An event in school - Need your thoughts and advise

I was about to mention that - friends change, teachers change year after year. You most certainly can ask for a change of class but I would only suggest that if you are not happy after watching for some more time. As such end of school year is fast approaching, so do you think you can manage...this year?

As for play dates, what has worked for me is having friends from other classes - okay let me explain I have neighbors who have children in the same school, different grades, different class even if same grade. So my kids consider these kids as their friends even in school - they get to see them in hall ways, recess, lunch etc and it has given them a sense of comfort and a sense of belonging as well. As they grow up is when they also make some solid friends ....from the same room or different rooms - like 2nd or 3rd.

As for your husband waiting to meet with the principal, if he has not taken an appointment before hand, I guess no point in feeling bad about it. I would just drop it and not feel bad or read anything into it.

 

And @purpleheart22, I do have some awesome friends who are from here. In my DDs school, yes the entire school there are perhaps utmost 5 Indian kids or lesser. It took time to make these friendships but the experience you mentioned only should help you weed out and reach to good people, they are there - everywhere! Just keep looking. Sorry, I just could not ignore commenting on that

Best wishes and I sure your DD will come happy and all will be back to normal.

 

op,

You have already recd some excellent advice. I would like to add only that -- I do feel you are overlaying your own insecurities doubts and fears over this situation and complicating it unnecessarily. Your anecdote about the diwali sweets and the guys reaction makes me really wonder exactly where you are living in US. Anyway your experience is 180 degrees opp of mine as in my area not only are there lots of Indians, they are highly respected and their kids are considered high achieving kids (Indian kid means must be getting A's/ good at Math and Science kind of perception). So yes our experiences are a matter of where we choose to live also.

All this just to make you understand that your kid is only 5, going forward there will be loooooot of issues and looot of incidents on a regular basis as your kid navigates the usual growing up challenges and the school system . So your choices here are to either grow a thick skin and get used to dealing with this school district and the people where you live currently ( it will be a long 12 years otherwise!) or move to another place/another school.

 

I am an Indian raised in the U.S. and when I was growing up in the 1980s and early 1990s, I was one of only 3 Indians in my entire elementary school of over 300 students. When I was in high school, there were about a dozen Indians in a school of about 1,000. I was always a model student, an overachiever, and popular among my peers. I had mostly American friends and preferred American food to Indian food but I did keep some of my Indian roots and eventually married a man raised in India (although I always thought I'd marry another ABCD until I met him).

Getting back growing up in the U.S., there are always little squabbles and occasional bullying and things like that here. Kids will be kids and teachers will give kids a "talking to" when things like this happens. However, it's usually forgotten within a few days and things go back to normal. If you show "fear" of American culture and kids, you'll transmit those insecurities to your daughter and she'll be more likely to do things her peers tell her to do blindly in order to fit in.

My recommendation is to do what MY parents did; get to know a few families with children your daughter's age really well. If you work, meet at a park on the weekends or a pizza place for dinner. Build her confidence and get over your own insecurities and distrust of Americans. I find it really disconcerting that many Indians these days settle in America but only want their kids to socialize with other Indians and are opposed to something as innocent as a pizza playdate with "those American" kids.

My daughter is 4 and goes to a diverse preschool and plays with kids of all races. I also have belonged to playgroup since her birth based on babies born from July through December of 2010 and have good friends from those groups that we get together once a week for a playdate with. Once in a while, we get together with other Tamil families on Saturday nights through my husband's social circle as well but I'd say my closer friends are non-Indians.

 

@SilverNGold,

Sounds like you live in a pretty diverse area yourself. I agree with most of what you have to say. only caveat being: though there are laws in place and so much awareness one can never know when one runs into a narrow minded person. They do exist. It is rare but it is not impossible. I have seen enough ppl that I feel OP's concern about close minded persons could well be real. given that is the case, one can choose to live in a white only place, and be a walking talking diversity awareness advertisement. Personally I would find it exhausting to be constantly 'other' in a place I call home but some ppl like it. Or we can choose an environment with more of a mix where we feel more comfortable. As far as Indians banding together in US is concerned, I feel it is their personal comfort level and their choice as to the degree to which they want to assimilate. Different strokes for different folks.