1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Am I Doing Something Wrong ?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by EagerForInfo, Aug 15, 2021.

  1. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,197
    Likes Received:
    1,442
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    yes. thats what i have been saying
     
  2. indubalram

    indubalram IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,852
    Likes Received:
    3,409
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    It’s so scary । that she has to go through this!
     
    sarvantaryamini likes this.
  3. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,197
    Likes Received:
    1,442
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    True. It happens.
    Even moms with special needs kids go through this. Imagine their plight.
     
    indubalram likes this.
  4. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    979
    Likes Received:
    124
    Trophy Points:
    108
    Gender:
    Female
    He would avoid buying food or diapers at all cost when I was home with the baby. He just started but buying food in 2020 during lockdown when friends were discussing corona and how to buy food in advance to avoid going out. Maybe because friends would ask but I don’t know. Covid was a turning point with regards to food shopping
     
  5. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    1,917
    Likes Received:
    3,997
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    Thats a positive change. Keep your past experience in your mind. Dont bring it again and again as it may elevate to more issues. If there is anything positive, encourage, appreciate and take steps from yourside to reduce negatively in your marriage. As you want this marriage now, make the stay, pleasant for you. Good luck
     
    Rihana likes this.
  6. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    979
    Likes Received:
    124
    Trophy Points:
    108
    Gender:
    Female
    But why ???? When he knows friends are watching he buys. So he knows he’s is wrong in not buying food. But why???? It’s emotional turmoil when ur baffled by his weird behavior !!
     
  7. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    545
    Likes Received:
    664
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Are you serious or sarcastic? She is giving more than half of her salary to him. Is she worth something to him? If so, he would take care of her and not negotiate like a business partner with her. What is this world coming to? First, society said women should not work, next she can work, next she should work but take care of the house, now give the husband's "worth" to him. For what? The guy has his own salary. He is not doing philanthropy by marrying her. @EagerForInfo, you have every right to hold on to your savings. He is being an asshole if he is asking for your entire salary. Unfortunately, this is how men are, they support each other. You are his wife, not a slave to give your *entire* paycheck. Don't yell. Put your foot down and tell him firmly that you need your savings. I would say you volunteer for the shopping if necessary. Family is teamwork, not power play. It is not at all a virtue to give away your earnings and behave like a Saint. From personal experience, it has only backfired, did not help any woman.
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2022
    Aarushi, EagerForInfo, Minion and 3 others like this.
  8. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    545
    Likes Received:
    664
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Cut that "friend" off from your life. If you're in trouble tomorrow will she offer you boarding and lodging expenses? You should stop confiding in people like her. Looks like you are surrounded by pigs.
     
    Minion, chanchitra and lakshmi888 like this.
  9. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    545
    Likes Received:
    664
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    @EagerForInfo, a general advice and my 2 cents. Even the strongest and closest, most loving relationships are broken by money. So don't let money dictate your relationship. That said, nowadays being a self sacrificing woman and confiding, giving away your everything to your man is not considered a virtue, by the man himself. A snake should not bite but it should not stop hissing. Please play your cards wisely. And don't look up to men and definitely not women in your circle for help and support. It never works.
     
    Minion, chanchitra and lakshmi888 like this.
  10. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,197
    Likes Received:
    1,442
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Well said. I learnt this the hard way
     

Share This Page