument! I avoid it like a wild fire. At the same time, it is very difficult to keep off it especially when you know that the other person is absolutely in wrong.
Unfortunately, everyone thinks they know best. I may know which film a song is from, but the other person is arguing the head off trying to convince everyone that he/she is right by naming a wrong film. I am now able to keep off from arguing with such 'thick' heads...but it has taken me sometime to come to this complacency. I do value my peace, even at the cost of some heartburn :?
But don't know why, I am not able to be so complacent when it comes to my hubby....that is a whole different ball game;-)

L, Kamla

Chitvish · Aug 6, 2007

Dear Kamla,
Your last line instigated me to write this post - well, Sri, don't get overly anxious, if I am planning to write a second post in every thread of yours !
If so, it is your "not so good" luck !!
Kamla, I too have the same problem of a "different ball game" with V alone ! Well, I try my best to have the last word, in spite of failing to do that effectively, after all these years ! Typical of his nature, for every 100 words from me, there is not more than half word from him. He is always miserly with words. That provokes me all the more & I stop when I realise, he has already left the scene !
Finally I feel like a Sandai Kozi, sadly & start my next attempts at peace-making !!
Love,
Chithra.
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Kamla · Aug 6, 2007

At least, variety is the spice of life Chithra. V seems to be a man of few words and you seem to be all words....as per Cheeniya's description!!
My case is quite different. We are both very much alike......:x......( Another matter that I am a shade nicer than him:mrgreen: ) We are both Leos and always at loggerheads...he has just as much to say as I have...Hmmm........We are both grumpy or saying sorry to each other...same time! Believe me...no fun AT ALL:!:

L, Kamla