Those Who Quit Job After Marriage

Going far away from the parents of the potential husband had been the biggest attraction of the NRI alliance in marriages. It is a prepaid love-nest nuclear family without any pestilential MIL interference!! Has not a thing to do with corporate jobs or career ladders to climb.

When people come to a fork of decision making --- to decide this or that ---as in marry-local or marry-NRI, they decide based on the information they have. More than often, the influential parent had a hand in that decision. Fathers have had subliminal influences on the daughters' decisions on marrying someone of a "certain" qualifications.

I knew one woman who married an NRI, and had a high level corporate job, lots of travel, local and international, lots of hassle with reportees, as well as higher-ups. She was good at it. Didn't take any nonsense, and knew how to handle asinine idiots -- down or up in the organization. It is the same for a woman as it is for a man. It is stressful, but what high-paying job isn't?

 

Hi Sandhya,
It is definitely tough for a women to handle corporate job and been through it. There are women who handle both well but the %ge is really less. There is lot of gender bias in companies as well and seniors do not value or promote women. We have to keep our respect away at many times. Senior leads talk in different tone with women compared to other male colleagues..This is true in 70% of cases. .. I am now feeling and at a stage where in being house wife is far better than doing job only provided husband gives you money and cooperative. Many of my cousins give their credit cards to their wifes and that has not been case with my ex husband where he did not give me a single pie. So Job gives lot of strength and security to any person. Having said that not every NRI is happy few friends have not come to India s husbands dont allow or give them money and they some how have put up with men as they have no courage to divorce. So I feel decision is subjective. You can give yourself time with husband for 3-6mons and always rejoin company if you feel that mental security and financial freedom with husband. Biggest advantage of marrying NRI is that they will not have inlaws head ache all the time but again some men are getting their parents to live with them permanently even in US. From my experience, I do feel that if wife and husband are alone there will be strong love and bonding than staying in joint fmilies atleast during initial 5yrs of marriage.

 

Oh there are many reasons arnt they.

Some of them are not allowed to do what makes them happy.

Some are and choose what they can live with and what they cant ( however regret slighlty on the things they had to give up because of their choices).

Some women are naturally political so politics in office is just a part of life for them.
Some are not fond of politics but have thick skin so they just zone out and focus on what their job is.

Some are thin skinned and keep changing jobs or quit altogether and stay home.

Some just want to be 24/7 mothers than anything else. They are happy that way.

Some dont work because they can freely afford not to and they have supportive spouses.

I have missed many. But just putting it out that there is no single reason.

As of women tagging along with nri husbands and could stay housewives for the rest of their lives... well whatever rocks the boat!. Good for them!. Suite life!

 

Great points mentioned by others .. It is a combination of one's talent, drive, opportunities , necessity, support system , priorities as an individual and then as a couple when married. When living abroad it gets a tad bit more complicated as other things like sending baby to daycare, if in-laws or parents are visiting to help with baby during the initial months, any other relationship, financial or health issues going on or not .. in general growing up with patriarchal mindset, women automatically adjust themselves more on the household things and men tend to take lead on career and finance.. for some couples it works out well where one takes lead on home and kids front and other will focus on career.

At the same time women also realize that they have more say and can assert their authority more when they are earning. So, we compromise and keep doing the job which is less rewarding but balancing everything somehow. At times the career progression feels stagnant but that happens to men as well close to 40's. If we somehow make it to the stage where we have decent career and kids are older than 7 .. then I feel depending on one's drive they can explore management or higher positions.. It all depends on that individual and keeping the fire in the belly going..

Also, many women are convinced they do not have to work to lead comfortable and happy lives and I feel which is why they tend to keep their careers on back burner. Women are also convinced how much ever they achieve at work front their true success is tied to their husband's or kids' success. Biological clock is in clash with career clock for women and no one can argue this point.

 

Who are we to decide others life??