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Post Marital Depression Is A Thing.. A Rarely Discussed Topic

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Sweety2019, Jun 30, 2020.

  1. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi everyone
    Post marital depression is something that is least discussed on. And i guess the numbers in india this will be way higher if diagnosed.
    Please share your experiences if anyone is going through this phase.
    And if anyone has come out of this phase.

    It might be helpful for a lot of people out there..


    I for one have been dealing with this for quite sometime now. And there are times where i would just like to give up because of the depression.
    I have had so many side effects due to this. I can't remember so many memories because it eats up your brain.. fluctuations in health.. the feeling of worthlessness..so many more..
    But also try my best to push myself and put up a calm composed face just so that some people, who care, don't worry about me.

    It would be helpful to know how everyone of you have coped or coping with post marital depression
     
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  2. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    I haven’t really heard of this, but I have heard of post-wedding blues. It is the feeling of emptiness after all the carefully planned wedding festivities. It’s this the type of thing you think you are going through?
     
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  3. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    Never heard of this. or may be i didnt recognize it
     
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  4. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    @BhumiBabe Yes post wedding blues is a thing which some people do go through but post-marriage depression is different. And I didnt have any post wedding blues because the stress of certain things before and during wedding, I was just happy the day was done..


    @Angela123 Even I didn't know about it until recently. Just for a reference/idea check out this link.

    Post-Marriage Depression: The Under Diagnosed, Untreated Reality | Feminism In India

    Not all of it is true for all but yes some parts are true.

    And giving a name to what we are going through is more helpful to recognize, acknowledge and work on it.
     
  5. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    The only thing I can relate to on that article is how DIL is not accepted as one of their own in the DH's family. After the wedding I have heard my MIL saying "she belongs here now (DH's family", but I can see the double standard when it comes to everyday life. She cares more about DH and grand child than me, when we all are in the same situation. It stings but, i believe it is too much to ask for!! I know her very well, that's why and I hear about what she is capable of from DH. So I do not expect anything from her.but, I am looped in all important matters and DH makes sure I am included, even though he is protective.
     
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  6. ImHuman

    ImHuman Bronze IL'ite

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    Depression is depression whatever the causes or whatever the names given to it. .It's basically you are not feeling good enough to enjoy life, or feeling not able to cope life's demands..

    Are you suffering from anything that is written in the article. What are your depression symptoms exactly?
     
  7. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    Yes I completely agree depression is depression irrespective of the tag that we place on it. Sometimes it becomes a problem when you need to find the root cause of it. Depression as such is not a widely talked and accepted topic, so finding a solution is difficult most times. And forums and experiences do help people to understand it.

    Yes I have suffered/suffering through something in the article, which has made me not enjoy my life or not be able to cope with somethings.
    There are many more small things which are out of this article,but certain times what people forget is that the smallest action affects people in a good or bad way, and categorizing these things might help people to talk to the concerned person.Or ignore the concerned person.
     
  8. MaruthiRao

    MaruthiRao Silver IL'ite

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    I believe, marriage does not mean you have lost your individuality.... Its an understanding between two souls to build a new relationship strong, not at the cost of your past life... We need to go hand in hand... I feel we should take it easy and try to explain to our spouses... If things do not work, pls make urself independent enough to lead ur life on a longer run... I was struggling for long until I realized, what do have to lose, you have people who love you even today, stay for them, when there is hatred, jealousy in a relationship, then you should distance in mind, but let the soul feel you are there for their concern, but he or she will realize some day, pass positive affirmations, things gradually start working...

    I perfectly agree to your point...

    This makes sense to eradicate the root cause!!!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 5, 2020
  9. MaruthiRao

    MaruthiRao Silver IL'ite

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    Well, I am a medical practitioner, sorry to know that we make impressions so soon that we don't see the better side of life.. I am happy to know that some people have assumptions, this is just one dimension to look at, it's most unfortunate that people don't need suggestions, they need recommendations.. God bless!!
     
  10. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    Considering that people in west usually date before marriage, I don't know where this concept originated.

    Most people think marriage is fun and being in charge of their lives, automatically. That's not the case in reality. Our ancestors knew this and treated marriage like a responsibility. Love was celebrated by poets, but for marriage, rules were laid down.

    Nowadays, there are no rules, no wisdom passed down from elders and people anyways don't even want to hear elders. In such cases, there will be surprises and disappointments.

    It is okay to talk to someone close, like parents, but take care not to share every aspect of your life with them. It will only aggravate issues, if any. Parents usually are biased towards their children and may unnecessarily provide wrong advice based on the hearing and interpretation, rather than facts. It would be best to watch and observe, be patient in the beginning, than to indulge in outburst. Do not lose hope and unless there is something major - domestic violence, or strange sexual behaviors, do not confide in anyone. As I mentioned, it may make things worse instead of providing relief.
     

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