Help For A Friend With Marital Issues

This post is for a friend ( with her permission of course).
A happy spirited 40 yr old woman married for 15 years ( arranged). Intimacy had always been a issue and she almost called off the wedding because the fiancé had issues with appearing aloof etc. She thinks she was too optimistic and cheerful and in love to cancel the wedding.
Barring the intimacy issues married life had been pretty good. Her husband is a understanding, mature and overall good natured man is what she still thinks. Confronting the issues had however not yielded any answers and the only response was that he is shy. No kids because of obvious problems.
She had accepted things and life was going along fine up until a little while ago.

Her husband was never the kind to get gifts etc ( the few gifts were after she had asked for them.) Her last birthday went by as usual with no effort from the husband and I think that’s when it hit her that she had rose tinted glasses for too long. It’s not the gifts but the overall feeling of being wanted and special. She feels shattered, confused because she realizes she will never know what a normal marriage feels like. She says she never felt like a woman rather a friend in this marriage.

Separation is not a option at least right now for her because of finances and the fact that she thinks getting married again in her 40’s will not be easy.
She says she feels extremely sad ( not angry) . She is not looking for suggestions on separation but how to handle this better. Any advice from people in similar situations would help.
I am at a loss on what to tell her . She is a wonderful person and it hurts to see someone so optimistic suddenly break down.
Thanks in advance !

 

Rihana, she lives and works in India . Her family or his have no clue. Her parents have their own issues and she did/ does not think they could help. She has a strained relationship with her in laws partially because of not having kids. I am probably the only one that knows about this recently .

 

Jamelia, thank you for your response. They have not tried counseling. Any attempts to discuss the issue were met with silence it seems . I agree with you . There is a world of difference between being a good human and a good husband. I wonder if she realizes that now. I really like your suggestion of staying away temporarily at least. Will let her know.

 

Laks09, thank you for your response. You hit the nail on the head. This is a loss and she is definitely greiving . I think her grief is for the loss of “ love” that she felt for her husband all these years. I hope the acceptance sets in sooner than later.