My 10 Year Old Wants A Starter Bra…

Loved how you have written this

 

Hi, this generation kids are very fast forwarded not just in thoughts and actions but even their bodies. In 1970s to 80s, the mean age of attaining puberty for girls was around 15 or 16yrs mostly when in 10th std.
Later by 2000s the age came down to 13-14yrs and now even 8yr to 10yr old girls are starting their periods (blame it on adulteres food n hormone laded milk that we depend on!).
10 to 12yrs age group is referred to as " pre-teens" or "tweens" where they get exposed to a lot of new things about their bodies, puberty, get more aware abt safe sex through sex education in scools etc. It is quite common for a 10yr old wanting to wear a starter bra and no, she doesnt need to be 'more developed' to start wearing it. Infact starter bras or teen bras are good to educate girls early on about the changes in their bodies that will start anytime soon and how they should wear it and significance of wearing bras as they grow.
They should be comfortable about the changes in their bodies.

I remember in my childhood, wearing bras was considered to be embarassing thanks to my orthodox mother who made me feel guilty for needing to wear a bra by age of 13yrs!!! Made me feel guilty for washing them n hanging out in balcony. She used to prefer hanging it in a corner of bedroom invisible to anyone inside house members or outside people!

Please be a friend to your pre teen daughter n make her feel comfortable and infact participate with her in choosing the teen bra for herself and let her appreciate her body and any changes that will soon start.

 

You are my go to person for all parenting tips. In fact for many mommies in this forum. Very well written Rihana..

Anika I attained puberty really late.Last in my school gang i suppose.
I remember when my girl gang were wearing proper bras I was exploring something like starter bra. in the 10th standard school trip my friend shamed me for wearing a starter bra. It affected me so much.. Now I feel like laughing at that incident. That age I couldn't laugh but i felt bad .

Please buy your daughter if she asks for one. Take her along and explore. It's okay if you wore it later in your high school. buying her now should not be based on when you wore.

Maybe our moms wore when they were in college and our grand moms never wore?

 

Peer pressure. Instead of 'bra' introduce tanks/ camis and crop tanks that look like training bras. Take her with you. It may solve the problem, as she just want something that match with others. Explain why, she need an answer, thats all. Example(example). Tell her try this, we will buy more advanced ones later based on her need. Slowly introduce other types.

 

If she’s adamant let her have it. She’s trying to fit in. Afford her the opportunity. Let her buy the exact thing, not similar or other. Kids can be eagle eyed. If peer pressure is the issue they will spot the different underclothes in a jiffy and use it to shame her more!!! Why do you want that? A training bra is not harmful even though you think she doesn’t need it. So what’s the big deal?

From what I understand the girls’ cliques in the schools here can be vicious… capable of carrying a taunt or grudge forward for years together. I was told this by multiple moms of girls - one mom explained (since I have boys) that there was such a huge difference in her son’s school experience vs her daughter’s. That boys fight but next day forget and are back together playing. But girls form cliques and use stupid reasons to exclude and look down on other girls. In her dd case something trivial that happened in first grade was used as a reason to exclude for years together even upto fifth grade and beyond! It’s not worth it.

You make so many posts complaining about how your mom minimized your concerns as a kid. Don’t do the same to your kid. Just buy her the things and be done with it. Let your daughter feel she can actually come to you with her problems and be heard.

 

Aah..it's after all a piece of cloth.Dont deny this.I used to suffer a lot during teen years because I never had pre teen bras..used to go to dance programs so often and I still remember those ruthless comments on me while in the green rooms.My mom had no knowledge on those.