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Is marriage really worth it?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Ivanhoe, Dec 17, 2014.

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  1. Dec 18, 2014 #31
    Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Bronze IL'ite

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    This idea is somewhat unique and it's bound to intrigue. There is no need to defend anything either the concept of marriage or no marriage. The point we are interested in is how life can be happier. That's all. The ultimate aim is living a more productive and happier life and exploring the means to achieve that.

    If something does not serve its purpose we have to look for a better solution. Nothing is to be held sacred except the principles of humaneness, compassion, integrity and transparency. And I believe this "no marriage" concept holds a very conducive environment for this to happen.
     
    Ivanhoe, Dec 18, 2014
    Ivanhoe, Dec 18, 2014
    #31
  2. Dec 18, 2014 #32
    Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Bronze IL'ite

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    Anything is possible dear Laks09. Those times were different and so were their motivations. In today's world "marriage' has taken a beating unlike those times when almost everyone rooted for marriage.
     
    Ivanhoe, Dec 18, 2014
    Ivanhoe, Dec 18, 2014
    #32
  3. Dec 18, 2014 #33
    poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    There is something that works for many generations - the commitment as the marriage, socially accepted and it is legally binding.

    Why or what is the need to change it? Who wants to change it?

    What is the name the cult, going to be? Where is this group going to live, in an isolated area, hiding from rest of the world?

    Bottom line, you are talking about a free society that allows men straying and women meant to raise the kids in a small group. What a barbaric thinking!!

    Are you talking about going back to the stone age and living in a "cave" life style?

    Aren't there some infamous cults like that lived in a compounded society and ended up in a massive suicide such as Peoples temple and heaven's gate.

    I do hear some Mormon? society live in an isolated area of Utah, mainly practicing polygamy....whose said those women are happy? They are mainly kept uneducated, suppressed, deprived of outside world, to live like that.

    Interesting.... 'Bhagwan Shree Ivonhoe' - nice ring to it!
     
    poovai, Dec 18, 2014
    poovai, Dec 18, 2014
    #33
  4. Dec 18, 2014 #34
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Nandita guy even if banned comes as ivanhoe. Nice.
     
    Ragini25, Dec 18, 2014
    Ragini25, Dec 18, 2014
    #34
  5. Dec 18, 2014 #35
    sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    Oh? You must be referring to some other thread - I don't see that you have posted in this one.
    In invoking 'social media' I was referring merely to introducing OP to a potential soulmate in Nandita24, thus solving his dilemma once and for all! (Phir kya hua, yeh na poocho, kuch aisi baat ho gayi ...).

    I wasn't volunteering to wrangle OP on the subject at hand ... No, no, no-no :wink:
     
    sokanasanah, Dec 18, 2014
    sokanasanah, Dec 18, 2014
    #35
    2 people like this.
  6. Dec 18, 2014 #36
    Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Bronze IL'ite

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    I understand your views. I think conditioning has to do a lot with this. Just think how many things have changed in the last 100 years. Many things we held very dear to our hearts including customs and traditions have yielded to totally opposite views. In this context many celebs too have spoken against marriage. But they have not given a solution. Many bring up their children as single parents in a highly materialistic world as ours. This is also accepted without question as something inevitable. Now tell me who is deciding what is barbaric or not. Others may see the same thing as a characterestic of an evolved society. While many may term what you hold dear as rigid and orthodox. Who is right?

    ** BTW the points you have raised shows you have not understood what I have said. It is by no means a loose society unlike what we may have today... and we turn a Nelson's eye to it.
     
    Ivanhoe, Dec 18, 2014
    Ivanhoe, Dec 18, 2014
    #36
  7. Dec 18, 2014 #37
    rajinitk4

    rajinitk4 IL Hall of Fame

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    Ivanhoe I disagree with you that only some marriages are successful and most are problematic. I think you may be of this opinions seeing many people complain but it might be the place you are looking for. Do you think all people who had successful marriage go about blowing the trumpet that their marriage is successful and they are happy. the same applies to unsuccessful marriages too.
    Not everyone come out and talk what worked and what did not work for them that does not mean you can come to conclusions on the partial image you see.
     
    rajinitk4, Dec 18, 2014
    rajinitk4, Dec 18, 2014
    #37
  8. Dec 18, 2014 #38
    Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Bronze IL'ite

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    It's not about anyone proclaiming anything. If you see human behaviour like infidelity, increasing cases of divorces or on the verge of divorce or separations, fear of social opinions or stigma etc., etc., suggest a disturbing underlying trend that's covered by a veneer of "All is well" with our marriages while infact we are only being hypocritical about everything being hunkydory with Indian marriages.

    My point is if things can be better with lesser chances of dissatisfied relationships why not try that option. I see many advantages social and economic in the new relationship "No Marriage" concept leading to a more satisfying well-rounded life -living the life one really wants to live in perfect freedom in the way one wants.
     
    Ivanhoe, Dec 18, 2014
    Ivanhoe, Dec 18, 2014
    #38
  9. Dec 18, 2014 #39
    Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Bronze IL'ite

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    The book "India in Love: Marriage and Sexuality in the 21st Century" by Ira Trivedi. Her painstaking research shows many shocking facts about Indian Marriages. The book makes for quite an interesting reading.
     
    Ivanhoe, Dec 18, 2014
    Ivanhoe, Dec 18, 2014
    #39
  10. Dec 23, 2014 #40
    Maniya

    Maniya Senior IL'ite

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    Marriage has its pluses and minuses.

    Mr./Ms. Ivanhoe, if you are convinced, it is not required for you, so be it. Be happy. But don't proclaim that marriage is a waste and fight for your cause.

    There are so many people who are still unmarried, but longing to get married at the earliest. But it is not happening. The pain at seeing friends and relatives of the same age or of a very young age, who are married and having kids and enjoying married life, is known only to the sufferer. It makes the whole world to be hated. Why me! of all people?, they would say.

    This world is indeed cruel.

    I have one advice. Marry at a young age. Have kids at a young age. For me first important thing is marriage, then kids and then only job.

    Life is a failure if you are not married and without kids, when you really long for it.

    If you want to be a sanayasi, then ok. But otherwise being unmarried is a curse, which will haunt the person till his or her last breath.
     
    Maniya, Dec 23, 2014
    Maniya, Dec 23, 2014
    #40
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