Dont Know How To Have Sex

i am sorry i do not agree with the statement Picked a guy from the lot. if this is what marriage is for , i will not blame men then.

 

True. Divorce rates in indian marriage are lower because of various reasons
The wife is not financially independent
She is scared of social stigma.
Working divorced women face more sexual harassment from colleagues/men in India. This is very true from one of my friends experience.
Worried about kids future. In USA, the kids are mostly on their own after 18. There is no pressure to get ones daughter married as in India.

In USA, women Divorce when there is no love/respect in the marriage. Sadly indian women don't have that luxury.

 

He not knowing wherr to put his thingy is like the ultimate lie of his life for sure!.
ED or not, he clearly has issues with his organ as is reflected upon on the Semen analysis as said by you.
The whole thing about chemistry n all I dunno but science has its proofs that be it animals or humans all release some chemoattractants at certain moods/seasons which makes them to get intimate. The law of nature is to reproduce.
Humans need sex for pleasure apart from making babies but also they need to emotionally connect to get intimate...unless someone just go for one night stands or no strings attached type of flings.
Intercourse in a marriage is different by the mental and emotional connection along with physical.
If you both are not on same page, physical intimacy is difficult along with his ED problem.
With such stress amongst both of you, it is not safe to even conceive.
Please first reduce your stress and reduce thinking abt doing IT only for making a baby even of that's your aim.
1st try to rectify his physical problem. Then try.

 

Not necessarily. For men everything is in plain view as far as their organs are concerned whereas for women everything is hidden. It can be baffling for a first timer. What this fumbling etc indicates to me is that he has never been with a woman before OP. Added to that she says he’s low educated so less knowledge in general to begin with, combined with male pride, reluctance to display ignorance etc lands you in this situation.

 

It seems (to me) that you ‘think’ you are ready for all the problems but that you are not in reality.

This problem with ic is the result of his low education and you are not okay with it. Posted two threads and many posts about your frustration. Just pointing it out as an example.

You picked a person from the slums, as you put it, with no income and low education thinking he will do as you say and be under your control.
This is your miscalculation.
Low education comes with a level of ignorance and an inability to take input or change as you are already discovering in the matter of the ic. People with low level of education are less curious, less interested in change, more stubborn especially when it comes to changing themselves, more likely to have fixed ideas and fixed mindset and more likely to resort to finger-pointing and blame. Added to which you are a woman and the accepted power differential of the society you live in is not in your favor. This is just the beginning. Yes you will reply that ‘I didn’t imagine that even this will be an issue!’ to which my answer is ‘Expect the unexpected’. It kind of becomes a mantra when you embark on the adventure known as marriage. I too did many things I never expected to be doing or dealing with for my kids, my husband my in-laws etc.

Your words to me and others are brave and as if you are ready and able to take on anything. Your attitude seems to be more like ‘You are not telling me anything new. I’ve already heard all that (possibly from your dad or relatives), and brushed it aside. I’m here now. Tell me how to go forward.’ But I feel you are being stubborn and unwilling to turn back which even now we are saying you can. You can still turn back, it’s not too late, stop here, and terminate your association with the person.

And btw, I totally disagree with your assertion that you took an educated informed decision. It smacks of desperation to me. An informed decision is what whatsherface took - that Miss Universe - she went in for artificial insemination and has one or two kids. No issues, she announced it also and had them and raised them happily. No legal headaches, no custody issues. Now after so many years she’s found her guy and she’s able to move forward with him also without complications. I do think something similar is the way to go for you and will suit you better.

 

I think @1Sandhya madam summed is all. When you said Picked a guy from the lot.

dear op, my point is not intended to show that you are wrong or right. just wishing the best. also suggesting, only focus on s.x as child birth is not right. that is too much pressure onyour dh too