What would you do?

it definitely looks like an arranged marriage.

seriously there should be a medical check up done for the potency, followed by counselling if he is potent.

to encourage him for the tests better the girl also undergo the test. that will give him a comfort factor to go for the tests.

if the guy is impotent then the girl can part ways - the reason being there also doesn't seem to be a great understanding & love between the two.

this is evident from the fact that in this 1 year they have met only 5 or 6 times & didn't spend quality time together.

probably he is potent but forced into marriage against his will. may be he has a love story behind. or he doesn't like the girl.

whatever the reason may be the girl can not waste her life.

have the tests done first & then further action can be planned accordingly.

 

bluejay,

It does all depend on the priority of the problem. You just started this thread here for the opinion and this thread looks for every one like some one’s problem (not even the Op problem).
If the OP has a problem then people really try to think hard and try to give some suggestions. .
I think lot of people may not have experience the issue mentioned here. So they may not have much to add here. If the OP has some issues and if they state the problem then people at least try to think and give some suggestions rather than opinion.

 

Straight question: Is this your problem? My answer to your post: impotency leads to sexual frustration and it cannot carry on forever. The man must be cooperative in rectifying his deficiency. If the lady is also not interested in sex, they may not have issues, but the psychological impact will be drastic in both of them. My ex was impotent. It was reflected in every other facet of marriage and life. I happened to know someone who is impotent and went for treatment but the wife was not patient enough and they eventually ended the marriage.

The man needs both sexual and psycho-sexual counseling.

 

Hi Bluejay.............it is not so easy to answer without giving the topic a thought.

If both the couple love each other then there is no harm staying together.
I know of a couple who are married for almost 15 year now and one of them has a problem yet they have decided to live happily making lots of adjustments for the love of their families.

Of course everything depends on the person who is affected as to how she/he will take it !!

 

Whose problem is this? Is it a real problem or an imaginary one?

Take him to the doc.

Well, there are now laws governing how a wife should react. She has all the freedom to get a divorce citing impotency of her husband. But, that does not mean that she should opt for a divorce. It all depends on the couple.

Personally, I know a couple where the wife has some problems in bearing a child. Both the husband and wife used to go for treatments for many years. Still they have no children. But they are quite happy as a couple and belonging as they do to the previous generation and respectable families, they did not separate and are living together for many many years still.

It is not easy to live the whole life knowing that you will not have an issue... requires a lot of understanding, patience and sacrifice.
Sandhya

 

jay.. you may read other threads where couples living together also cudn't have IC until few yrs or were not compatible mates in bed.... I guess its less to do with potency than expectations & upbringing & definitely harmonal levels which guide you to a process which is natures law.
One may say that all attend natures call but then we still need to potty train a child whilst some kids are knowing it themselves ... Practise makes you better in any performance...

You need to sort out the gal's requirement:
1) If reproduction -then u have assisted methods.
2) If body need - then counselling /medical assistance/ spouse assistance.
3) If inferiority complex - then separation... only thing .. how to ensure that ur partner is a great performer in bed ahead of marriage?

Is this boy holding on to IC since he stays away from the gal? in the fear that if he/ she might not be able to cope up further without each other? First they have to live in together to know the exact problem.