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Overcoming The Gender Bias

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by guesshoo, Sep 26, 2016.

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  1. Oct 5, 2016 #11
    guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    This was actually the point of my question, @Rihana You've come to the matter of the chapter directly.

    With mine being only 5, I see girls take a backseat already - not just my child. On the whole. In extra curricular classes where I sit through, girls are given less attention by the instructors. The instructors are lovely people and of both genders. However boys do command more attention perhaps by being louder and more boisterous. Girls sweetly raise their hands only to be ignored until the boisterous boys are dealt with. Which is what makes me very concerned. The more I pay attention, the more I notice it. I'm not talking about just my child. I've started people wathing and It happens so casually. It happens so nonchalantly. Even the participants in the scene are not aware of this happening. Nor do they mind.

    I want girls to push forth. Amd I want enlightened boys who do realise their gender privilege (is this the real spelling? My auto correct insists) and at least attempt to play fair. Since its so subtle, it's so easy to brush under the carpet and accuse people like me of being over sensitive. But I'm not. I insist and persist and will continue shouting from the roof tops.

    Did you hear about the initiative in the white house to amplify women's ideas in meetings? I'll find a link.

    Edit - here it is; was easy to find. White House women want to be in the room where it happens
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2016
    guesshoo, Oct 5, 2016
    guesshoo, Oct 5, 2016
    #11
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  2. Oct 5, 2016 #12
    guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Its always a pleasure to read your posts, @Shanvy.

    How I wish those holes were in all shapes to fit the peg! It is heartening to see she did what she liked despite it not "conforming" to the some random lot's expectations.

    Great article. It did make me sad though that the boy felt uncomfortable despite his initial confidence. How his parents dealt with it rocked! There is so much to learn us what I thought.

    Incidentally I was in Scandinavia recently and in a mall I went to the toilets were unisex. There were many stalls all the way round and a row of wash basins in the middle. It just didn't seem any different. I don't understand the ones being fussy about it.
     
    guesshoo, Oct 5, 2016
    guesshoo, Oct 5, 2016
    #12
  3. Oct 5, 2016 #13
    rajkumarxxx

    rajkumarxxx Bronze IL'ite

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    All the other points you mentioned are fine. But, do you genuinely want the above to happen in reality ?!☺
     
    rajkumarxxx, Oct 5, 2016
    rajkumarxxx, Oct 5, 2016
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  4. Oct 5, 2016 #14
    anupartha

    anupartha Gold IL'ite

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    Gender Equality!..Nice thread. Men are from Earth & Women are also from Earth. Simple. Deal with it. We need not compare and contrast with each other...there's no fixed rule about who should do what, other than the nature designated duty for women who bears and delivers a child. Yes by nature, men are physically stronger than women in certain aspect. But that in no way makes the women weaker who withstands a labor to bring out a child. But this world is not fair to the so called fair sex!! (btw I hate that term).
    The unisex dress is ok and personally I feel the enormity of the issue is more than that. In my life I had tried not to discriminate anybody basing on gender. I had raised my children that way, one boy and one girl. Still on many occasions it's been a very painful affair driving my point home. If you want to see a difference you must be different. Period.
    It's very sad to see many girls resolving to the tailor made 'feminine' roles, without giving a second thought, so much brain washed, that they ask what is wrong in being like that..The worst part of this issue is that, the woman who is denied her rights is being made to accept her position in such a way that its her own choice and she is happy to be like that. As SGBV has said, we have to not only jump outa the box but should also toss these kinda people out..
    I dunno if I would see a neutral world where every body will have an equal access to everything, in my life time. But sure I have done my part by giving a couple of responsible humans to whom I have passed the torch.
     
    anupartha, Oct 5, 2016
    anupartha, Oct 5, 2016
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  5. Oct 5, 2016 #15
    guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    The point is not you or me "wanting" this to happen. The point is that a male who wishes to wear women's clothes should not be discriminated against or ridiculed. These might seem insignificant but they are niggles, nonetheless in the gender bias problem.
     
