How to handle this PIL politics diplomatically?

Hi All,
This is a lengthy post!

I am recently married (met through matrimony and got married within 2 months as we liked each other very much.. yes different caste also) and post marriage our ILs stayed with us for few days. Some of the problems I had faced are mentioned below:

1. My hubby is fair and I am dusky, looks like my PILs are very concerned about it. Though FIL doesn't take this topic very much, but MIL whenever she gets chance keep boasting none of my sons are dark, all of them are VERY FAIR. My DH had not even mentioned about my complexion till date, he had never hurt me with any words till date.. touch wood. He infact apologized to me, because I was hurt by his moms' comments

2. She always keeps talking about "my son is like this, my son is like that, our family is like this". All these dialogues used to be repeated atleast 5 times every single day. My DH never boasts... he is a very simple and down to earth person.

3. MIL always passes sarcastic remarks, even if there is no necessity for such dialogues.

4. I will not even be considered...Suppose if I make dinner and if we run out of batter, my DH says he will have rice which was kept for lunch and he force me to take dosa, saying he loves to have rice for dinner and yes it is the truth as well. My MIL comes to kitchen notice me eating dosa and her son eating rice, will ensure she keeps very less rice the next day, which will go to an extent such that I myself be left out with less rice for lunch, as I eat last. Even when we go outings, she serves excess to my FIL and she takes more and gives rest to her son, I will always be left out with very less. Then my hubby keeps some from his share.

5. During their stay, they shopped like anything say around 1k USD for family friends. My hubby had recently come to US and due to marriage expenses also he didn't have much money. I was aware of his condition, so I never buy anything which I feel unnecessary, on the other hand she ended up buying excess materials for her, her co-sis and friend. Yes, I can't help and showed face, which they understood but still it continued. I felt extremely bad, how they took my hubby for granted. I am NOT telling he cannot do for his parents, but why didn't they understand his situation and shop less? This question pops up in my mind EVERY SINGLE DAY.


Now my current dilemma.

I am pregnant and my parents are visiting us for delivery. As per the customs, my PILs are supposed to do something for the grand kid in gold. Our parents had already mentioned this to them and they royally ignored it. Have just sent some 10 sets of cloths and some eateries for us. Even for marriage, they didn't give me any gold, as per the custom. I didn't mind this at all. But for my kid, the same treatment is NOT ACCEPTABLE. How much will a small finger ring cost???? don't they even have that much money.

MIL had called my DH and told, they are running short of finance and they were not able to do anything, and he also became upset believing all the story.

PIL are gonna celebrate their 60th marriage anniversary this Sep and I am due April and they expect us to come to India. My DH has one more bro for whom they are still seeking alliance, so I actually planned to go to India only during his marriage and I adviced my BIL also stating the same and to have PIL 60th marriage during his marriage time.
But as you are expected, my plan became utter flop and they are VERY STUBBORN to have their 60th marriage in Sep. My doubt is if I travel now, suppose BIL marriage gets fixed within few months, how many times will I travel with the small kid. My hubby is the only earning and we already have so much medical expenses. I am trying to tell my hubby this, but he stands on his point saying what if his Bro marriage takes time. So lets go in Sep. I have no clue how to handle this, I just don't want to dance to their tunes. How can I diplomatically handle this situation? I don't want to hurt my DH feelings at any cost and at the same time can't see him suffering without money also.

Suggestions welcome!

Thank you!