Varamahalakshmi Bangles -- Returned Back

Maybe she forgot you had given them and regifted back to you? It’s lacking in social graces but she is 9 months pregnant so I would try to take a charitable view.

 

I have come across a few situations wherein I tend to do something for someone while the gesture is lost on them.

It was very kind and thoughtful of you to remember that she wished for something and did it for her. I feel you should stop thinking beyond it. You gave a gift with a genuine feeling so cherish that feeling.

Do not give a thought about how they receive their gift or what they do with it. I have had instances where the gift my husband and I gave to my sister's husband (BIL) was broken to pieces in front of our eyes - a watch worth 20K. I felt very angry and upset that i wasted precious time and energy into that gift. I went to the extent of thinking of stopping gifting things to people.

My husband told me that if i changed that attitude, i might just let my BIL win. or in your case the other lady win.

Just let it slide. Don't bring it up with that lady or anyone else. Infact, you should probably buy bangles and gift it to all the ladies in your apartment during Navrathri, take a pic with all f you wearing and keep it in your status.

The trick here to remember that it is ours only until it is in our hands. Once it is given, it is no longer ours.

And if you still feel unhappy, try and think how the bangles you carefully selected came back to you because it realised that the best person to wear it can be only YOU for them

 

A thought that you wanted to give dozen glass bangles to someone who was pregnant and felt sad about no one performing a function for her, itself is noble. You have taken steps to carefully select them and gift it to her. We have to always see the intention behind every action. Your intention was noble. I can’t even suspect the intention of the pregnant woman either. As long as you had executed with the best of intention, leave anything that happened after your action in the hands of God. You didn’t give it to her for her appreciation but because you felt for her misery.

 

why not ask her calmly why she returned the bangles you gave her? And just listen to whatever she says and make
peace with it?
Because evidently you cant stop thinking about it. And make sure it does not go back and forth when you talk to her. Ask, listen, ask , listen, period. On the second iteration, even if you are not convinced, you need to ensure you stop the conversation and accept whatever she says?

 

You are correct. It is a weird situation. Instead of going deeper into what why wherefore can you just make your peace with it and just put it out of your mind? In the long run this may be the best option.

you had the best intentions, she was sad and you wanted to cheer her up. This is undisputed. But the sad fact is nowadays even the most modern, highly educated people suddenly lose their minds and become completely superstitious morons when it comes to pregnancy childbirth and kids welfare issues. It just is. Something about your giving the bangles didn’t sit right with the woman or her mother. Did you plan it as a surprise for her? Then maybe she didn’t like it? Maybe she was just venting to you and didn’t expect you to actually gift the bangles. Or the mom had an issue with it. I think your innocent action precipitated a whole crisis in that house resulting in the mom coming suddenly and doing a private ceremony to which you were not invited. Friend had no guts to face you so sent the bangles back through maid. The reason could be anything really. Maybe their family has rules about who can give bangles, only specific people, or what tithi, var, nakshtra it should be given… location… vastu…caste… some bs reason. What good will it do to know? I feel enquiries into the why will only end up hurting you unnecessarily. So just leave it.

it’s good that you are a compassionate person and want to help your neighbors. But also see clearly who is what before you decide to help. I’m not telling you to change your nature but definitely next time this woman tells you something just take in one ear and out the other. Do not involve is my advice.

 

@mail2dee after burning my hands going out of my way to help others now I explicitly ask them if they are venting or they will be fine if I offer help. Don't think you need to fix anyone's problem unless otherwise they are immediate family members. I always have this tendency or mindset that I need to be of some use to people around me. I removed that criteria from my head and keep things simple. If you need time you will get my attention if you ask for help I will provide suggestion unless and otherwise something is spelled out clearly by other party I won't go out of my way to do anything . This will save your time and heartache in long run. By doing this deed you might think you have provided some sort of comfort but in actual reality that was not intended by other party. These bangle ceremonies comes with many ifs and buts who gives them what day and other sentiments. Mostly done by husband or mother's side family. Not sure if strangers giving is accepted. On the other hand when you give thamboolam it is very good to add pair of bangles. I would respect the sentiment of other person and let it go. Sometimes we should just focus on ourselves and forget all the noise from outside. Believe me it gives you peace of mind.

 

Golden words. Worth remembering.