1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Old Friend Insisting To Talk After 3 Years

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by mohini16, Jan 7, 2023.

  1. mohini16

    mohini16 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    134
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    I had this friend "A" whom I had known for sometime , I knew him since he was single and then got married I was friends with his wife too ,not close one but I used to talk to his wife ,more with guy
    Now we had one common friend "B" , so friend A introduced me to friend B and we became friends then
    B Was single and I was single too , we never dated , B had romantic interest and wanted to ask me out but my and his expectations were totally different so i never Said yes for going out with him and he understood. We remained good friends and used to talk often, he got other girlfriend meanwhile
    Now this friend A out of nowhere started telling me not to talk to B because B is his family friend and he suspects B's mom is being insecure because of me , she is calling him every now and then. I asked A what did she say exactly, he said she didn't say anything about me but he is assuming he is calling him because he doesn't want her son (B) to talk to me. I initially avoided as A is only assuming, but then he started calling me and insisting me not to talk to B and start ignoring him ,I told him bluntly one day who I talk to is nobody's business And I'm not going to ignore B just because you are imagining
    He got irritated with my answer and hung up the phone and blocked me on WhatsApp, FB and social media which I felt was super childish, I felt bad for sometime, I wasn't expecting to stop talking to him coz of this silly issue .
    Anyhow since I was blocked everywhere I forgot about him and moved on with my life.

    Now suddenly after 3 year I get his message on FB guess he unblocked to message and asked about life, I responded and asked about his wife too
    I lost his number as well we exchanged number however I had no plans of calling him . And now from last 3 week I'm continuously getting his message can we talk. Can we talk. I told him I'm busy with some urgent stuff then he is asking me what are those stuff, this guy even in past would want to know did I open new business ,what is going on with new idea or what I'm upto ,he wanted to start some business with me and we used to discuss ideas . Anyways I'm not responding to him now ,but he is messaging everyday to talk, this guy disappeared after small argument and blocked me at every possible platform suddenly has urgency to talk after 3 years , I'm not calling or responding, he lost that friends place where I would call and invest my time in listening to him .
    What is the reason now and what should I do?
     
    Loading...

  2. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    300
    Likes Received:
    547
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    You have not told what's your intention in replying him back on his fb msg n reason for giving your number to him ?
    Do you still consider him friend and want to keep in touch? If that's so, then there's nothing wrong in him asking to talk to you. Probably he felt he did wrong and had courage now to talk to you n clear it out?.
    If you feel he is not even sorry about the past n you feel him intimidating then just be blunt and tell him you hadn't expected him to block you out for no reason and suddenly reappear n imagine friendship to be normal. And tell him you are not on the same page now to continue this friendship and end it there.
    He does seem to be immature and lacking boundaries. You need to be firm on how you want to be treated n if he doesn't comply, let him block out from your life permanently.
     
  3. mohini16

    mohini16 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    134
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes I shared number because I feel it's immature to not respond when old friend message you and I do have intention of talking to him but at my convenience not when he is messaging and bombarding me
     
  4. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    300
    Likes Received:
    547
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    If so, then tell him the same politely instead of ignoring his calls or msgs.
    Tell him that you prefer to be a private person and do not like being questioned about everything and that you would talk to him when you are free.
     
  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,998
    Likes Received:
    20,885
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Female
    Why does he want to mend fences now?

    Somehow this does not feel right at all..


    Some relationships which are over are meant to be over..


    Why go through all the headaches again..

    just ask him bluntly what does he want and also its fine to bring the past to seek a closure.

    However…no matter what from my experience of life and relationships…this is not worth
     
  6. mohini16

    mohini16 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    134
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Asking me to talk is fine but continuously messaging me everyday to talk to him is ticking me off and I changed my mind to speak to him
     
    anika987 likes this.
  7. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,955
    Likes Received:
    11,421
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    He acted like a child out of anger. But he only knows the reason behind his anger, because we are in the dark on what has happened between him and B's mom in reality.
    May be he tried to protect you from unwanted accusations from B's family or B's girl friend or anyone, and they might as well accused A for connecting you and B in the first place.
    Since you rejected his solutions right away (which was right), he might have felt disrespected, and blocked you. Of course a silly and childish behavior from him. I wouldn't expect maturity from such a person in handling relationships.
    But, I don't think A is harmful.

    Since you have responded to his messages, and gave your number (again a right thing to do), he may have assumed you are ready to resume friendship and even business with him. Poor guy.

    Give him clear instructions as to what exactly you want from him. If you are not ready for a chat, just state it in a clearer manner.
    He wouldn't understand your mind until you communicate the same clearly
     
  8. godsgp

    godsgp Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    80
    Trophy Points:
    60
    Gender:
    Female
    Don't girl! Don't do it.
    Maintain distance.
    :innocent:
     
    anika987 likes this.
  9. mohini16

    mohini16 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    134
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    This guy called me at 7:30AM in morning , he expected to talk in morning, I disconnected his call and messaged him not to call early morning , it's time to drop kid to school and work, he felt offended and told me he won't call ever now
    This is childish behavior, he went on telling me how he did favour to me in past and I shouldn't be forgetting that
    I got pissed off this time and decided not to even call him back and start friendship again with such person
    His actions show do what he wants else you are not friends anymore, in past
    He blocked because I denied his demand to stop talking to common friend. This guy is nothing but a bully . I
     
    godsgp and anika987 like this.

Share This Page