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Car-mania

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by GeetaKashyap, Feb 3, 2018.

  1. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    (This fiction is a humorous take on a real-life event. All characters are imaginary and they represent the cosmopolitan character of Mumbai. No offence is meant towards any community.)




    Ashok Rao had made an impromptu program to travel to Bengaluru, to take care of his ailing mother and he was busy with the last minute packing. His wife, Seema was rushing around gathering all the essentials for his comfortable stay at Bengaluru. She had to be meticulous as his programme was tentative; it could range from a few days to a couple of weeks. Amidst all these, a bigger problem was worrying the couple and that was, ‘Where to park the car safely?’

    Don’t raise your eyebrows or dismiss their concern as ‘Silly’… Only a Mumbaikar (or any guy living in a metro) can understand this type of a unique problem. Now let me explain…

    Raos stayed on the third floor of an old apartment in a middle-class locality of Goregaon, a western suburb of Mumbai. Their building was poorly maintained and it had a tough time facing monsoon fury year after year. Every year during the monsoon season, it was common to have the building walls and the roof leaking, fungus growing all over the building and the compound, and some plaster giving away at the wrong time injuring a passer-by or damaging the parked cars! In addition to all these, there was an acute shortage of parking space in their building. Whenever a parked car had to be taken out, all the other cars parked behind it had to be taken out and re-parked! Since Seema did not know to drive, the pressure was on Ashok to find a suitable place for parking their car. After a lot of discussions, he decided to park the car on the street. (Aren’t Mumbai streets meant more for parking, hawking and pedestrian walking, than real driving?) Once he finalised the place for parking the car, he purchased a reasonably good cover for his car as he was anxious that miscreants would scratch or damage his uncovered car on the street. Later in the middle of the night when the traffic was less, their car was suitably parked under the street light and it was covered with the car cover. Ashok, Seema and their son repeatedly checked their car and smiled with satisfaction.


    As all of you know, owning a car is still one of the strongest desires of a common man in India. The car is a symbol of status and luxury, and it has the potential to attract recognition and respect from the neighbours and friends. Sometimes, it may also turn friends into secret foes! We can easily borrow the Onida TV tagline- ‘Neighbours envy, Owner’s pride!’ No amount of your goodness or education has this capacity to attract recognition or respect. You are judged by the brand and the model of your car! I am sure all of you have experienced this and will agree with me. Then, don’t you think, the car, which can be your passport to recognition and respect, deserves enough of your tender loving care? I hope all your sympathies are with the Raos, as you now understand their situation better.

    The next morning, even before proceeding to the airport, Ashok still worried about the safety of his car. While leaving, instead of the regular words, “I love you; take care,” he said, “Keep an eye on the car…..and stay alert!”

    *************

    After Ashok left to the airport in an auto-rickshaw, Seema sank into the sofa as she was tired and irritated over the previous day and night’s activity. She just wanted to curl up and take a nap. Just as she settled, the doorbell rang. It was the car cleaner wondering where their car had disappeared! Seema discretely pointed towards their robed car on the street and in a hushed tone, she instructed him to just dust the car cover and report every day if everything was okay with the car. Having passed on some of her burdens, she sighed and checked the clock. It was already nearing7:30 am, she abandoned her plans to sleep and woke her son up before heading to the kitchen to ready his breakfast. Grudgingly the youngster shot out of the bed. He had to prove his worth during his father’s absence! After a quick bath and breakfast, he left for the college. Before that he took a ‘casual walk’ around their prized possession on the street and signalled from the road to his worried mother at the window, ‘All is well’, in a typical Amir Khan’s style!

    As the day passed, Seema suddenly realised the importance of their road facing flat. She could get a glimpse of their car from all the rooms of their flat! For once she could appreciate the location of their flat. Prior to this day she had always complained about the poor layout of their flat, the traffic noise and the dust!

