Atleast in India..there r so many homemakers,family around,social life that non working won’t be obvious.. In America it seems blatant.. I had someone once telling me “ A woman who doesn’t work is wasting away.waste of life”. Yes they did I am trying very hard..so many resumes
@anika987 If I were you, I would look to move to a different neighborhood. It seems like somehow the jerks of the Indian community somehow all formed a group and decided to settle down in your neighborhood. Our groups of friends where we have lived has all sorts of people (different states in India, different languages, different resident status, different economic status etc.), and I am saying this to tell you that it would seem like a fair representation of folks from India and not even once has our conversation veered towards money or job or anything like that. Yes, to make conversation, someone might ask what another person does, and that's it. If I were you, unless it makes a significant impact for me monetarily, I will not go to work. I'd rather enjoy the free time I have to pursue my hobbies or do something fun!!
Some Working moms don't even want to work. Due to financial difficulties, they have to. They carry the guilt of not able to care for kids. Some worry about the quality of care in their kids daycare. Chill girl!!!. Have some wine
¡ Touchè ! yet another good point. If anika987 were to add up the costs of things lost by going to work (opportunity cost) they would amount to higher than her earnings. No point in working for a negative income. Stop Shaming Me for Being a Stay-At-Home Mom
As peartree said, change the community before you renew your lease. I lived in a community with 90% Desis, and I couldn't deal with the politics, personal questions etc. Last summer, I moved into the new community with fewer Desis, and life is much more comfortable.
I don't get why we Desis tend to indulge in self-hate so much!! It almost seems to me like we're waiting for a fellow desi to ask us a question and then we go off and attach unnecessary meaning to it. Where as the same question from a person of a different race would probably not affect us as much!! I have been mostly around other Indians in my time here in the US and I have never experienced politics etc. Personal questions, what exactly are they? Can you list some questions that other Desis ask that are personal? I infact love to live among other Desis and think that our decision to move from Texas to Bay Area was one of the best for us and our kids!!! Different strokes for different folks, I guess!
That's why money is called as vitamin M. Its not the respect, its the confidence financial security gives you. I was a more Happy person with a great job in India. I had to move on H4 after 2-3 yrs after DH moved. From then I feel less confident than I was earning. Back in India I had my child in day care she would be waiting like a puppy at 7pm. The care taker would say don't know how she senses your coming. It would pain me. One day I left early by 4.30 I still remember the happy face she had after seeing me. We have given her no.of toys, trip to Disney., Whatever she likes....still that was the happiest moment I saw in her Damn care about others, say you work from home or study. It's true many women want your life. Than dealing with office politics, fake smiles so on. My relatives , too ask me what I do. After working for 9 yrs how can you sit simply. Earlier I used to give explanation. Now I say nothing just ignore. My inlaw sister would knockingly ask I tell her same as your daughter do. I too face the ladies who poke to mock others shaming SHAM. I used to feel bad , low. Then I determined I would say 'I'm happy, thanks for your curiosity'. One was similar to the lady in busstop you meet, I firmly told her you pick up only this topic, we should change the topic. In school, as well as other activities classes it's the same with Desis , curious and most of the time inconsiderate. So i started ignoring the wrong ones and made friends with good ones, the good ones are actually people with top niche jobs and degrees. Damn care pls. You know when I was working mom , I feel I had more 'me' time than being sham. It's 24/7 job. I too had opinion being sham was easy, after being sham I realized it's rather tough and tiring. So changed my opinion. Just ignore they aren't worth. Mean time pick up course on story telling, Montessori, or Kumon franchise, local academy to tutor kids. Where you can teach kids also take your kid with you.
What's your status? How much do you make/save? I am running out of diapers can I order diapers using your Amazon prime? When you go to Costco, can you take me? Why do you still working as a contractor? Why didn't you join fulltime? If you know the art of saying no/change the topic, there won't be an issue. I lack that skill and always felt messed up. As you said if any else asks the same questions, I may take it easy but nobody asked like this other than Desis.
Anika, do what makes you happy. Dont join work because thats the expectation of your neighbour Dont stay home because your relatives want you to be a SAHM to take care of the baby Do what works for you and what makes you happy. I have been both - working and SAHM These intruding desis are all over the globe - I live in Australia. They made my life hell. I had to move interstate due to DH's work and we lived in a suburb with so many aussies around - no more intrusion but honest and genuine neighbours who are ready to help and encourage. pains me to say that we Indians are very very nosy especially when we see a fellow desi in a foreign country. Tell your bustop friend "Hey why do we always talk about my job !! Lets talk about something else for a change"
