How Many Of You Are In Joint Family With Grand-in-laws?

I had lived with grand parents inlaw. Inlaws were working and stayed else where. It was our responsibility. She stayed with Dh before our marriage and it continued as no other children were ready to take care. It was our responsibility to take care of them. They were in good health and helpful even for us. When they fell sick, we would look after them.Even for general health checkup, we would take them. Morning i would make the breakfast and for the lunch boxes. By the time we were back home, she would make the dinner or would help me. Weekends we would have long talks. Later on they went and stayed with their children as i was going for the delivery.

 

I don't have grand in-laws but one of my friends got married into a family where her DH's dadi lives with them.
Dadi is mostly the responsibility of her parents-in-law. Her PIL are very very nice. Her MIL is more like a friend, and they used to chat more than the husband-wife. My friend is working full time, so she helped all she could - cooking , cleaning and all but not more than that. Health-wise and most other primary responsibilities of dadi were taken care by her parents-in-law. My friend is a very family-oriented , Sooraj Barjatya types bahu, so it was all good for them.
Her Dadi used to say nasty things about my friend, about why she is working, and how she does only so little house work, why she is taking so long to have kids (it was just 2-3 years) etc etc. In such times, MIL used to defend my friend to no limits and even shout at Dadi not to say anything about her bahu. Dadi was quite moody though, at times very nice and at times very nasty. When my friend had chums or was unwell, Dadi used to cook and care for her.
So i guess it was more or less fine for her - but really depends on the family.

 

I am living with 2 sets of in laws. Mine is love marriage. My fil takes good care of his father and mother. Now my grand fil is dead. My fil is only son in family he has 2 sisters. But in last 11 yrs my grand inlaws visited to their daughter only once. For cooking and all other stuff all r ok. Due to aged persons we always provide them fresh meal twice a day. My grand mil is very moody and has very old orthodox thoughts. I think all 3 generations living under one roof is really very very stressful but cant help it. My fil is very strict person. He monitors every move happening around his parents. My grand mil is quite ok with me but is not in so good terms with my mil. My mil respects her but both act like outsiders to each other. No sharing not much love not great caring. I get very stressed around all 4 of them. I sometimes cannot even eat properly. Can not cook some of my fav dishes because grand inlaws can not eat specific food and i dnt have enough energy to cook seperate meals. There is big compromise on daily basis on all levels. In corona we had to take extra special care. Still we dnt hav maid for moping n i end up doing it everyday for all 6 big rooms.
Also cant leave her alone at home so we all never went out together overnight. I hav missed many programs due to this. I am generally very tired very unsatisfactory about this.
If you hav choice then its ok but if u dnt then be prepared for sacrifices

 

Best to have a full time help to manage grand in-laws. What ever the cost. The help can assist in cooking, cleaning, caring for grand in-laws. It will keep the DIL better in her mental and physical wellbeing.

 

[/QUOTE]the maid will wash the utensils in service area or wash room and keep washed utensils in tub..she has to take the washed utensils from tub, rinse again with water and dry them and arrange in kitchen...[/QUOTE]

Same in my house too...initially when I was naive and newly married, I would do all that utensils washing again. Now after decade and half after marriage. I control the kitchen, the maid doesn't enter the kitchen, I don't wash the utensils or wipe it again. She washes it in the morning, keeps it in the tub and by evening the utensils are dry, so I just arrange it in the cupboards.
I told my husband, " look this is how I do, if u want the utensils washed again, u can do it urself". He just kept quiet. Inlaws although being a bit orthodox but civil, couldn't say anything cause then they have to do it themselves.