Im Confused With My Life

Hi OP
If you are uncomfortable to visit this friend or inviting this friend to your home,you need to tell this to your husband and stick on to it.Make plans for your kids when this invitation comes.If your husband visits them ,ask your kid to go with him.Nagging to your husband or complaining to him will not work.I did that with my H and failed.Doesnt yield any result.

As soon as covid situation is over,look for jobs even if it's entry level position or less pay.
Reduce your contact/avoid this friend so that she will get a message.
It may be a just casual friendship,but if you feel miserable stay away from this getogether.

 

Your doubts seem to be valid
Dont invite her anymore for sleepovers.
Get a job.
Avoid get togethers. Act sick or make plans for your kids.

 

Agree with others above. Dont fight over it. Behave normal and watch. If something going on,then they start to hide if you nag him.

Have you ever talked to your friend on this? Like you wish her to contact you than your dh.
Do you have any solid evidence on their affair? Is it a friendship or affair. Thsts what you need to find out. Behave as if nothing happened . Explore it.

If it's just a friendship, why this make you insecure? Is there any other issue in your marriage? If she is getting more comfortable with your dh neglecting you how can you call her a friend? Avoid her. Dont invite or go for get togethers or sleep overs ( is this for kids? I dont understand why she should go for when her dh was not feeling well)

If you are 100% sure that its affair, you can contact her husband anonymously with evidence ( eg: a fake email id) and inform about it. Anyway, watch and see. Be smart and use your brain.You need solid evidence before accusing anyone.

Its important to define boundaries in any relationship.Try to be independent in all aspects. Also build your own friends circle, so that you can use that excuse to avoid this lady. Also find other activities to get busy.

 

Even if your husband and the lady are friends, you have a reservation about their interaction and your husband should respect that. Friendship at the cost of marriage and wife’s peace of mind ?
Ddream is right about gathering evidence. No point fighting now, gather evidence and go from there. Like everyone else that has responded to this post, my suggestion will be to get a job. Look up online courses , update your skills.So even if it happens to be a affair, you have the choice to move on .
It’s time for you play smart.

 

I live in a community with lots of desis. I never see any man visiting another house and having dinner- there, on a regular basis.
Your worries are valid. But what to do about it? If he agrees to a affair, what will you do? Do you plan to leave the house or ask him to leave? Can you stay alone? First work on some self-sufficiency and then tackle this problem. In the mean time, show your unpleasantness to the woman- when no one is around.
Definitely, cut her out of your mind and life. You cannot force anyone else to do the same. No invitation to your house, do not go there.
Do you have a group- of relatives on phone or friends here, the group has husband also? Whenever, the opportunity arises, say that-he eats out every day for dinner- at a friends place-jokingly.

 

Op

first of all remove fear and insecurity from your mind. Even if you are financially depandant on your husband you are not less or you don’t have to tolerate non sense. You confront him how he will feel if you do same. Tell him how much his behavior is hurting you. Warn him you will talk to your friends husband about this. Be bold and confident. You should tell this lady openly. Your husband will show tantrums for few days but his craze will fade soon. Put your foot down rather than loosing your health. Don’t fight or nag just collect proof. This phase shall pass soon.

 

Why is your friend trying to be friends with your husband. This sounds crazy to me. A good friend would never do that and she would maintain that distance. I do have few friends at office . I would never even go with my friends husband in if ber evenabsence there is grave need of me for transport issues. Is your friend single or married?
From next time you go along with your husband. I do not prefer the idea of sending your kids as even they feel what their dad is doing right or it might happen that they get comfortable with her.