Enough of compaling about MIL, lets talk about DIL for once!!!

Hi sravanthi,

I'm new to this group but I've read many... previous forums of all subject.
Your e-mail was indeed touching.
I completely agree with u that D-L are no way goody goody character ( as shown in TV serials)
If M-L are spiteful -D-L are equally scheming...

The younger generation are well qualified, smart, calculative at the same time want be independent & self- reliant.
concept of sharing things,views, are less. the give & take policy...is slowly diminishing!
many may not agree but it's the fact!

cheers!
Anu Shiv ​

 

hi sravanthi,
good day. there are 2 sides of a coin. in this world , there are equal % of no -good mils and same % of no- good dils.sometimes even when we are very good natured (either good mils or good dils ), some mismatches occur in life . just pray God to make everything good & acceptable in one's life.

thanks,
harini

 

My thoughts exactly........ The same story(good or bad) narrated by D-I-L differs from the one narrated by M-I-L. Two different people, two different views for the same event. Only thing is this forum seems to be frequented & vented out by One set more than the other:-D

 

hi
Its true that there are DIL who are very scheming and go out and out to break the harmony at home.What u have shared is a very common thing also as is the story which a DIL shares bout her MIL. There are nice people and otherwise in both.I don't know if i'm right but i feel that before ladies were not that independent and strong willed as they are today.Before they used to adjust alot and to them their home was "sacred" they were the docile and dependent types who were afraid of their husbands and inlaws.Mybe thats one reason why the MIL also could suppress them then and show them that they were the boss! But now girls r fiercely independent with a mind of their own.They make all their decision and don't mind breaking some ground rules also which their own mothers might have not.They don't want any intereference in any thing and if they don't see things happening their way they even go for divorce which was taboo before but very common these days.The ego clash between the MIL n DIL makes the problems arise and if either one is wise they handle the situation otherwise the situation becomes bad.Who takes the wise step is the better person in any case.In ur case the DIL is not only behaving badly with the inlaws but also with her husband.That is even worse cuz not only the poor parents are suffereing but also the guy who has done somuch for her.Lord help her find some good sense!

 

Hi Sravanthi,

I have experienced the same scenario in my family where my aunt's DIL has a mother who calls her every 30 minutes and advises her on every issue as to how to fight with her hubby (my cousin) and win him over. It is now 2 years of marriage- my cousin too loved and married her, they have a daughter last year and now there is NO peace or happiness in the young couple's life, though there is absolutely no contact with my uncle and aunt (her MIl/FIL) as they live in chennai and these ones live in Ahmedabad.

The biggest issue here is in arranged marriages, the parents of the guy looks for rich girls more than good quality adjustible type middle class girls. My own MIL married a very wealthy girl for her second son (my BIL) and was illtreated by the girls parents (sambandhi) at the time of marrige itself. But the dowry factor along with grand wedding and lots of silver dishes, diamond jewellery etc., made my inlaws worship the new DIL. Inspite of that, the new DIL started bitching about my inlaws family from day one and never respected or regarded anyone in the family including her own husband who has no control over her in anyway. Then they moved to Canada, now after making 2 kids, they have seperated and waiting to get divorced. It is just the nature of the girl with high headed attitude due to her money and her parents support in all the wrong things. To highlite the issue, my cosis made a comment on the day of her wedding that it is her money that made her inlaws love her, so she will use her money to get everybody out of her life as soon as married and she DID IT.
Though I was shocked to hear her comments on the day of her wedding, I kept quiet as my inlaws made life hell for me during my marriage bcos of greed.
My husband told his father that you all wanted money not a wife for your son, so you got what you wanted and now your son is all alone in life, see where your greed got you in life...

I do agree there are lots of DILs nowadays are very independent in thoughts, actions etc., but being considerate is something the mothers have to teach the daughters and sons.

Hope your aunt and my aunt feel better in their lives,
Geeth Priya.

 

hi geeth priya
i feel sorry for ur bil.
i also agree with other il ites like blondie and harini that there are both good and bad dils and mils.sometimes gud ones get a bad one unfortunately.if ur lucky then u get a gud one......
reards
pavithra

 

Hi Pushpavalli,
I do not thnk it is financial independence that has made girls rigid.It all depends on attitude and the way you have been brought up.You could be earning millions but still be humble and respect your inlaws.It works both ways.
I am a working women and earn equivalent to my husband and I still love and respect my inlaws.I believe it is all because of the culture and environment we had at my parents home.My parents are doctors,gave me all the freedom and high education but still instilled the fact that I have to go to sasural(in-laws place)and be a part of the other family. i was told at the time of my marriage to love and respect my hubby's parents in same way that I love my parents.But they also taught me not take any injustice pr physical abuse in stride. I was also taught that I have a right to live my own life. I think this taught me how to bvalance my life ,take my own decisions and still keep my in-laws happy.
Now you might think that my mil may be different then normal mils( ) but no she is the same...always complaining and trying to comein between me and my husband...I have been married for 8 years and believe me ,me and my mil have never had any fights...even if it her mistake..I laways think what would I have done if my mother did the same thing... I follow this mantra and 99 times out of 100 I feel my temper going down.Now I have been lucky that my inlaws are not greedy or abusive...in which situation this will not work.

I believe if all DIL's follow this in normal tiff's life would be peaceful.

Just shared my 2 cents....some of you might now like it..