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Relationship Hijack And Banter

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Sep 17, 2018.

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  1. silentlistener

    silentlistener Silver IL'ite

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    Sounds a very happy possibility. Really don't know why this possibility has not occurred in her mind so far ! I will speak to her and let you know her reactions.
     
  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    She lost to Trump. Was out of the campaigning picture in the mid-terms. That is how "popular" she became. She did what was best for her and them as a couple.

    WTH!!! Leaving husband who erred makes a woman "a very ordinary woman"????? "Like any other woman?"

    No, silentlistener. No choice is easy. No choice is something "anyone can do."

    Instead of putting those who stay on in the marriage on a pedestal, and instead of vilifying those who choose to leave the marriage, how about simply respecting the choice the man or woman makes when faced with such a difficult life situation
     
  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Is there a statutes of limitations on when one can finally burst out and scream on resentments carried forward over decades?
    Haven't been able to get past some that prick so bad...but seems so pointless to bring up now.

    I should have dealt with those when the time was right. My fault for wanting peace over peace of mind.
    Now they are too old ....I am told.....let it go ....I am told.

    Just a vent.
     
  4. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Resentment and peace of mind do not sync well.

    If you resent something, there wont be any peace of mind. If you feel peace within, then it means you have let go of the resentment.

    Possibly, you can resent for something, but keep it under the cover, so that you can pretend to be peaceful. That's awful.
     
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  5. Deborah

    Deborah Gold IL'ite

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    The decision your friend made 17!years ago must have needed a lot of courage and inner conviction. In your own words, she tried to live with what her Spouse had done but couldn't move past the bitterness ( totally understandable). Now , whether he turned out to be a good father or never remarried , doesn't erase the hurt he had already caused her. Although they never divorced legally ( another reason as to why the spouse didn't get married again) , but do we know for sure he didn't have any more liasions. May be he went on to have more affairs which your friend know nothing of . She is just repenting her decision because the spouse takes care of the son . Well, isn't that expected of a father ? He just did what he was supposed to do whether he stayed single or got remarried .
    The decision she took must have been a result of many sleepless nights and inner tug- war . She shouldn't repent it , my two cents. She doesn't know what exactly her spouse has been upto the last 17 years.Her spouse isn't a very noble soul by being there for their child. He is just doing his fatherly duties.The most she can do is be on amicable terms with him which I am sure she already must be.
     
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  6. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you Rihana! I was going to reply to this but glad you did ! Leaving or staying when there is infidelity in a marriage both take equal guts . No choice is ordinary !
     
  7. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I salute to you @Rakhii for the brave and honest response.

    Look down on you for what?
    For being happy in a peaceful and more settled life?
    I know that it takes courage to leave a marriage, leave a cheating partner. But it takes supper courage to accept, forgive and change him to be the right partner to lead a happy marriage on your terms.
    You are more courageous than the average.
    People might look down on your if your H continues cheating, and if you continue to tolerate it... and therefore dying inside everyday.
    But in your case, you have changed him to a new person, and started your marriage all over again, and are happy.


    Very true. This morality thing is a bit too much.
    As we are human, we should be a little softer on us.
     
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  8. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    @Rihana, I, too, would like to get rid of our formal dining table. It's too big and too pricey to dump or donate. How did you do it? Any advice would be welcomed with gratitude.
    .
     
  9. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Did the thread about sitting at a table come out of the other thread where the OP was spoken by the Dining Table :wink1: ?:
    Padmasana ? That would be tough; no need for that while eating. The usual sitting posture is Sukhasana, i.e., the easy sitting pose.

    The individual small stools for the dinner plates, widened to something that in modern day we call a "coffee table". A table with short legs that more than one may sit around it for a meal and chat. This kind of table with short legs, both individual and group, was popular in the orient.

    Egyptians had invented the chair, the four legged thing with a back-rest; however, the Chinese had got by, by designing/digging a hole under the squat table that was in common use, so that people could sit at the table, without having to fold their legs. They could dangle their legs, as if sitting in a chair. The back-rest came later, as a separate, optional piece of furniture in such seating arrangements.
    [​IMG]
     
  10. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Amulet,
    I agree Padmanasana is a difficult posture. Who else and why not ? At a stage in my life when knees would not bend and back would not get straight even Sukhasana is difficult. I attended a Sadhana Sivir at DLS in Rishikesh and in addition to the various things the saint and sages said, I liked the permission to sit in Sukhasana, the most, which in my case was sitting on a chair. I did not however like sitting at a level higher than the preacher but then one has to make so many compromises in life.
    As for that small stool, it is just a word for 'Patada' in Hindi. Family of my brother in law still still in a 'Palthi' posture for meals at their home. For guests they do have a dinig set. The best part is they sit on the dinning chairs also in the same posture when invited at a home with a dinig table.
    Then there are people who do not talk at all when taking their food. They talk in sign language. I have a very good joke on this but that for some other day.
    The bottom line is food should be taken as a religious ritual. The smell, taste, visual, touch and of course the divine feeling are the true ingredients of a satisfying meal. This is also true about cooking also.
     
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