Overcoming The Gender Bias

Being a Mom

I wont speak/support or put different rules for boy and girl in home. I think i'm doing my part rest society will teach them.

 

Not tuned to it. But I see it happening. It will be there for a long time. It is shifting to the female side now, IMO.

I sense a bias here. Why "AND sons" instead of "and sons"?

Some ideas:
1.
Think how much bias is acceptable for you.
A person who is against gender bias may not be OK with his/her son becoming a male nurse or male nanny. Same with a daughter becoming a race car driver or join the army. Such persons need to work on themselves first before passing on short-term solutions to kids. They may let a boy wear pink or put makeup on as a short term solution. But not accept them having a non-traditional male/female job in the long run.
Are we seeking a permanent shift or a temporary fix?
2.
Pass the idea down and practice it. (By idea I mean no gender bias)Having a closer bond with children will help in passing down one's own interests and beliefs.
3.
Let them choose what they want from an early age and be OK with it. Its ok to not buy a book or toy that doesn't fit in one's budget. But its not ok to make them switch because you don't like the colour or because its for the opposite gender. Same with little chores at home. If a boy wants to clean the house its ok. If a girl wants to play football its fine.
4.
The real challenge is outside of home. Choosing a school/system/community that believes in what you believe is important. The choices are not many. And even if there is one such system, not all teachers and staff may believe in gender equality. Situations that levitate from such environments should be handled by simply listening to the children first and sticking to what you believe. Weigh-in what the others say later and pass it down only if its in line with what you believe about gender bias.
5.
Using appropriate language.
Say boys are taught not to hit girls from a very young age.
- So can boys hit boys?
- Can girls hit boys?
The actual usage should be "its not ok to hit anyone". These little areas carry forward a long term impact even into their old age when taught right.

 

Boys or girls , there is actually no difference. Its their attitude that matters. There is no need to stereotype boys or girls. My girl can wear pink shoes/dress and run fast . She is very spirited and she doesn't consider herself weak or different from boys. The boys or her school so far has not made her feel she is different from the boys. What I am saying is. No kid is all girl or all boy and we should encourage our boys to cook and girls to play soccer if that is what they want to do. Just like adults, they have their own personalities and we should work with that.

 

@Rihana
I agree that I am at the starting end of the spectrum and the issues I am facing now are insignificant to the ones in store. Thank you for the very thoughtful and eye-opening post. I will definitely be stashing it away in my brain as I navigate through parenting