    guesshoo, Oct 5, 2016
    guesshoo, Oct 5, 2016
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  6. Oct 5, 2016 #16
    justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Hmm...My experience in many instances has been quite the opposite ..I have seen my share of aggressive girls who had no qualms about taking credit for something they did not truly deserve. And this is exactly what I worry about. The stereotyping of anything....
     
    justanothergirl, Oct 5, 2016
    justanothergirl, Oct 5, 2016
    #16
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  7. Oct 5, 2016 #17
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    guesshoo, I will keep my response briefer than such a topic warrants. I don't have the bandwidth right now for a more involved discussion, and personally, as a woman and as a parent, this is a topic I've sorta/kinda dealt with already.

    I have a girl and a boy, and they experience the above routinely. DH and I groan, cringe, and then just shake our heads and smile knowingly, resignedly. In any group setting, my kids due to their soft nature or whatever, are regularly sidelined. We dropped team sports for them long ago because of this. So, it is not gender, but more their quite nature or inability or lack of desire to speak up. For LOL, if they need ketchup, they will stand in the long line at the fastfood place, while DH and I are gesticulating and at times even texting from the table that he/she should just go to the front of the line and ask the cashier for the ketchup. No, they will stand in the long line, and then ask cashier for ketchup, must to the amusement of all.

    I've spent planned time talking with my daughter, and now son, about the need to break some rules some times. Yes, actually, had to do that. Anyway, coming back to the topic, it is not that girls are regularly sidelined by lovely instructors. The quieter ones are, and that happens in almost any setting, with young or old.

    I want girls to push forth if they want to, where they want to. And if they want to, for it to be not very difficult for them to do so.

    Change girls to 'quieter ones' and boys to 'outgoing articulate'. Do we want to spend effort in telling the outgoing articulate kinds to stop and listen to the quieter ones? If yes, how productive is that?

    I used to also (shout from roof tops). Then, I saw my girl develop her own personality, and she can hold her own when she wants to (including with me! and that is some feat I tell you!), and I slowly learnt how to look at 'issues' and decide for myself, what is an issue, and how much of an issue. The disparity in salaries for example, no doubt it is there - but there are reasons for it. And also the figures are exaggerated or misrepresented for effect. There is this very well-known 'fact checking' website that has a well researched piece on that.

    Yes, I did see this on FB and briefly read it. I am a little cynical without looking too deeply into drives like these and also the "Lean In" kind.
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2016
    Rihana, Oct 5, 2016
    Rihana, Oct 5, 2016
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  8. Oct 5, 2016 #18
    justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    +1
    I even had a case few years ago where boys had a play date with a girl.
    When it was time to wrap up I made the usual "clean up time ..lets put away the toys".
    Boys got to work and the girl sat quietly. I said "U too" with a smile.
    She responded "Are you making me clean up because I am girl ?"
    I gathered my wits since it was clearly not what I was expecting and said "no ...in this house boys and girls clean up."
    She said " My mom said I shouldn't clean up because that will make the boys make me responsible for clean up all the time "
    Before I could retort and drill some sense into this 9 yr old DS said
    "amma leave it ..we will just do it. ITs not that much."
    That is what I worry about the most given the nature of my boys.
     
    justanothergirl, Oct 5, 2016
    justanothergirl, Oct 5, 2016
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  9. Oct 5, 2016 #19
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Would give a lot to have been a fly on the wall, and observe the "U too" smile and the gathering of wits. : )
     
    Rihana, Oct 5, 2016
    Rihana, Oct 5, 2016
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  10. Oct 6, 2016 #20
    SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I don't think we have any rights to judge if that happens? I want both the genders to feel free and chose what they really want instead of fearing the social taboo.
    Initially when women started to wear men's cloths such as jeans and Ts, they faced similar taboo. Even in some rural villages in India, women are looked down for wearing comfortable cloths due to this social taboo.
     
    SGBV, Oct 6, 2016
    SGBV, Oct 6, 2016
    #20
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