Making Friends Later In Life... How To Do That?

lavani · Jul 8, 2021

Hopikrishnan said: ↑

Many of us make a transition at a latter stage in life. Let's put it at 40 years old and older. There is loss of spouse due to death/divorce, children leaving home to go to college and spouse had said all there is/was to say, or spouse was "let go" from a job, and had to move to a new town, there could be many ways one might end up in a new location at an older age. How do we go about making new friends ? Are there any interesting techniques ? I am thinking of moving to Florida, or to warmer climate, and I need to figure this out.
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friends between is always tricky as my dh says. find gym buddy , work buddy. spiritual like art of living or similar.

Laks09 · Jul 9, 2021

Hopikrishnan said: ↑

How do we go about making new friends ? Are there any interesting techniques ?
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No interesting techniques. It’s a lot of work to find the right set of friends. Those running/walking/yoga groups seem to be interesting friend groups. I can see a lot of camaraderie amongst the women there. There are women only groups that I’m a part of and ladies seem to join with the intention of finding buddies to train with and eventually become friends with.

Any school/college WhatsApp/FB Groups. Look up who is in the area from your old acquaintance and if you are interested in reviving that connection, you can! Lots of people are moving towards the southern states and invariably there are fellow classmates in the same situation.

Interest groups and old friends are a good starting point. Neighborhood groups are another. I often see people post for women walking partners on next door and others chime in about groups or include the poster in their group.

The indoor jogging track at the gym is the place where people seem to be mingling. It’s annoying to constantly jog around a group of people casual walkers taking up all three tracks and gossiping more than they are walking but they seem to be having a blast. And they’ve all met each other right there. I eavesdrop shamelessly! They make plans after walk, movie plans, pot lucks etc. One day they even went to the garden store together to start a garden project together!!!!

Amica · Jul 9, 2021

Neelaa said: ↑

If you have friends in your present location, you will make friends in Florida too.
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This is so true! People who are gregarious will find friends anywhere they go. If you've been a loner all your life, making friends later in life is an uphill task.

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Amica · Jul 9, 2021

@Flyhigher, hi! I love your user name and enjoy reading your posts. A very belated welcome to IL!

Flyhigher said: ↑

Participate more and more in community events like Christmas, Halloween events and volunteer to help in decorations.
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If you don't mind, could you tell us more about your volunteering? And also about community participation? How did you get started and what do you do? Thank you.

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Flyhigher · Jul 12, 2021

Amica said: ↑

I love your user name and enjoy reading your posts. A very belated welcome to IL!
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Thank you @Amica.

Amica said: ↑

If you don't mind, could you tell us more about your volunteering? And also about community participation? How did you get started.
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I volunteer at our local animal shelter, beach cleaning, underwater cleanup and as a translator in various community centers around the city, whenever there is an upgrade and repair project in our local shelters me and DH both join to help.

My the first volunteer was beach cleaning. There I made few friends. After few weeks a friend from that volunteer project texted me saying there church looking for volunteers, I joined that then later from there I got know about the need for volunteer spanish translators, through one of these hospitals I used to visit for translation I got introduced to women’s shelters/centers. One of my friends from my yoga group introduced me to an animal shelter. Some of my volunteer works initially needed a mandate of 4-6 months commitment like an intern, underwater cleaning needed 25 diving experience or mandate training.

Amica said: ↑

what do you do?
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Retired early. At present I am a homemaker.

Hopikrishnan · Jul 12, 2021

Flyhigher said: ↑

...
Retired early. At present I am a homemaker.
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I like your activities. I imagine a friendly personality. Yoga and Cleaning activities at beach/underwater are also good exercises with goals - instead of just sweating while watching a video/tv.
I am retired as well. I wonder if it is more cosmopolitan on the gulf side of FL or the Atlantic side of FL.

Amica · Jul 13, 2021

Flyhigher said: ↑

I volunteer at our local animal shelter, beach cleaning, underwater cleanup and as a translator in various community centers around the city, whenever there is an upgrade and repair project in our local shelters me and DH both join to help.

My the first volunteer was beach cleaning. There I made few friends. After few weeks a friend from that volunteer project texted me saying there church looking for volunteers, I joined that then later from there I got know about the need for volunteer spanish translators, through one of these hospitals I used to visit for translation I got introduced to women’s shelters/centers. One of my friends from my yoga group introduced me to an animal shelter. Some of my volunteer works initially needed a mandate of 4-6 months commitment like an intern, underwater cleaning needed 25 diving experience or mandate training.
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Thank you so much for the info, @Flyhigher. You've given me good ideas.

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NOW · Jul 15, 2021

After reading this thread and from some personal experiences in my own life I started feeling like making new "friend(s)" is more or less like dating or getting married . If you rush into it, the break up will be painful and if you take your sweet time there is risk that the friendship may never fully blossom and will eventually remain as neighbor/parent of kid's friend/colleague/some activity buddy etc.. Muddy waters indeed as unlike dating scene we tend to pursue and maintain several friendships in parallel .. LOL... just thinking of all the possible scenarios makes me tired. So not looking forward to be in that market and I am happy with what I got now.. little kids, full time job , household responsibilities blah blah.. BUT .. the clock is ticking

Flyhigher · Jul 24, 2021

Hopikrishnan said: ↑

I like your activities. I imagine a friendly personality. Yoga and Cleaning activities at beach/underwater are also good exercises with goals - instead of just sweating while watching a video/tv.
I am retired as well. I wonder if it is more cosmopolitan on the gulf side of FL or the Atlantic side of FL.
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Florida is melting pot. Lot of people are either from different countries, different parts of USA mostly from northern part. In my city I met lot from New York & New Jersey. As you go down south large number of Spanish speakers you will see. Wherever IT & universities are there those cities more of like cosmopolitan.