How To Deal With Dominating In- Laws

This just feels like my story. Getting disconnected as much as possible is better. I have tried explaining things, trying to think from their perspective and all, but I realized it is futile. I am out of facebook, whatsapp groups with his side of family, and don't invite or go to his family events. Now the only complaint is I don't want to mingle with his side, but is better than all the negativity and ganging up. Many a times something said has been taken out of context added masala and used to brainwash husband.
I would have preferred to have atleast cordial relations, but not sure how I can do it as inlaws are very dominating. Fil would ask people to visit our home in US, ask son to take them to places and all without even informing us or knowing if we have other plans for the weekend which usually would be kids activities. In his mind, it is his son's home, who am I in the middle, even though I am the one who has to cook and clean. Not only that, even in finances and with our investments in India, he does things and doesn't even bother to inform or consult. According to him, it is his son's money and is the least we do for them as we ran away to a different country. Sil's are always there to add fuel to fire.
If people are reasonable, maintaining diplomatic and cordial relations is always better.

 

Dear Op,

In my opinion, confronting or taking a dig may backfire you or ruin your peace of mind as they being elders.

Also responding back may give a chance for gossip mongers ...

In my case I have opted out to be diplomatic from in laws and others, but I do interact with all.

Hats off to Indus ladies group friends who helped me a lot in overcoming these hurdles...

 

OP,
I dont have any advice about confronting the inlaws but definitely in the two instances you quoted - you can utilize your knowledge of modern technology to decrease the annoyance level.
For the Whatsapp group - Definitely do NOT leave the group. I did this once to avoid the pesky posts of a member and ended up angering the admin - a friend who I had no problem with - who took my exit personally. Instead utilize the technology. Mute the group and once a week just scroll through all the posts and DELETE them without reading. Avoid reading the messages or watching the videos. The delete button is really your best friend and the sole savior of your mental peace. Once in a while, pick 1-2 nice posts from another person and reply with smile icon or a thumbs up and that's it. As for the 2 hour class on the phone - if your husband is not around when she gives those, just put her on mute and carry on with your work.

 

you can archive whatsapp chats/groups