A Good Touch and Bad a Touch.

Hi Shanvy,

An imperative and ongoing topic ! This is the topic of the hour,day and night. And over here, it is reinforced time and again.

Now, this is the most misleading way to teach the girls that may curb even genuine conversation at school,colleges and work place between girls and boys.

Shanthi, as AC pointed out, it is quite late already ! If your daughter were here, she would be in middle school studying in 7th grade. By this time, the children (both boys and girls) are given different sessions at school ( in both elementary and middle schools), according to their grade level, with prior permission from parents, and taught about "Good touch and Bad touch".

We are given a detailed form explaining what the discussion is going to be and whether we are comfortable with our kids being exposed to these topics !! This is an excellent way to introduce the kids to these kind of circumstances.

One more thing, the incidents that you mentioned happen anywhere in the world. It is the responsibility of the parents to explain,monitor and discuss these aspects with their children.

My children are dropped and picked up from school by us (me and my hubby) . But this may not be possible for all parents, especially when they are in a hurry to get ready for work. Again, our instincts need to be tuned up apart from advising our children about any awkward moments/happenings etc at school or in the bus. This can be extended to after school activities too.

We need to cultivate a routine of discussing both the happy and troubling events throughout the day after they come back from school..that way..they open up automatically without us prodding them for information. Personally, the best time will be just before they go to bed, when I read them stories and we relate certain real life events to the stories and vice versa. They open up so well and this wonder never ceases to amaze me..just a small contribution from the parents..goes a long way !!

Yes, this fear will be uprooted, once the children realise that they can discuss anything with their parents without any inhibitions and "taboo" coined by parents themselves.

Again, here the doctors encourage the parents to start talking about these sensitive topics to their children from an young age. Especially, when the children reach the puberty period, doctors insist that moms teach these to their daughters and dads to their sons. If not, (in case of single parents) they appoint counselors for these sessions ! I was really amazed.

In India, there is still a stigma attached to these topics and makes the children all the more curious. When half these things are already shown in television,movies and magazines, why should we pave way for confusion rather than clarity?

Better to sit down, and explain to the children in a way they can understand, instead of threatening and instilling fear in them. Making them scared will have a detrimental effect. A balanced approach needs to be sustained.

Thanks for resurfacing this much needed topic.

Cheers
Krithika

 

Got you now.. understood where you were going.. Thanks for bringing in this awareness
You are there in FP now for this thread.. I was going to do it yesterday but went to sleep and when i went to nominate today its already been nominated
you absolutely deserve the accolades keep writin

 

Dear Shanvy,

It is the motherly concern in you which made you start this thread on the good and bad touch. It is a subject which needs to be revived every now and then as this is a forum with many young mothers raising children in the present day and age.

I don't know if this is only the curse of today or had always existed and not spoken aloud. Whatever, fact remains that it is not an easy job to raise happy and healthy children no matter where in the world you live.

I loved Rajmiarun's reply here, she speaks with some experience and knowledge.
It is very very important to nurture a friendly relationships with your child and encourage talk on every subject. If the parent does not talk to them, who else can?
Congrats Shanvy, once again, you make it to the FP forum with this thread

L, Kamla

 

I want to give life to this thread again. I got a forward,more like an awareness of Child Sex Abuse, then i thought to share it in my home here! This thread goes only 1 and half pages?? why?? All mothers, please share here whatever your thoughts and keep this thread alive. Its very very important to reach out to all mothers to protect our children because this particular child sex abuse is happening everyday in all over the world. During parenting sometimes we miss this part to teach our children which may end up in very bad experience for the whole family. So lets keep talking and sharing.......

 

Mine is 2 years and 4 months old. So far I have not really taught her about the good touch and the bad touch. Actually, here she is always accompanied by my DH and I where ever we go. the only other person who takes care of her in our absence is our daycare provider (did a back ground check, took parents references etc. even if I have to tell her about the bad touch, I dont know where to begin.

As of now, I have taught her the below:

1. That she should not let anyone change her diaper or cloths if its not me/DH/daycare provider.
2. That she should say "No. Stop" loudly if something is being done and she is not comfortable with it. There were times when I hug her she asked me to stop and I respect that and stop immediately.
3. I encourage her to tell me how her day went at the daycare. Though she is unable to really articulate, I think she knows what I am asking.

Other than that...not sure where to begin.

And in all honesty, its no longer a girl and boy thing. Both genders are falling prey to these abuses lately.