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Navarathri Diary 2018!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by meenasankaran, Oct 18, 2018.

  1. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    We are halfway through yet another vibrant Navarathri season in our town. Armed with spreadsheets that catalogue our golu invites, which is further cross-referenced by whatsapp and text reminders, we Desi women have been marching out early each day this past week with a single-minded determination to conquer the invitation list at least this year. Everyone knows that it is a losing game because 18 golu visits a day is just outside of insane city, but we do have fun trying.

    Amidst the many joys of the season, one ailment continues to plague the golu-hoppers of our town this year too – severe gas trouble. Obviously, our intestines are not meant to process peanut, garbanzo, vatana, moong and green pea lentils, all in the same evening but when offered with so much love at each golu, what can one do except eat and burp? Sometimes you just have to take one for a friend.

    It is not a big problem for me though. Just to avoid this kind of rude shock to my system, I try to stay bloated through the entire year but for the general population who are on a strict ‘air and water only’ diet, suddenly turning into a birthday balloon must be very scary. Well, here is how I handled it recently. After the 4th plate of sundal one evening early this week, I found myself at a risk of exploding. Hyperventilation induced by the stress of an impending wardrobe malfunction actually saved the day. Who knew that taking shallow breaths would help to keep your blouse from popping its buttons!

    Thanks to my recent India trip, I am going around town this Navarathri season in bright-colored sarees and completely mismatched blouses. Apparently, contrast is all the rage these days. This new fashion is a god-send because none of the matching blouses fit me anymore.

    Trying to go with the latest fashion hurt me in the accessories department though. Heeding to the advice of many well-meaning friends, I took a beautiful, embroidered bag with me on the golu rounds 2 days ago instead of my regular plain black handbag. It looked great. Everyone said so but big mistake! That miniscule, cute bag could fit only 3 almonds, half of a phone and 1 clementine. Where am I supposed to keep my key bunch, sunglasses, wallet, tissues, emergency biscuit packet, trail mix snack packet, water bottle and travel size advil? My black handbag might not be great to look at, I admit, but it can house the entire universe, if necessary.Fashion, my foot!

    I saw planning at its best when I saw a friend bringing 2 big sack-like cloth bags with her to cart back all the tambulam bags of the evening. Wow! If she ever wanted to rob the US Treasury of all its gold, these 2 bags should do the trick. Very smart indeed. Inspired by her, I put a couple of cardboard boxes in my van to hoard my collections. A bit unsophisticated yes but it served its purpose.

    One thing that was new this season was that golu hostesses decided to liven up their golus by offering interesting quizzes to the visitors. What is the new doll in our golu this year?Can you tell what this sweet is made of? As someone with a very diminished sense of smell and a non-existent memory, I am set up for failure in these kinds of exams. Luckily, only a few threatened to hold back their sundal for not giving correct answers. Most of the hostesses were kind enough to give me my consolation goody bag just for participation.

    This Navarathri season has seen some of the most imaginative carpool arrangements ever arranged by anyone. 2 days ago, I overheard a conversation while waiting for my cup of payasam at a golu. Anu and Geetha were planning to pick up Latha, hit Kamala’s golu, then go pick up Sudha.Then all were to go hit 5 houses together after which Geetha had plans to swap to another van to continue her round of golus with another set of friends and then wanted Anu to pick her up at Bhavani’s house to go to the next 7 houses on their common list. NASA should take pointers from this group for the next space mission. Brilliant minds such as these are being overlooked everyday.

    How is your Navarathri going so far?
     
    kkrish, lotuskirtana, AnooSA and 18 others like this.
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  2. nandinimithun

    nandinimithun IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @meenasankaran
    That was both an interesting and a hilarious take on the navratri....
    My navratri is going good so far, guess i need to write about that too, you have given an idea and inspired me....
    Thank you
     
  3. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    Hahaha, Love this humorous write up on Navratri! Spot-on about everything. Great job, @meenasankaran
     
  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    Hi Meena,

    Such a pleasure always to read your snippet filled with so much humor. It made me laugh so much at 6 a.m. in the morning making my day brighter.

