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When Rich Turns Poor & Vice Versa

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by Thyagarajan, Jun 13, 2019.

  1. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:When rich turns poor & vice versa:hello:

    I spotted the lady at the Laksmi stores.
    Wedding of her daughter is in the offing I know.

    She had come alone to do shopping!
    I stood with my spouse in adjacent Kanchipuram counter.
    I tried to focus what my spouse was inspecting after pickin up one from a heap.

    It was mail kzhuthu (neck of pea cock) blue.
    I disapproved by horizontal nod. I said she already wore similar blue with baby elephants in red border. She smiled softly acknowledging my “poor” memory.

    Eyes of spouse and the lady at next counter met. Both smiled exchanged greetings. My spouse enquired her of arrangements in progress for her daughter’s wedding.

    Back to their respective counters.

    I overheard the conversation at next counter.
    “ show something bit cheap. I want to gift to our domestic maid”
    She picked up a cheap saree and left.
    My spouse as usual turning the shop upside down and still could not choose any saree to her liking. Her birth day in the offing and

    I hope she might pick one by the time it passes.
    My legs began aching. I told spouse I would sit in the couch at a distance for a while while she is busy at her choice.

    I saw decently dressed domestic help “Manju” enquiring A sales man and proceeding to a counter where “the lady” I spotted earlier. My spouse still at the same spot, picked up a saree in each of her risen hand and gestured to come close.

    I was earshot of Manju while inspecting spouse’s selection.

    Seeing Manju in simple attire, the man at her counter picking up few cheap sarees from the lot in shelf and placed it over the table for her selection.

    She pushed aside all those, and told him that since she intends to gift a saree to the daughter in marriage of her employer, the saree should be decent, rich in looks and she wouldn’t mind paying more.

    Overhearing this, I was all aghast.

    A while before, Rich was trying to be poor and now her employee trying to be rich.
    Rich is poor and poor is rich!
     
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  2. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Shri Thyagarajan,
    There are many many instances of this type.The problem is ego or gaurava prasnai.
    After selecting a grand saree for the employer's daughter ,she may feel for the same or suffer due to paucity of funds for meeting both the ends meet.
    They spend a lot as gifts and expect others to give gifts in the same way.I have seen many availing of loans expecting this 'moi' panam. I have seen my servant grumbling whenever she receives invitation from anyone.
    Is it not better to spend within means than to long for false prestige.
    Recently I recd a copy of invitation,may be fake.
    There was a note at the end of the invitation.
    " kurippu:kadantha 30 aandugalil naan thangal illangalil palamurai anbalippum moyyum ezhuthi ullen.En kudumbaththil ithuve muthal visesham. veru visesham sameepaththil nadakka vaaippillai. enave thaangal ithuvarai petrukkonda seer, anbalippu, moi panam ellaavatrayum moththamaagath thiruppi alikka vendugiren."
    ( I have gifted in the form of articles/cash in many of your house hold function for the past 30 years. Now this is the first function in our house and there is no likelihood of any other function in the near future.You are requested to to re gift equivalent of whatever i have given so long".
    The remarks may be fake. But it denotes the heavy heart with which gifts are made by certain people under pressure, peer pressure just for prestige sake.
    I don't think that there is real large heartedness in a class 1v employee giving a costly saree to the employer's daughter .Is it not better to spend within means?

    There seems to be no question of poor becoming rich and rich becoming poor. One spends according to the budget she has prepared and according to allotment of funds.The other is just showing off and suffers in the end.
    I have seen many gifting the same type of silk saree which she presents to her close relatives ,to the servants also.
    jayasala 42
     
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  3. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Rich lady buying an appropriate "daily-use" wear for a servant maid seems appropriate. This has nothing to do with Rich behaving miserly.
    The poor lady trying to show off at a considerable cost is not a Rich thing, but a sad thing. @jayasala42 points this out nicely.

    In many oriental cultures, there is a grapevine advisory about the red coloured money envelope. Guests who had planned to go to the wedding would know other invitees and they talk among themselves to guess the number of guests (venue capacity is the major data for this guess) and how much money the parents might have spent for the wedding. Divide the total spent by the number of guests to estimate how much money to put into the red money envelope. For guests, weddings might end up costing from somewhere around US$600 to US$1000 per couple. On the positive side, no need to waste time in shopping for a saree or some other item. Who gave how much is not announced to anyone else.
     
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  4. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    "Who gave how much is not announced to anyone else."
    In olden days there was a custom
    "othi koduththal"-Announce and give.Every one will be eagerly waiting to listen to the name of the person, value of gift etc. miserly etc etc remarks will be passed in the marraige pandal itself to the embarassment of many.
    If the money spent is shared by the guests, it will be a huge sum.Is it not better to conduct a simple wedding suited to the means, than to go in for a big venue .
    The return gift has become a multi million dollar business in US I believe.As much is preached about simplicity, the more is the glammour adopted by the rich to be followed by the not so sound parties also.
    When are we going to learn this?
    I would like to share my article published in The Open Page Hindu in Feb2011

    Pomp and show to the fore, blood and sweat beneath - The Hindu
     
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  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    I agree madam sister.
    The world revolves around this axis.
    FALSE PRESTIGE HIGH LIVING SIMPLE THINKING LIFE DOOMED. Madam sister, I agree with you again.
    God bestows blessings to simple Bhakthi no need for splurge.
     
  6. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Returning a gift back to the store where it was bought is a practice in the USA. Quite often gift givers might also include the receipt, because many stores would require their store's receipt to honor a return. The receiver of the gift would also know where to return it, and get the money back.
    Recently when Trump went to UK, and the queen gave him a book ( he is an avowed non-reader). TV comedians reported that saying that Trump asked Lizzie for the store-receipt for that gift (a first edition book written by Churchill soon after world war 2 ).
     
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  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:love your angle to analysis. Yes daily use must have been uppermost in her mind.
    Rest of inputs in your FBs as has always been, very informative. Thanks for enriching the thread.
    God bless all those invitees who come with and without gifts.
     
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  8. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    So why can't they simply give money instead of gift? Moi in $$$ #justhinking
     
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  9. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    I was confused with this moi when I saw it earlier. When I checked online dictionary, the confusion increased. :frown::facepalm:
    moi
    /mwɑː/
    exclamation
    HUMOROUS
    1. me (used in questions when accused of something that one knows one is guilty of).
      "sarcastic, moi?"
    And then I got help from someone else who reminded me that it is a Tamil word for money-gift at weddings. My Tamil knowledge is shaky!! Adding Tamil-wedding to google search got me an interesting story: A software to keep away ‘moi’ fights
    ----------------------​

    Returning gifts to stores to get money back is done for Christmas and Birthday gifts. So much so that many in UK believe the modern day notion that "Boxing Day" (the day after christmas) is the day to re-box the open gifts from the previous day, and take them back to the stores to return and get a refund.
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2019
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  10. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Coming to MOI - you haven't heard stories where the bride and groom family fight because of moi . - who should get how much.
    Reading the above article I was reminded yes it's a common practice to write down the amount in a diary /book.
    My dad has done that. And I ask him why on earth are you noting that down. He said to return that amount to them when they invite us for wedding. :facepalm:
    It's a very common practice to do that.
     
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