Which are the qualities that your IL hate in you.

Hi
This is a different kind of thread
Here is what my MIL doesnot approve me doing....
She doesn't like anyone wearing sandals inside home.But as for me I was raised such that we used a separate sandal even inside,though she dont like it generally, she said it's my wish.

 

I could write a book about all my "faults"

1. I earn money therefore I have an attitude problem.
2. I "make" my husband look after my needs and help me with household chores and baby care.
3. I dont know how to "sew"
4. My mom gets more respect than my MIL (not true).
5. I am fat therefore cannot get pregnant (have a 10 month old son).
6. I sleep too much (took naps in the day when my son was a newborn).
7. I eat too much and drink too much water
8. I was raised abroad therefore dont know culture, traditions and how to "respect" my in-laws
9. I am too outspoken

.. the list goes on and on

 

Good one mlk2009.

This is the list that my FIL submitted to my dad just 2 months after i got married -
1) She never shows her payslip to us, never hands over her monthly salary to us, its always our son's cheque that is cut for the monthly expenses - never hers. (Straight - i cannot)
2) She learnt carnatic music, but when we asked her to sing one day, she refused, whereas she sang in her own marriage. (how silly !)
3) She doesn't talk much, keeps quiet. (what can be expected out of a new bride who only sees 3 men in the house who always either keep reading books or watch TV - that too, the animal planet and discovery channel that the bride is not interested in??)

Enhanced list now(7 years later) -
1) She cannot keep the house clean (they keep wiping/cleaning the cabinet, wash basin and bathroom every day. it doesn't get so dirty every day, and i have lot of other things to do in a day that i feel are more important, and make them only a weekly activity)
2) She does not pick up the toys that my DD has dropped in the living room. (i have made my DD pick up the discipline of doing it herself after she is done with her playing, when she is in my control. but when in my Inlaws control, she knows she can get away without doing the work. i do not agree with this lack of discipline, and so dont pick them up myself. i have tried telling them so many times and finally gave up.)
3) actually these days, they have a differing opinion from everything i do, though i try to everything exactly like how they do. i see myself in a thankless position doing everything the way they want, yet gaining nothing but discontentment.

 

Asha, don't get me wrong. I understand that what you make is NONE of your in-laws' business, but surely there is nothing wrong in paying for some of the monthly expenses, since you also share the household with them?

Secondly, if you have a nice singing voice, then you should show it off. Why did you refuse to sing for them? (just dying of curiosity, LOL!)

 

Hmmmm, the easier question to answer would have been what my in-laws LIKE about me? (that list is very short, LOL!)

Anyway, the BIGGEST thing that my in-laws dislike about me is that I take no nonsense from any of them or even my husband. I am extremely outspoken and quit taking their verbal and emotional abuse about a few years ago and they, esp. MIL, JUST hate that!

MIL is a hypocrite who likes to pretend and create an impression to outsiders that she is a product of the 21st century. In reality, the woman lives like it is the 14th century, and has 14th century MIL expectations from me. She even soundly abuses the MILs of the women in her family who expect her precious female relatives to behave towards them (MILs) in the EXACT same way that she expects ME to behave towards / around her. Well, DUH, double standards much, MIL?

In fact, on one occasion, she told me that I should obey her unconditionally and take her verbal and emotional abuse quietly because that is how DILs are *expected* to behave! When I hauled her over the coals for that, she decided that I was a "bad" DIL who had not been raised right by my parents and complained about me to anyone who would care to listen, hoping that I could be cowed into submission.

Of course, she's getting older now and seems to be behaving better although she does back slide now and then. However, I quickly stand up and put her in her place, so our relationship is a tad better. But I am sure in her heart of hearts, she thinks that I am nothing more than a disrespectful upstart that has "stolen" her precious son away from her.

Oh, heck yeah, that's what she dislikes the MOST about me: That I have her son permanently and firmly tied up in my mundanai. :rotfl

 

My in laws hate ME the complete package ,they regret the day I entered their family.
There is nothing in me that they like.My very presence is an eye sore for them.I am not supposed to even open my mouth there as the sound of my voice makes their blood boil.When my DH is talking to them on the ph i am not supposed to even cough in the back ground.

suji

 

I'm sure there are lots of reasons me mil hates me, but one of the biggest is because I'm not a girl of her choice. My fil doesn't hate me, but obviously he can't go against mil.

Same as Malyatha, my pils like to think they are 21st century people, but inside they are straight from ancient times. Love marriage for everyone else is fine, but for their great son only arranged marriage will do. Even after dh's divorce with a girl of THEIR choosing, they still think they know best! :bonk

 

Suji,

Same thing with me! When mil used to call, I found myself trying to breath quieter just so I wouldn't be heard! I knew she liked to call me nasty woman on the phone, so I thought if she could hear me in the background it would set her off. After dh hung up the phone it was always like a big sigh of relief!

 

My in laws rather my FIL -SIL hate the TOTAL ME.I dont know about my MIL hating me becoz she has been nice to me.Atleast she doesnt act up when I am with her.My FIL has been all over the world in his career . But his mindset is of some tyrant FIL.He has to be in control always . This applies to only sons. Never mind the son is married. That only adds the DIL for him to control.And that to with an iron fist.But the daughter can have all the freedom and she is mature enuf to handle her own life.

Coming to SIL-She is my FIL in making or the complete transformation is done already. She hates me for any of the these reasons-She is barely lookable with big nose and dark complexion. I know I am not Aishwarya but I am fair and have proportionate nose as my mom.SIL is short and and I am tall.The look she gives me each time she sees me tells everything.
She herself has a hen pecked husband but she hates me becoz I dont let my husband make foolish decisons like listen to her and move to India without a proper solid plan.She just keeps telling my husband to move to India becoz they are his family . She never cites any reason why he shud do it just like THAT.

My SIL also hates me becoz I didnt let my husband separate from me listening to her ADVICE.

In a nutshell my FIL -SIL cant give us a timetable for each day hence they hate me apart from all the above reasons.