Harmless Flirting Vs Harassment..

Please complain.
You have posted so many threads here regarding job hunting.
Finally you found one that makes you happy. Also no relative can say you're wasting life.
It will be highly disappointing if you leave your job for a flirting guy.
Sorry just had to put this out for you.

 

Familiarity initially breeds attempt and later contempt. Nipping in the bud is suggested.

 

Dear @anika987

Others have shared some wonderful responses here. Let me add my 2 cents if that helps

Being employed is not just sitting in an office for 8 hrs and getting paid for that. It is a lot more than that, especially for a woman. It is about going out of your home/your comfort zone, handling people around you... at office, outside etc... and balancing work & life matters. It is about managing communication, people's skill, time, integrity, dignity, accountability, responsibility etc.. etc..
In return, your job will not only pay you a salary, but also self confidence, social respect, social status, name, fame, a sense of accomplishment, friendship, etc..etc...

So, it is very important to prepare ourselves to 'work" outside of our house/comfort zone, regardless of the title.
This preparation helps us survive in the office culture in the long run.

Coming to your case....

It appears that you are unable to recognize whether this person is indeed harassing you or doing something harmless; hence you are confused and asking for solution.

Sexual harassment in the workplace includes unwelcome sexual advances or requests for sexual favors and comments, jokes, acts, or other verbal or physical conduct that is of a sexual nature or directed at employees based on their sex.

The man is calling you hot, cracking jokes, taking selfies and sitting very close to you like a lover would do (I am quoting all these from your post) and he is doing all these because of your sex (female). This is sexual harassments.
Generally employees are briefed on Code of Conduct, and the reporting lines in case of sexual harassments or exploitation takes place at work. This is a mandatory step in most offices (of course major ones).
I am sad that your office skipped this mandatory process when yo joined.

Regardless of the workplace, it is our gut feeling that protects us from sexual predators everywhere. Self awareness, and being able to safeguard ourselves is indeed an art every person should be mastered at.
This will help us sense the harm around us, and act wisely.

Sexual predators target easy persons, who looks innocent and lacks self awareness. Eg: kids
Because it is difficult for a child to understand whether this person is indeed loving her or abusing her. The culprits utilizes the confusion to exploit them.

You may quit this job for now, but you will end up facing a similar incident in the next place where you chose to work.
Fearing this, you may stop going to work in the future. But life doesn't stop at that. There will be days when you have to face the real world on your own (without the protection of your parents or husband). Above this, you are mother of a young girl, who will soon begin to face the world on her own. How are you going to guide her? What wisdom are you going to share with your precious young girl?

First of all, it is high time to self introspect yourself.

What makes them think so?

What makes them think that you are an easy target unlike other women?

Yes, because people think you are innocent and an easy target for abuse. They complement you to ensure you trust them, and treat them like best buddies. This will eventually make you vulnerable before them; hence they can abuse you.

Office colleagues are not even friends, forget about considering them as your best friends. You have just recently started going to this office. You can't consider these fellows as your best friend and speak your mind out. This shows how vulnerable you are before people.

Hereafter, be professional at work place. The more you project yourself as independent and bold, the less you will face these kinds of incidents at office.

Good luck. I am sure experience will make you grow further

 

Please dont blame yourself for their behavior or be guilty about it. They are responsible for their words and actions.

"Telling me that they are waiting till summer so that they can see me wear short clothes,or I look pretty when my hair is flowing in the air when I was working."

Isnt it verbal rape? How did you respond? Dont smile or laugh at this personal level jokes if you dont like it. That give him wrong message that you are Ok with it and enjoy it. Behave as of you didnt hear Or show displeasure.

You need to stand up for yourself. Dont quit immediately. Who is your boss( of the work place) ? Complain there .

Nexttime if he talks like this, say I dont like these kind of talks , you better stop. He may mock at you, but be stern.

Your collegues are not your buddies. Be very professional. Why people think you are so soft? You can be soft but be assertive. Change your body language to look confident. Looks like they enjoy ragging you.

For some reason, he thinks you are Ok with these kind of talks and messages. You need to stop him else it can elevate. Dont reply to any message after work hours. Find some excuse.

Was there any training at the office on workplace ethics and behaviour? First change your approach, if he continues, then complain to your boss if there is no HR. Be assertive and confident.

 

I think you have to be strong..This situation like every negative situation is trying to teach you something. You will be strong once you tackle this. Stay strong and set your boundaries..Whatever you don't like say it bluntly.Dont get confused You are the best judge. If I were in your place I would be ok with people calling me conservative but would bluntly tell the people around me..whatever is bothering me. Not that I am very strong or never faced a situation like this..i told myself that it's a do or die situation..if I don't respond I have to other endure what is happening or quit which will further lower my self esteem.
And if still you feel you can't find a solution and are uncomfortable in this situation ..Quit as I told you you are the best judge. Whatever you do don't feel yourself to be conservative, confused or weak. Sometimes the circumstances are such that there is no solution and you have to do away with the situation.
Lastly you are not wrong, not weak, not misinterpreting..you are the best judge of this situation. Tacld I with confidence. Even if you quit I would say you tackled it in the best possible way.

 

Anika- Everyone has suggested what I would too so I will leave all that.

Men like this are a common occurrence. However, they are neither your friends nor your brothers. They are your colleagues and treat them as you would a colleague whom you don't know very well.

No, women get freedom from them at any age. Women have to stand up to them and report without worrying about their family life because they aren't worried about their or your family life.

I hope you get clarity soon!