    With this kind of detailed arrangement for the logistics, you are competing directly with the top management of FedEx and UPS. Is there an app available to track the nearest next invite location?

    In a space mission, everyone focus only on the payload and all other fuel gets used up and discarded systematically as per plan. May be Navarathri women needs to learn a little bit of lesson from NASA.

    Unfortunately, the home for the soul doesn't have any windows to open to let the smoke go out, if any malfunction creates smoke.

    Soon you will have the major fashion designers in LA and New York are going to line up in front of your home here in the US.

    Poor Meena. The bags unfortunately don't carry more than their installed capacity. Get back to your black bag and I like your cardboard box idea in the car so much as well.

    This is for Mamis who have passed 70 years of age to avoid dementia and not for young women like Meena.

    Kind hostesses. They must be watching a lot of TV shows and decided to give consolation goodies just for participation.

    You need to consult @Gauri03 to automate and use Machine Learning and Artificial Intelligence to work out these logistics. She is the best in converting Meta Data into meaningful management data.

    Have fun in India. Please remember food products are not allowed at the customs. Especially, if any of these Sundals have coconut in it, the customs will smell it after you alight from the plane. Be careful! :roflmao:

    Viswa
     
    Gauri03 likes this.
  5. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear @nandinimithun ,

    Glad to hear that your Navarathri is going well too. This is my favorite time of the year. The energy of Dasara is so infectious that it makes even a lazy lizzy like me to dress up and go out to socialize. :D Thanks for stopping by Nandini.
     
  6. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you @BhumiBabe. And what a fun name you have. :clap2:

    Wish I had chosen a cool name like yours too. Like MilagaaibhajjiMeena or MittaaiMeena or MaangaaiMeena - something like that. As food and I go hand in hand, I figure any name I choose should reflect that too. :D:D:D

    Thanks for stopping by BhumiBabe. :)
     
  7. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Viswa sir,

    I am sure you have seen your share of Navarathri galaatta in the US. As a member of the ignored species during this 9 day period (my DH makes it a point to tell me this everyday of Dasara:grinning:), I am sure you too, would have had to silently (or not so silently) suffer the aftermath of the overindulgence of overly cooked sundal this week.

    //Unfortunately, the home for the soul doesn't have any windows to open to let the smoke go out, if any malfunction creates smoke.//

    Ha ha ha....ain't that the truth? So very delicately phrased too. Love it. :clapclap:

    And yes, after 1 day of carrying around the pitifully small purse that is cleverly disguised as a bag, I went back to my big and ugly black bag. This bag is magic. You can put your hand in there and wish for something and voila, it'll be there. :smile::smile:

    It's lovely to come back to Snippets and meet you all after a long time. I don't write as much these days due to lack of time and other commitments but glad I took the time this week. Thank you Viswa sir. :)
     
    Viswamitra likes this.
  8. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I doubt Meena and her friends need my help Viswa. The Golu Visitor Problem (GVP) is an NP-hard problem and these ladies seem to be mentally approximating solutions over sundal and coffee. They are masters of combinatorial optimization. I think we are ways away from an AI that can mimic the clever cogitations of the seasoned golu-hopper. :worship2:

    @meenasankaran As always loved your write up! You have a gift for extracting the absurd from the mundane and making your readers chuckle and nod in affirmation as they read along.
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2018
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  9. HazelPup

    HazelPup Platinum IL'ite

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    Ha ha that was a nice writeup on golu hopping. Enjoyed reading. I wait for this festive season and enjoy the most though its really a busy period of time. Somehow I am reminded of Halloween nights but wearing beautiful attire we golu-hop
     
    Viswamitra likes this.
  10. Sweetee

    Sweetee Senior IL'ite

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