Super Super Stressed..

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Jan 30, 2020.

  1. Positivity02

    Positivity02 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Anika,

    I have seen your previous posts.
    Thread after thread you are telling the world how you are jeopardizing your personal life listening to comments from third person.
     
  2. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    Anika,

    Either you take up the job and deal with it, he will come around (or not, you know how your husband reacts) or dont take up the job and ignore friends and family and neighbors have to say. In this case, you cannot have it both ways. This was explained back to back by several ILites. There is no other solution to this problem. You have two options that doesn't involve husband.

    1. Talk to the manager and post pone the meeting. Give the reason, be honest, also suggest a time that you can meet. You will have to do this when in a job multiple times when your kid fall sick. You shouldn't be afraid to do so. If they decide to move forward with another applicant just because you couldn't make it to a meeting because of a genuine reason, you shouldn't be working for that manager. But I think most people understand and are considerate. But this is if you really want the job. If you decide to go ahead and accept the job, you have to be mentally strong no matter what others say. Otherwise you are just worrying too much and why do you want to do that to yourself? You don't realize one thing that is not an option to others. Your can work stress free since your husband earns enough and your family doesn't depend on your income. So take it easy and ask the manager if you can postpone the meeting to Monday.

    2. Find a friend or hire a baby sitter for 3-4 hours or for the time you needed to go visit the manager. I do not recommend it because your child is sick and if it is contagious, you dont want them to suffer because of you.

    Calm down and think for other solutions too. Kids getting sick and meeting getting postponed happens everyday at work places. Don't stress over it too much.
     
    sindmani, anika987 and Sunshine04 like this.
  3. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    You are being unfair to your husband. He is in a high-stress job and if he is still establishing himself in his role then he does not have the flexibility you were asking of him. And it may sound harsh, but he doesn’t see the value of upsetting his career for your low-paying job.
    In every situation where one spouse has a high-pressure job the other spouse is either the one picking up all the other tasks by hiring a lot of help or by staying home.
    If you wanted to attend your interview when your child is sick then you would hire a backup nanny for the day, paying $200 or more plus the agency fees.
    I don’t know why you seem more interested in strangers comments instead of prioritizing your own happy family life.
     
  4. RRAJ

    RRAJ Gold IL'ite

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    Well said Malstrom. Exactly my point.
     
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  5. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

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    I do see similar content being posted from you...you are being easily influenced by others.

    My suggestion: kid is more important than anything in the world. I understand you need career...your husband already supporting you financially. Are you a green card holder??? Why can't you try some online jobs from home???

    You have to figure out everything before you look for job. No one will take care sick kid. Parents are responsible. I think you loosing your mental peace...you can apply for part time or try to apply for babysit jobs..you can be flexible on that..
     
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  6. abcd5

    abcd5 Silver IL'ite

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    anika987 and Sunshine04 like this.
  7. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    does she work??
     
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  8. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    she works part time..

    I cook three times a day..maybe in others point of view,it is a overkill but it feels good to give fresh food to the family and personally for myself too.
    one lady was like “you are Spoilt and spoiling other members of the family.Kids should be thought to adjust and not do so much for hubby.you are doing more harm than good being at home”..


    I know when I wrote this post,I will be annoying a lot oF IL friends as you have all tried to help me a lot..am so so so sorry for posting this but I need to talk this out to somebody and it was eating me up..So very sorry..
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2020
  9. RRAJ

    RRAJ Gold IL'ite

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    There is nothing wrong in cooking 3 times a day. Its very good. You should be proud of yourself. You are doing it for your family. Who are they to judge you. People will always tell something no matter what you do. If you start listening to them, you will lose your happiness. Just ignore them and live your life happily. Life is very short just enjoy and be happy with your family. They are the only ones who will be travelling with you in all your ups and downs. No one else. Don't make your life so much complicated by thinking about others.
     
  10. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    You know.. how come you guys are all
    So emotionally strong?What is that which gives you that confidence?
     

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