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Shiva’s Blessings Are Aplenty, Miracles Upon Miracles!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by MarieParvati, Jul 13, 2017.

  1. Pri25080

    Pri25080 Bronze IL'ite

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    @MarieParvati
    Hi !How are you? Thanks for including me in your prayers. I want to share something about my self.I got married in 2015.It was love cum arranged .I got pregnant immediately after marriage. But then I was diagnosed with multiple fibroids and the baby didn't grow after two months. I had open myomectomy and D nC in India,as I live in Africa with my husband after marriage and here there is not much medical advancement.
    Then I was on complete bed rest for few months.We started trying to get pregnant from few months.But just like you every month I had false pregnancies. Today I got AF.I am really sad,hopeless, depressed. Earlier I use to be bubbly,chirpy, lively girl.But now I am sad all the time thinking about baby. My husband is worried about my mental health also.There is pressure from my relatives and every where. I don't have patience. Sometimes I want to end my life also.However, I deeply believe in Shiva and Nèem karoli Baba.At this point of time I don't want to talk to anybody. Nobody among my friends can understand my pain as they haven't gone through so much.and I wish they never go through bad phase. But they preach a lot .
    Last year I had all scans and tests performed in India. She told me everything ishe fine except for there is very small fibroid in the wall of uterus. And this should not cause any problem. Actually I live in Africa and as such there is no advanced medical facilities. My husband can't get leaves for more than two weeks.I don't know my life is stuck. I am hoping for miracles. I don't want to cry all the time.Every month I gather courage again to think positive about the coming month.Sorry for the long post.I want to get pregnant naturally.I hope God is going to listen to our prayers. May baba bless you. Wishing you healthy and happy pregnancy .
    Om Namah Shivay. Jai neem karoli baba.
     
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  2. SCSusila

    SCSusila Gold IL'ite

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    Congratulations .
    It is your deep faith that has produced the miracle ! God is always within us and support us .
    Best Wishes .
     
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  3. MarieParvati

    MarieParvati Senior IL'ite

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    Hello ! Sorry for the delays in responding you. We are busy moving to a new house and I really wanted to take the time to answer you, as you have so deeply shared with me, it's only appropriate for me to really take the time.
    First, thank you so much for being so open and sharing so much of your pains this way, in so much honesty. It is something to treasure about yourself and cultivate as it is not so common of a quality.

    I am so sorry to hear how much you went through and are still going through to achieve your dreams. I can only understand and I admire you for the perseverance you've already shown. I myself thought I was going crazy a few times, thinking I'm pregnant every month when I wasn't only to be depressed a bit more everytime I discovered I had fooled myself. I too could not imagine my life without a baby. I didn't have as many medical set backs as you besides my miscarriage and I can only hope that it will be easier for you now that the surgery has been done to remove your fibroids. I did think about you a lot and will continue to do so in my prayers, just because I feel for you even though I don't know you.

    I have the chance to have a very understanding husband I could share all my thoughts with and he is the only one that was there when I was losing it. My relatives were not as pressuring as yours sound but they were definitely preachy. When I miscarried my mother, had told me it was my fault for losing the baby and it marked my psyche a lot. I was constantly blaming myself.

    Our miracle happened after a very long meditation, the journey that led there was also really painful, my husband and I both confronted our inner demons, my husband spent three years meditating on Shiva's name through his work also and through lots and lots of sharing together. I had a lot to confront in regards to how I defined motherhood, womanhood, femininity, self worth etc... We digged really deep in our subconscious, we unknowingly worked at the destruction of our own egos, unknowingly getting ready to be parents one day when we would understand ourselves and each other as one. I don't know what Lord Shiva has planned for you, I do hope you get all that your heart desire, because I truly understand... I hope you can share your emotional burdens with your husband so you can feel Ardhanarishvara, the form of God that is one between male and female, Lord Shiva and Parvati. Because for me personally the blessing was not only to have a miracle child, it was to realize how true Shivshakti is in my own marriage. For that oneness we had to and have to truly share, in absolute truth with one another.

    Don't lose hope, and don't hesitate to talk with your husband about your deeper inner feelings, it will at the very least help you, not keeping it inside... Even the darkest thoughts, like wanting to end it all, the negativity of thoughts is always less powerful on one's mind when they are shared in love and truth.
     
  4. Pri25080

    Pri25080 Bronze IL'ite

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    @MarieParvati
    Hi!My friend .
    Thanks for writing back to me.
    Since you spoke about Ardhnareshwara form of Lord so thought of sharing something about my husband this time.He follow Lord Shiva from the core of his heart without any doubt. I always share my worries with him.Like you said following Ardhnareshwara form in real way.
    But I have lost my patience :(
    Every body is telling me to go for IVF.but I genuinely want to conceive naturally.I suffered through so much of pain and trauma in 2015.They (doctors )mishandled my case also due to which I had shivering for one year.but this year I am feeling better. And honestly I can't afford the same .since I live in Africa where medical advancements are not high. And we both can't live together in India for more than two weeks.Because in that case his leaves would be non paid.We are struck completely. But many women around me are getting pregnant and delivering babies safely.I wish nobody should go through this.
    I don't know wheather i am sounding clear to you or not.But I want to conceive naturally.In 2015 I got pregnant immediately after my marriage.Hoping this time also I should get pregnant naturally. And the society pressure, I simply can't deal with it.
    I try to meditate and think of Lord Shiva .But these days I am not able to connect with him. It's been three months that I have started chanting Santana Gopal Mantra for 108 times daily.
    I may sound clueless, mad and disturbed but this is real me presently. Again sorry for this long post.I will wait for your reply.
    Wishing you healthy and happy Pregnancy :)May God bless you. Wishing you all the success and happiness in your life.God bless.
    OM NAMAH SHIVAAY. JAI NEEM KAROLI BABA. :)
     
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  5. MarieParvati

    MarieParvati Senior IL'ite

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    Hello my friend ! Om namah shivay !
    Hope you are doing ok and again sorry for the late reply. Your messages mean so much to me, I don't want you to ever feel like I'm not interested in our friendship or what you are going through. Still busy moving in our new place, internet is not installed yet but thank god those phones are all fancy now we can use that.
    I'm happy you and your husband share everything it's always more productive especially in difficult times.
    I understand your situation is a tough one with the medical stuff in africa, not being able to be in India for long, everything you have shared... the pressure of relatives can be extremely difficult.
    I also understand that you don't want to conceive IVF... I would probably feel that too actually... Would feel like it's diminishing the experience or my femininity or that it might mean i shouldnt have a child yet... But in truth it's none of that because it's about science, and knowledge is Shiva's darshan too. If one can conceive easier through that and a soul choses to come this way, that would be his will too. But it's your choice and your husband's. What is his opinion on that ? Don't do IVF if you don't want to, it's also early still you can keep trying as long as you need. Just take care of yourself my friend, emotions play a big part in all of this.
    Lots of love and Shivoham !
    It's normal to have a hard time connecting with Shivji if you feel disconnected with yourself... Reconnect with who you are in depth besides your desire for maternity. You'll reconnect without problem. It's in you... Shivoham ! Om namah shivay !
     

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