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Any Single Women Who Have Adopted Or In The Process?

Discussion in 'Adoption' started by pocahontas, Jan 2, 2019.

  1. pocahontas

    pocahontas Gold IL'ite

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    I am a 35 year old Indian woman (single) and I am looking to adopt. I have been wanting to adopt for over fifteen years now.
    I always “knew” I would have a child biologically and then an adopted child. I haven’t met anyone that I did like to marry so far but I have thinking about adopting. I would be adopting from India and I am aware of the age restrictions as well and the time it takes. Ideally I would like to adopt a baby/toddler less than two years of age from India ( Tamil Nadu). I am thinking of moving back to India to facilitate this. Professionally I am successful and I can manage this financially. I will need to cut down the hours I work and opt for less travel - both of which are possible. Family wise, I haven’t discussed this with my parents or sister - I don’t think my parents will be too happy about this. But think they will come around.

    I would like to hear about other single ladies in this process or who have adopted. And am I missing out on something - something that I have not thought through. Which may require a mitigation plan.? Or why this will not work out?

    I also want to get married and I realize having a child brings down my rating in the marriage market. But then, it’s not been great to start with so that’s ok!
     
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  2. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    @pocahontas ,

    Just do whatever feels right for you, don't postpone one for the other. I have realised how futile is this way of planning.

    Personally, I don't know anyone who is single and has adopted. Actress Sushmita Sen is unmarried and has 2 adoptive daughters. Actress Raveena Tondon also had 2 adopted daughters before marriage and she later had her own kids too.

    If you are not in India and if you are financially stable, you can easily raise your adopted child. At the right time, you will also meet the right guy and everything should work out fine too.

    From whatever little I know, as you near your 40s, the Adoption agencies dissuade you from adopting very small kids and advise you to adopt a slightly older kid ie., around 4-5 years old.

    Hope this information is of some use to you.
     
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  3. pocahontas

    pocahontas Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you @GeetaKashyap! I thought I would receive a lot of flak on this forum to even think about adoption while being unmarried and bring in a child when there is no father involved/ only one parent.
    I am planning to discuss this with my family soon and meet an attorney to discuss my options shortly.
     
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  4. Brevity

    Brevity Gold IL'ite

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    I know of a single doctor in chennai who adopted a baby girl. She is doing a wonderful job of raising her daughter who is around 12 now.
    Sorry, I do not know about the process involved, but it has been done in the past by non-celebrities.
     
  5. pocahontas

    pocahontas Gold IL'ite

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    @Brevity, do you know her personally - would it be possible to give me an introduction. I know the rules/processes have changed but would love to speak with someone who has been there/ done that.
     
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  6. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    shravs3, GeetaKashyap and pocahontas like this.
  7. pocahontas

    pocahontas Gold IL'ite

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  8. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Pocahontas,

    Around 4 months back I have attended a counseling session for adopttion through an organization called Padme which has counseling centres in Bangalore as well as Chennai .
    All adoptions now happen through CARA. However Padme is a guiding agency who can guide you through the procedures and present a realistic picture about the process through a counseling. If you are abroad you can request them for a session through Skype. The first counseling session they didn't charge me . Do look for them in google. If you don't find it let me know I shall pass on one of the counselor's number whom I met ,through a message to you.
    Good luck with the process. :)

    Regards,
    Anusha.
     
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  9. GlobetrotterG

    GlobetrotterG Silver IL'ite

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    Actionable Information provided by @Shanvy, @Anusha2917 above :) In the recent years there is lot of awareness created by govt on following a process for adoption (And very recently on adoptiong children with special needs)
     
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  10. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I know a couple of single mothers, with adopted children. And they all are unmarried too.
    They are very successful in raising their children on their own, and of course with the help of their parents/relatives and domestic helpers as they are working mothers.
    There hasn't been any awkwardness with their decisions either. Many people appreciated them, and wondered how they love these kids, and how lucky these kids are to be blessed with such a peaceful home.
    Having no father figure from the beginning isn't that much a problem, but giving these kids a father can be an option too.
    One of them got married when her kid was around 8, and that kiddo was told this is his actual father, and he stayed in abroad all these while. Not sure whether he knows the full story or not. But the kid and father get along well. She also delivered a young kid recently and it did not shake their family dynamics at all.

    And I know of a single father, who adopted a boy child. He is unmarried too.

    So, dont worry
     

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