A Married Life Which Never Started

Read all your responses since my last post. I really do not want to drag this thread on and on - it must have gotten pretty boring by now. Plus I see a lot more new posts out there awaiting responses. So here goes....

On physical intimacy: To clarify - we are not living together in hatred, repulsion, bitterness, unable to simply stand one another. We have a "normal" life in the sense that we cook, watch TV, movies, help one another out with domestic chores, go to work, shop, travel - but.... 100% of it is driven by me. The "normal" life or lifestyle is what I created from changing this house with a bare brick and walls to a beautiful home, making it a point to travel, travel, travel at every opportunity, every government holiday, movies, music, dance, arts, museums, laughter, jokes... I brought life into this marriage until a few days ago when it snapped (of course, there have been previous arguments about this). So... physical intimacy was also a part of the normal life. When I said "no issues in that area" I meant he has normal libido as a healthy male, he is as interested as a man of his age and health should be, like every woman I have my on days and my off days. And yes, many many times I brought up this fact that "you come to the bed only for this, you have'nt said a word to me all day long." This is one area he has no issues initiating.

I cannot speak to other cultures or the newer generation, but for someone my age and stage and Indian upbringing, marriage is considered important for the one or more of the following reasons:
* A companionship since parents, siblings, friends will all drift away, the one person that remains with you till the end is your spouse.
* Children - still the only legitimate healthy way to bring a child into this world and raise one.
* Money - financial security, especially for most women since even the most educated ones after a period of time settle to raise a family. Heck, even Michelle Obama and Kiran Rao (Khan) are considered role models for housewives who stay-at-home and raise kids.

So sometimes when I look at my marriage, where do I fit:
Companionship - Negative
Children - Negative
Money - may be partly me, partly him - I just don't feel that security that he will watch out for me in old age although he has assured me of it. When there is no overall trust in other factors and have felt let down in a couple of major events in life, hard for me to count on this. In fact, I am afraid to count on this.

I think 30-60 minutes phone calls once a week to India to either one of our families is reasonable. I do the same. But I am equally if not more talkative to my husband too. On the contrary, he talks to his folks but not me. What he talks - I don't know. We do not speak the same language ("Pun intended!").

I agree on all the practical advice to continue like this in a cold (not even lukewarm!) relationship but the "sensitive side" of human nature is the most hard to kill. Maybe it will die on its own - a slow painful death. Isolation is a very painful feeling. Recently I read somewhere that "isolation" is the #1 form of bullying. I am isolated in a foreign country, isolated by my husband, isolated by my in-laws, somewhat distant with my folks... so maybe it is a cumulative effect. Some isolation is from external, some internal self-made not out of depression or any other complex, just a shy quiet introverted person. That is all. Anyway, I will stop this here otherwise we could go on and on and crash the servers.