Dinner, Lunch Invite Trouble - Holiday Time

@Vedhavalli, as @Amica said this is not a trivial thing. It reminds me of the time from about 1-1.5 decades ago when I was more active on the call-people-home front. Text costed money and no whatsapp yet, so communication was by landline and email.

I had two or three friends (not any more) who had a stock response each time I called them: "So far it is a yes, will keep you posted." I could imagine them looking at their calendar as we spoke on the phone. Once I gathered enough dhairyam (courage) and with just the right smile and laughter in my tone, asked back, "So my invite is a Plan B that will get upgraded to Plan A if something better doesn't turn up?"

The friend was at a loss for words and after a few embarrassed half-laughs and hem/haw's the call ended. I used to recount these to pati dev over dinner. He set me right about it: "Have some pride. She is keeping you hanging like a spoilt-brat in high school keeps the boys guessing who will go to prom with her."

Sorry got distracted into recalling my own kathas. : )

In your case, you may want to respond back tactfully since you don't want to lose the friendship over this. Some people are like this when it comes to responding but otherwise they are OK. When you issue an invitation, include a "let me know by date" in the first chat/call itself. The day after that deadline send a message saying, 'Hey haven't heard from you. Was hoping we could get together. I'll ping you again in Jan-end."

The key is to have a clear deadline in the first invite. No reminders as that makes you look desperate. Reminder to a group of people is fine, not 1-1.

Such friends are not worth meeting too often. Once a year is good enough.

All that being said, families now-a-days are more informal about invitations to casual friends. People tend to more make plans for the weekend on Fri or Sat only. Best is to invite minimum 4 families, so that no-show's are fine.

If anyone invites just our family for dinner, I consider it a huge honor, and make sure the hostess knows how much I appreciate it. And also, why I cannot call just them as often.

Phew.. I am glad those years are behind us. Now, it is mostly adults only dinners, at the latest fine restaurant the ever-reliable Yelp gives us. Kids start asking from 4pm itself, "When are you going?" : )

 

You are making yummy food in your instapot and inviting families one at a time over the holidays? Girl, make me your friend no?

You are being such a good host. It's honestly their loss. The 2-3 women who didn't respond will eventually respond. If I were you, I would respond back saying since I didn't hear from you, I changed plans. Sorry, let us do this in Feb!