Neighbor Lady Not Allowing Her Child To Have Play Date With Mine..

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Oct 4, 2019.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Some time ago I posted a thread about a mother in my community not allowing her child to play with mine.

    Now,my kid is in the same class as mine.They both want a sleepover.
    I remember calling the mother many times and though she is talking normal ,she always avoided making playdates
    And refuses to even come to my home.

    I let it go.Now the kids go in the same school bus and are friends and everyday my child is asking me to call that mother for a play date.I explained to her patiently for the last two weeks that her friend is welcome to our home but let her mother give me a call or ask that child to ask her mother.

    My daughter keeps stressing me again and again to call that mother and I lost my temper with her today..I feel bad seeing the sullen face of my kid but even I have my self respect.I have called that Lady enough last year but if she doesn’t care,how can I? How do I make my child understand?
     
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  2. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    Are you sure the other kid also want sleep over? if so, send your information with your child and ask her to pass that information to her friend. Have the other parent contact you in that way. Is this preschool? In my DD's preschool, they provide cards to exchange information between parents to arrange play dates. Since your child is insisting, you probably will have to take the initiative. And if that lady won't reply or ignore, you have to let your child know that (I tell my kid that we are waiting to hear from you friend's mom about the playdate and we can arrange it as soon as we hear from her). Be honest. otherwise your child will think that you are the bad guy here.
     
  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    She is my neighbor and the kids are in first grade.

    I have voluntarily been to her home,introduced myself,tried to contact her many times and even invited her.
    She talks normally and when I bluntly once asked her to come home,she laughed it off..

    I stopped messaging and calling her and she doesn’t care either.

    I kept telling my child that I am okay with the sleepover and ask her friend to make her mom call me when she is free.

    She never called and my child is begging me to call that mother.How much can I stoop low
     
  4. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Ask your child to ask her friend ask her mom for the play date.
    You can tell your child, mom tried numerous times. She didn't respond. Your child may cry hearing this. Or you can convince your child by asking the other mom on the busstop in front your daughter and friend.
    I assume other mom would say no , now your child will understand. 6 yrs old child will understand now.
    You mentioned she talks normally, so not a snob.
    I feel bad, sometimes there are moms who don't want thier kids to mingle with other children.

    P.S. there was a mom who's kid was my DD's friend, who would never come to my place for playdate because we were in Apt not in a house with lawn backyard etc . She openly told that. No place to play at your place. 1 more lady said similar. My dd heard that, eventually I started attending playdates which were held in parks, or other common places like trampoline park.
     
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  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    This particular mom is very protective about her child and I could sense that.

    I told my kid bluntly that the other mom does not respond and today I lost my temper and told if she wanted me to beg to that mom and lose my pride.Then I regretted it big time coz it was not right to show my anger.

    I calmly told her that the other mom is working and she is busy and ask your friend to ask her to call me when she is free.

    I don’t understand what’s the big deal with play dates.Just another two three years and the kids will play on their own.
     
  6. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    Sleep overs at such young age is
    Not possible and many parents don’t allow it.. tell you daughter small children are allowed to go to other’s houses for sleep overs

    try meeting up in the park or take your daughter to the park and ask her to tell the kid to come to the park ...or ask her mom to call you whenever you daughter asks you
     
    Angela123, KashmirFlower and anika987 like this.
  7. AppuMom

    AppuMom Gold IL'ite

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    Op check with other moms of your child’s class.This mom may not be interested and why to pressurize her.Not all the parents have same idea about play dates. So look around for other parents
     
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  8. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Honestly,I never pressurize her.I even stopped talking or any form
    Of communication.I am
    Unable to make my child understand.
     
  9. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    That mother is not even interested to talk to me and I don’t want to
    Disrespect myself asking for a play date again and again.I have done my part.

    I feel bad for my kid and her kid.

    They are good friends living close by and I don’t have a problem with them being friends or meeting up.

    The other mother never responded properly and I could take the hint.

    Am trying to make my child understand
     
  10. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    I have seen very smart kids who when they convince own parents pester other kids to get their things done ... not saying other girl is like that but the friend should be pestering her mommy too ....If mom not responding means the friend is not pestering her mommy ...

    also sometimes kids tend to attach too much with one kid ... and it is a phase ...they get over it ... just engage her in something else or take her to park everyday to try and see other kids ..
     
    Radha99 and anika987 like this.

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