    This way, a week passed by and with the routine, a kind of complacency had begun to set in. On the eighth day afternoon, as Seema stood by the window and watched the traffic on the road below, she noticed a man walking very close to their car and observing it! Then he moved away. He reappeared two minutes later and this time he touched and keenly observed their robed beauty and all through he was talking to someone on his mobile phone! Seema’s heart started pounding very fast. She wondered as to who he was? Why was he observing their car so closely? All of a sudden it dawned on her that he could be a car-thief making a note of his target! With whom was he talking? Could that person be the leader of car thieves’ gang? Seema tried to shout at him, but her vocal chords failed her. She quickly wiped her sweat, gulped a little water to moisten her dry throat and soothe her nerves. She was alarmed. Her mind immediately started working on the ways and means of protecting their car!

    Just then her friend Lata, from Kandivali, rang the doorbell. Taking control of her emotions, Seema opened the door. Looking at Seema’s pale face, Lata quizzed her with concern. Upon hearing about Seema’s apprehensions, Lata weighed all the options and suggested her to take the help of all the men in the building to protect the car. It was the most reassuring suggestion, concluded Seema.


    In no time, the two ladies called all their neighbours and as luck would have it, many of them were at home, at that hour. Along with their wives, Sodhibhai, Ketanbhai, Shukla uncle, Raghavanbhai, Saraf kaka, and Veljibhai pledged their support to protect the car and the fine-tuning of the master plan to catch the car thief began.

    *************

    As all the society members adjusted and sat in the cramped living room of Seema’s flat, Seema started describing the thief. She said that the thief was lean and muscled, and was roughly about 5’9” or 5’10” tall.

    “OHO!” The group acknowledged.

    Sodhibhai quizzed, “Was the thief fair or dark?”

    As Seema tried to recall, others concluded that the thief must have been dark. This made Raghavanbhai and Veljibhai very angry. Aggressively they argued against the colour prejudice in our country. They argued as to why the thief couldn’t be fair skinned? Being a statistician, Raghavanbhai provided statistics of crime rates in south vs. north India. Saraf kaka had to intervene and douse the anger. By then, Seema recalled the thief’s face and colour and she described him graphically, “He has a medium complexion and a curly mop of hair with some greys in between, which adds character to his face.”

    “Wow! Tall, dark, and handsome!” Mrs Sodhi aka Guddiji remarked, in excitement.

    Ignoring her comment, looking at the ceiling Seema tried to recall further details and she said, “The thief has a thick moustache and an unshaven beard, thick eyebrows, roundish nose and harsh eyes. His mouth is wide and menacing.”

    Hearing this, Guddiji wondered whether Seema had seen the thief from a distance or….? She nudged Leelaben, Ketanbhai’s wife and expressed all her thoughts through her eyes and a naughty smile.

    As Leelaben had always been looked down upon by Seema for the former’s lack of higher education, Leelaben did not want to lose the opportunity of embarrassing Seema. Unwilling to let the opportunity pass by, she asked, “Seemaben, You seem to have noticed him so thoroughly, by any chance, do you know the thief personally?”

    Seema turned red in anger and embarrassment and she also realised how graphic she had been in describing the thief. She looked pleadingly at Lata for support.

    Lata took the cue and commented with a stare at Leelaben,” Please, don’t try to get personal.”

    Ketanbhai hushed his wife but it hardly bothered her as she had said whatever she wanted to say and had successfully embarrassed Seema! With a winner’s smile, she settled back.

    Saraf kaka resumed the issue by enquiring about the thief’s dress.

    Seema said, “He wore a dark blue denim pant and a blue-green check shirt.”

    Now, Daxaben, that is Mrs Veljibhai, who moonlighted as a fashion designer frowned and remarked, “That is a good combination on a fair skinned chap, but for a dark-skinned fellow… a light blue denim pant and a sober-coloured check shirt would look far better. He could have paired his dark blue denim with any other light coloured shirt. We Indians have a poor dressing sense!”

    Guddiji nodded in agreement.

    Immediately, Veljibhai who ran a readymade garment shop commented, “Instead of a shirt, practically speaking, a tee-shirt would work much better for a thief.”



    Raghavanbhai joined the discussion with full gusto as he desperately wanted to impress others with his knowledge and he said, “You are right. The shirt can get caught anywhere and a dropped button can be a clue for the police to catch the thief!”

    “True, you are very right!” Others chorused.

