Should Your Spouse's Enemy Aslo Be Your Enemy ?

I would be disappointed and feeling sad to be honest.
And definitely I will have a heart to heart chat with my H to let him know how sad I feel about this.
Sometimes, men need to be told explicitly.

Even if the other person is his parents or siblings, I would still let him know of my feelings.
I wouldn't want him to cut off the relationship for me. Even I wouldn't be able to do that if the other party is my parents or siblings wholeheartedly.
But the understanding matters.
If I think my parents are being unreasonable and making my H unhappy by whatever it may be.. I would make a point to stay away from them (means limiting my contacts), so that they understand it hurts me as well.
I would expect the same from my H too.
And thankfully my H had proved a lot till today by staying away from his folks (not necessarily cutting off the contact though), to tell them loud that it is not accepted to hurt his wife, and expect love from him...

 

What if the enemy is someone in spouse family ?
How often do the guys follow this?

As for me...if it someone in friend circle or distant family,then I offer 100% loyalty.

If it is my close family,then it is conditional on his support on similar occasions ( which are far more ).

 

I have the same issue.
Most guys don't follow this

 

ok..so this is bit tricky. see above

 

Hi friendabc,
My SIL is not in talking terms with me but my husband talks with her. When I argue about this, he says As she is his sister he is talking to her which he cannot avoid. however he is not talking on regular basis. Whenever his father reminds him to talk to her then only he calls her or when he calls his dad and if she is with him, he will talk. Also he says he never forced me to talk to her. He agrees that she behaved bad and insulted me. But he cannot completely avoid her. I dont argue anymore but still has the pain.

 

Thank you for tagging me !
I grew up in a family where everyone was judged, everything was black and white . Specially one extended family member was portrayed to be the most horrible person ever. I believed it was true. As I grew older and more mature I realized my family was wrong about this person and some others that they did not like. So now I use my judgement and am cordial to some that my family does not consider nice . They are not happy but I want to do the right thing.

With spouse I do not think he would mind if I was cordial to someone he does not like and vice versa . I have not liked one of his friends but am ok with him maintaining contact with this person. As far as I am not subjected to his company
I am realizing in today’s world people can really fake being nice to others and then talk bad behind their backs. I do not want to resort to that. Someone that I do not like will get less of my attention .. The only people that I truly dislike are those that are abusive to women and children. Rest I can tolerate.

 

In this day and age, I don't thin there can really be enemies! I mean if someone outright is insulting or something, I would probably generally avoid their company, not particularly because they were mean to my husband, but in general for just being someone who would say insulting things to anyone. So if someone said really mean and vicious things to my friend or sibling or mom or dad, whomever, I would avoid them since they just won't come across to me as a good person in general.

Now other times, when my husband just in general grumbles about someone he doesn't like or avoid because he can't agree with them on something, while I don't have such issues with them and he asks me not to be friends with them, I will ask him to take a hike!! I think we both can be mature and have individual friends for ourselves.

 

If it’s me I avoid or talk very less cos I feel I need to be loyal to my hubby.
My hubby will still talk tho he says we need to maintain the relation can’t make enemies out of everyone and stop talking to everyone.

This happened with our friends though. Not relatives.

 

Actually I will continue my friendship until I feel uncomfortable about the relationship. Not everything in my life has to revolve around my husband. I have a life and mind of my own. I will wish the same for my husband .