Weird problem

Has been told to them 100 times, and they dont and wont listen even if you explain and yell another 100 times, and will only make your life more complicated.
Take it in one ear, and leave it out the other ear, ....esp since they are your H's mom and sis and they will be a part of his life as blood relation.

 

Turn it right back and joke with them.
Tackling it head on will backfire. Once the kids grow up they will likey tire of this foolishness and it will come to a natural end. And by the time your daughter's wedding rolls around this will be just a funny memory, if even that.

 

Tell them it is a decision that the children can take when they grow old enough to marry. Besides 20-25 years on...who knows if parents will hve any say n marriage decisions.

If they ask the little boy to call your baby "wifey"....tell him,no son,she is your little sister and you are her bhaiya(or equivalent in your language).
Send him Rakhi from your little girl.

 

Hi, I don't think there is any need to break your head so much over this silly thing! You just roll your eyes and tell them it is ridiculous that they have these weird notions when the kids are this young. Tell them not to spoil the relationship the cousins will have with these kinds of silly ideas.

One of my friends who has 2 sons used to do this, constantly joke that my 2 daughters will be her DILs some day! One day in all seriousness, she asks me how I would feel about at least one of my daughters marrying one of her sons. All I said was, we'll see and that we had a lot of time to think about it, mainly to see if my daughter was going to marry a boy or a girl or get married at all. She never raised it from then on!

 

No, dear @yellowmango, that NEVER works in some south indian communities... They are NEVER brother-sister. They are FIRST option for husband / wife, as OP mentions is her main problem.

@needCBT, Talks such as "call her your wife" to a 4 yr old boy seriously mangles his thinking, and is repelling to say the least. Such things fester in young minds; I have known some kids exploring sexually at a very young age, cos they have a "girlfriend" when they are not even in their teens.

It is NOT a joke, it is not something to listen and tune out for the next 20+ years. For God's sake, ur DD is what? A few months old?? And her husband has been decided before she is out of diapers??

Please put your foot down hard. First, in front of your DH. Not because your SIL is going to be a BAD MIL (Oh No! She is the best angel, and her son is a great catch!), but because talking about your DD's marriage at this stage is ridiculous, be it to your SIL's son or anyone else, for that matter.

You should have done this the first time you heard this nonsense. Why did you wait for your DD to be born to cut their crap??? Better late than never. The message should come loud and clear from your DH to your MIL and SIL, once and for all.

 

I agree with what yellowmango said .. We are two sisters n two brothers .. My bro married SIL ( aunts daughter ) at his wish.. At my inlaws they don't like these kind of marriages .. So DH told me they shouldn't keep any thoughts like that wid my daughter near in future ..

i stood by DH and I taught my dd to call both my nephews like anna(elder ) tammudu(younger) .. Now they also calling her sister .. They say everybody around my house that they have a sister in USA .. If neighbors says ( u know how neighbors at towns) something like she is ur maradalu they won't agree they say no she is our sister ..

but here I don't hav prob with either my bro or SIL they are happy to see kids like bro n sisters .. So in your case tell your Sil clearly that she is your daughter u will decide what's good n bad for now she is very young to talk such things .. So stop discussing these things lets kids play together ..

remember during your trip by mistake if your nephews call her something don't be angry it's not Thier mistake .. Mistake is mothers .. So tell them she is your little sister ..

 

Exactly. Especially in this era of so much child abuse lurking here and there, it is NOT ok for a child to grwo up thinking that someone referring to them as a "wife" is an ok thing to do. Nip it in the bud itself.
When they say this again tell them that it is not ok to joke about such things . Make sure that you let them know that you think it is a joke. Also, tell your H and explain the same.

 

When your daughter is old enough, refer to her cousin as brother. When your sil's child calls her somethign inappropriate, tell him sister is the right word. Blowing up in front of inlaws may not yield the right results. Just give them a look and advise the young boy about what brother and sister relationship is. You can also use the tactic another poster used above - bringing up the sexual inclinations of both children 25 years from now. And finally, you can also tell them, whom your child marries is your prerogative, not theirs. If MIL plays the "sick" card - asj her - just because your are sick should I do be a part of something I don't approve of and that too regarding my daughter?