    Shukla uncle, who had dozed off a little woke up to the commotion. He urged all to keep quiet and brought them back to the track. By then his mouth was dry (as he had slept with his mouth open) and he started coughing.

    Immediately Shukla aunty suggested, “How about a cup of garma-garam chai?”

    Everyone agreed with her suggestion. Not wanting to displease her neighbours, Seema rushed to the kitchen. Her hands were trembling and thoughts were racing. She wanted to protect their car and also protect herself from her husband’s rage. According to Saraf kaki’s suggestion, with chai, she also served biscuits and chaklis.

    Shukla aunty took a sip of the tea and frowned, “Seema, don’t you know that I am diabetic? How could you have forgotten?

    Using the opportunity, Guddiji started explaining to those who cared, “We Punjabis make thick milky tea at home. The Maharashtrian and Gujarati tea is no match for the milky tea of Punjab.”

    This made Saraf kaki and Daxaben angry. A deep discussion ensued on the ways and means of brewing a perfect cup of tea and its benefits. In the meantime, Seema produced a cup of sugarless tea and got the approval of Shukla aunty. Long after the chai session, the thief session restarted.

    Shukla aunty who actively participated till then suddenly dropped the first hurdle.

    “Shuklaji is a heart patient. This excitement won’t do him good.” She glared at her husband and signalled him. He gave a helpless shrug and meekly followed her out.

    Shuklas’ exit hardly mattered and the discussions continued with full gusto.

    As the sunlight faded and the street lights were lit, at once Veljibhai remembered that he had to rush to the hospital to meet a friend who had undergone an operation and he excused himself.

    Enthusiasm and excitement were still strong among the other members when they were joined by Seema’s teenaged son. Mrs Raghavan, who had just returned from her work also joined the meeting. Seema again got up to make the third round of chai. But Mrs Raghavan politely refused chai and instead requested for a cup of filter coffee. Immediately, Sodhibhai and Guddiji also expressed their wish to have coffee. Seema had to go into the kitchen once again to prepare filter coffee for all.

    After hearing all about the plans of the society’s members, Mrs Raghavan looked accusingly at her husband and started a discussion with him in Tamil. At the end of their conversation, they declared their inability to join ‘The Mission Thief’, as they had to attend an early morning puja at a temple in Matunga and then go to their respective offices. As they were a working couple everybody nodded and sympathised.


    Seema’s son offered to call his bunch of ‘strong’ friends from the college to catch the thief. But this offer was unanimously dismissed by all. This fouled the teenager’s mood and he lost interest in ‘The Mission Thief’.

    *************

    At last, the final action plan for ‘The Mission Thief’ shaped up. According to that, Seema and her son were to switch off all the lights in the house and observe their car from their window and as soon as they spotted the thief they were to phone Ketanbhai and Sodhibhai’s mobiles which were to be kept in the ‘silent and vibrator’ mode. From their respective flats, Daxaben was to keep an eye on the right end of the street and Guddiji on the left end of the street. Ketanbhai offered to hide behind the clothes dried in their first-floor balcony. Sodhibhai boldly offered to take a ‘discreet’ walk along the street.

    Wishing all the success for ‘The Mission Thief’, Lata left to catch 8:02(pm) train.

    Saraf kaka had to be excused as he had Arthritis and making even simple movements was a big deal for him. Moreover, he stayed in the backside flat, so the Sarafs were of no use for ‘The Mission Thief’.

    Soon after the dinner, everyone phoned one another instructing and reminding each other to charge mobiles and to keep them on in the ‘silent and vibrator’ mode. The excitement was evident.

    Here, you need to understand that rarely such situations come up in one’s jaded life. These are also the occasions that help the housing society members to build a good image in their housing society and then it could be used sometime in future, for some personal benefit. This is the way middle-class functions in our metros.

    *************

    After dinner, Seema wound up all her work for the day and sat by the window that offered her the best view of their car on the street. She started invoking all the Gods for their help and mercy. She silently questioned Ashok’s rationale behind keeping the car on the street. Mentally she argued with him and defended herself. All this excitement made her visit the washroom repeatedly. While she was in a world of her own, her son was lost on his mobile phone. He was busy shooting down enemies in the game, on his mobile phone. This was his way of releasing aggression.

    An hour later, Ketanbhai began to lose his patience. How long could he sit in the dark, behind the drying clothes in the balcony? Mosquitoes were feasting on him. Unable to control the itch (itches!) he quietly slipped into his bedroom and decided to wait there for the mobile to vibrate. His old parents, Leelaben and children were already asleep. Soon he was lost in a dream world of share market!

    Sodhibhai got tired of walking down the street and thought of easing himself behind some parked cars. But he was spotted by the patrolling police van and was taken to the Police station for questioning. Guddiji had to rush to the Police station with all kinds of identity cards to prove her husband's credentials and innocence. Their whole night was spent in the police station.

    While waiting for the thief to show up, all had slipped into their own worlds. Nobody saw the thief that night.

    **************

    Morning sun rays woke Seema and finding herself in a chair next to the window she realised that she had fallen asleep while keeping the vigil! Alarmed, she looked out for their car and it stood there, robed, as usual! She thought, “Oh! What a relief!” She did not forget to thank all the Gods and make ridiculous promises to them for guarding and protecting their car. She felt sorry for her son who had fallen asleep on the floor. Without disturbing him she went to the washroom.

    As the day began, everyone woke up and they were relieved to find Raos’ car still on the street. Everyone met Seema and expressed their relief. However, Sodhibhai and Guddiji appeared grumpy. When prodded they said that they had tried to call the ‘awake’ society members several times at night from the police station, for help. Nobody had responded to their call. Everyone had fallen asleep keeping their mobile phones in a ‘silent mode’! All were embarrassed and they looked around for excuses. Sodhis, who had the worst experience, were in no mood to forgive any of them.

    At around 11: 30 am the doorbell rang. Seema was shocked but also relieved to see her husband at the door. As he entered the house he yelled, “I had phoned you several times yesterday night, where were you? As always our son’s phone must have been in silent mode. Getting no response from both of you I was worried. I had called a couple of our neighbours also and even they did not respond. Fearing something worst, I took the early morning flight and landed here. Is everything okay?”

    Seema was very embarrassed. In their evening excitement, she had totally forgotten to check her silent phone and also the night vigil of the society members had failed collectively! Nervously, Seema explained the previous day’s episode to Ashok.

    Upon hearing the episode halfway through, Ashok thundered, “Hey! Don’t you remember that mechanic of ours? As per my instructions, yesterday he was here to check if everything was okay with our car and he was reporting to me as he checked the car. How could you have cooked up such a story and inconvenience the society members? Before telling anyone, did you not realise that you should have told me about it? It is all so absurd and embarrassing!”

    Seema was now melting in shame. Her good intentions of not bothering her husband had backfired. She repeatedly cursed her over-active imagination. She had allowed her imagination to run really wild this time!

    *******END*******

    ********************************************************************************
     
  2. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    You captured the spirit of MumbaiCars well ! Enjoyed reading it and brought back some memories !
     
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  3. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    I am glad you liked this semi-fiction. Thanks for the first comment.
     
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  4. Sunburst

    Sunburst Platinum IL'ite

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    Good one @GeetaKashyap . I sometimes do miss this informal setting where everyone gets together over chai pe charcha although I would never make so many rounds of chai / coffee . Thoroughly enjoyed this . What a comedy circus this is !!
     
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  5. amunique

    amunique Gold IL'ite

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    nice write up!!
     
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  6. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    @Sunburst

    Nice that you could relate to this story. Meetings at home invariably demand such circus. Lately people have become smarter, they avoid inviting people home and prefer to carry on discussions outside!
     
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  7. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    @amunique

    Thanks for liking the story.:)
     
  8. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    @GeetaKashyap Geeta enjoyed your story .Loved the style of narration
     
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  9. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you @periamma , for your kind and encouraging words.
     
  10. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    :roflmao:
    That was hilarious.
    Poor Seema, had to make cups and cups of coffee.
    Mmmm.. could Seema be Geeta by any chance? :thinking:

    It happens to all of us wives right? We try hard to be proactive and impress our husbands only to find out that husband had gone one step further. I have gone through so many such embarrassments:facepalm:
     
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