What should the deal-breakers be in a marriage?

sdiva20 · Feb 12, 2016

cheating or abuse- physical and or emotional.

sdiva20 · Feb 12, 2016

Yes smoking too

Any one why hates dogs- forget about it. Winning my heart is about loving my dog ha ha

MalStrom said: ↑

Smoking
Complaining about my dogs :mrgreen: !
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SadMarried · Feb 12, 2016

infedility is not accepted in any circumstances.

Amica · Feb 12, 2016

poovai said: ↑

One or more of the reasons can be deal breaker in a marriage:

Substance abuse
Verbal or physical abuse
mental illness (psychotic behavior)
cheating/EMA
Gambling
disrespect
dishonest/Hiding information
Secretly hiding or spending money
Not willing to share the household work/kids responsibilities
frequent time away from family with his "boys" network
Too stingy
angry bird (burst of anger issues):twisted:
Not respecting/ill-treating in-laws family
Silent torture
Not spending enough time with family shakehead
Lack of affection/love/intimacy
Too much attention seeker:spin
when your are not on his top priority
lack of support for your career growth
Not treating as a human being
lack of appreciation
No gifts ever (credit cards accepted as giftmoneysmiley)

list goes on and on.....There are 1000 more reasons to walk away from the marriage. Only you can tell the difference between right and wrong, what is happening in your marriage life? Most of all, when you feel that something is not right or things didn't add up, it is time to evaluate your marriage.
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@poovai, thank you for a very comprehensive list! So much to think about!

We don't leave a relationship because of physical illness in the spouse, why should mental illness be treated differently?

Still thinking about everything else ...

lol at "(credit cards accepted as giftmoneysmiley)"

Amica · Feb 12, 2016

MalStrom said: ↑

Complaining about my dogs :mrgreen: !
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Yes! This, too. :rotfl

Amica · Feb 12, 2016

YoGirl said: ↑

Lifestyle changes. If the guy's family is of lower lifestyle, then there is a need to think twice.

Several issues crop up because of this, as the whole family will be tuned to one way and its tough to settle down and adjust for the new bride.
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@YoGirl You bring up a good point.

Personally, I don't consider finances a deal-breaker.

There is no way to predict the future. The man who is poor today may win the lottery tomorrow. The man who is earning big bucks today could lose his income tomorrow.

And, in today's world, there is nothing to stop us from earning our own $$ for the lifestyle we want.

Amica · Feb 12, 2016

Ragini25 said: ↑

There are always 100 reasons to throw away something in life, see if you find one good reason to stay on for life. Upto each individual to deal with the consequences either way.
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@Ragini25, sure, there are 100 reasons, but what are good reasons for walking away?

I think some of us give up on good relationships too easily, while others stay in bad relationships too long.

Amica · Feb 12, 2016

anika987 said: ↑

excellent question...

According to me the deal breakers should be..

1)physical and emotional abuse
2)Infidelity (for sure)
3) I will definitely not say inlaws torture coz we should first introspect ourselves and see how good we are as DIL's.I am not perfect and there have been many times when i have also been mean.so instead of blindly blaming the other side, we have to see the truth and then decide.

However, the above three also can be overlooked if the person has changed for sure..
BUT for me point no 2 can NEVER EVER be forgiven no matter what.
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@anika987, thank you. Good points!

But all DILs from Indus Ladies are perfect. :mrgreen:

Amica · Feb 12, 2016

SGBV said: ↑

For me, any form of EMA - be it emotional, physical or both. That would be the full stop to my marriage life.

Like someone said, there are 100 reasons to leave the marriage, but one best reason that is holding us here. That is love.
I can adjust with all the silly other imperfections, and correct him when he goes mad. For ex: If he is violent and abusive (thank God, he is not), I know how to put him at the right place. I won't allow him to.
But if he indulges in EMA, that too I can control, but for what? EMA means no love, no affection and no respect towards my me/my love. So what is the point of correcting him or putting things to a control. That's why I say EMA is a deal breaker for me.
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@SGBV, lots of food for thought in your post! Thank you.

SGBV said: ↑

Like someone said, there are 100 reasons to leave the marriage, but one best reason that is holding us here. That is love.
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So true!

Amica · Feb 12, 2016

kimmy said: ↑

For me - EMA, alcohol or drug addiction, physical abuse, verbal abuse, male chauvinism are deal breakers
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@kimmy, we are mostly on the same page.

But is male chauvinism incurable? I think I could whip an MCP (male chauvinist pig) into shape. :evil: