Makes My Blood Boil !!

Dont ignore. Give it back!!!
Don't be arrogant, don't lose your cool.
Give it back nicely, in a cool yet firm tone. It works.
Consistency matters. Because she won't change in a day. Repeat your response mechanism the same way continually till she understands you.
Don't take these things to your H and confuse him. Be nice with him, and tell only nice things about your MIL if you can.
Deal with her separately, but also consider that she is your MIL, an elderly insecure woman. You should not hurt her or make her miserable anymore. That's not the intention here.
Just that, she needs some reality check, and support to process her mind. Help her!!!
Sometimes people need bitter medicine to cure their health. Perhaps your MIL too!

In fact, you answered your question:-


Problem:

Response:

 

I can clearly get you here.

Just that, you and any newly married girl in your shoes will be afraid of all the things that you have mentioned above.
But what comes as reality is quite opposite to that.
After suppressing all your emotions due to this fear, you will lose
- Your sanity
- Your respect for in laws and H
- Your respect for parents and their support
- Your respect for your own society
- Your respect for yourself
- Your self confidence
- And the best part of your youth life too

As a result, either you will continue your life like this forever, and wait to revenge once your child is married. That's how all the MILs became evil in our part of the world.

OR, you can wait to become a little independent, and wait for your kids to leave the nest, so that you could also leave this horrible place called marriage. At this point, you will have no love or respect left for your spouse.
At this point either the you have no fear or you don't care.

Both are not great places to be in. You have only one life. Life it to the fullest, or at least try to live it... and take it as it comes!

Of course MIL will judge you. She will try to make your relationship with your H sour for a while. She will bad mouth about your character, your parents' etc...
So, what?
If we do anything against the wish of other person, this is what we get.
Everyone in this society knows that. But it doesn't mean everyone wishes the same!

She will judge you, but with time no one will bother about her judgement.
She will make your relationship sour, but with time your H will understand and love you back
She will bad mouth you and your parents, but your loved ones who know who you are will defend you.
She will become tired of doing all, and will stop one day. Or people will get tired of listening to her all the time, and make a full stop one day.
Whatsoever. It is not your problem.

You will face troubles, as it is normal after rebelling against something wrong. But you will find your peace sooner or later.
If you keep mum fearing all these, I am afraid you will end up being something that you never wanted to be.

 

Wait till she gets ill.. and say "why can't you take care of yourself" Tit for tat and repeat..

Sometimes you can't make a issue for everything.. That's why people use sarcasm.

 

Say the same thing to her next time she’s sick. If she complains to your dh, you can reply the same way your dh did. ‘She misunderstood, I said out of care‘

Tell your dh strictly to ‘not’ share about your sickness.

Stop complaining about your mil to your dh, it’s only gona strain your relationship with your dh.

Try to make a deal with him ‘you don’t tell this to mil n I won’t complain this about mil’ or something like that

This basically refers to how you can react to the issue..

So your reactions..

Yes, ignore

OR Start to reply smartly to mil directly, just the way she does. Use only positive words that even if someone hears it, it won’t sound bad. Just like how she does it. Learn from the expert n use the same on her.

OR a punching bag

Why not ? Buy a punching bag n use it. Maybe it might really help you vent out too. Bonus: add on muscle strength to scare people away!

 

You know what your MIL is and you still are expecting responses which she is incapable of giving. I am saying, when it comes to your MIL, do not expect anything positive. Instead be prepared for the negative remarks. It hurts you less that way.

Anger only depletes you. Find ways to detach yourself from her in your mind. You are letting her statements affect you.. learn to play it smart.

when she says "why can't you take care of yourself", ask her "how?" with a very innocent expression in your face.

Do you know how not to fall sick? then why didn't you ask her ?

when she says "my son is sad and upset" say "yes! he loves me so much" with the same innocence.

when she says "my son is tired" ask if she can help or if someone can help.

question back her remarks. She should get the message. Why buying a punch bag for this?