so many threads about R2I... I want to be neutral and start a thread.First of all,I live in the USA.. I am here for more than a decade and sometimes I too have the need for sense of belonging.US is a great place and so is our motherland. However,people return or stayback due to their priorities.overall,the liveliness, unpredicatable life,being a part of our people and our culture is what I miss the most!Are these valid reasons?Do not know.From my observation here is what I have listed.. pros about returning back to India.. 1) good Indian food 2) sense of belonging (that too IF you live in places you feel you can gel in) 3) less loneliness 4) opportunity to choose friends of your liking 5) proximity to family (that too if they are living in the same state or nearby state) 6) liveliness 7) functions/festivals 8) Colorful Indian attire 9) you really LIKE to dress up here since people do notice you and yes..we are humans we like the appreciative glances (in a good way ofcourse) 10) there are lots of lovely places to see..name any kind of vacationbe it hill stations,beaches etc..you get it there 11) Spiritual wealth negatives about returning to India.. 1) JOB.for many this seems to be a problem.For less ambitious people like me(I personally do seasonal jobs) and well over the age of 32.Last time on my vacation to India,I saw that people prefer freshers and "age limit" always specified. Here,I do GET a job.There,to drive admist the traffic and take up a job for time pass...makes no sense.Again,this point is for someone like me.Some are having years of experience..they can get one or some prefer to stay at home which is also good. 2) PRESSURE TO LOOK GOOD.I just wear whatever I want to go out anywhere.noone scrutinizes me,noone cares and so you are not pressured to look good. there you are welldressed and good,the way people treat you could be different.If you do not look sophisticated,the way the sales people treat you is different. 3) COLOR,COMPLEXION..not once in US was I spoken to about my skin color.atleast to my face,except one or two desi ladies (that too they were proud of how fair they were) In India,first day I step into my community the ladies around me are like "Gosh! you look so dark.what happenned?people usually look fair coming from America. you look dull"I am not kidding.this has happenned many many times. 4) COMPETITION..everything is a competition.everything be it beauty,job,status..everything is a competition. 5) FAMILY..Overrated..atleast for me.either there is family politics or we rarely meet.it makes no difference be it India or America 6) FRIENDS..people do not have time.people are so busy and especially for women..after marriage friendships seems to fade off. 7) TRAFFIC..people do not mind this on a vacation but every day..day to day..I think we can get used to this. Maybe the above is wrong.feel free to explain and tell us the real facts. people in India who have been there or people who have returned only knows what is best, day to day life etc.NRI's only go for a vacation.so everything is rosy.Please be honest and post your opinions as we get a better picture.
Re: pros of cons about returning to India.. I am agree with all +ve points but not with all -ve. My opinion on -ve points - 1. Job - I can not comment since I work for indian company and never left my job whether it is USA or India. One good point in USA - people do not classify you here based on what job you are doing whether you work in store of director of fortune 500 company. In India, this needs to be changed. 2. Colour complexion/Racism - Honestly I saw it more in USA. That might be me, who never heard it in India but here my DD who is just in Pre K come with new questions everday, why I am brown and XX friend is white. Once she told me me , Mithul (another Indian) and maggon (African) is brown. I asked her who told you she said my teacher and friends. I travel in local train every day and had seen whites choosing place to sit based on who is next or giving expression after seeing their colour/race. There is many more example from my day to day life. Similar experience, I heard from my Pakistani neighbor how her previous neighbor stopped talking to her/family after knowing she is from Pakistan and how her kids got treated in school. 3. Friends - It is individual..I had better social life in India. Here I had lived in 2 cities one with Indian Majority, trust me I didn't have a single friend from that city...reason- every one is busy or they think they are more American or sophisticated as there are here in USA from long or they have their local groups and doesn't want to include any one. 4. Traffic - It's same experience for me whether it is india or USA. Both places, my travel time to office is unpredictable
Re: pros of cons about returning to India.. Well thought out points. Nothing to correct in what you mentioned. Good luck!!
Re: pros of cons about returning to India.. Dear op, We got shifted to Usa 5 years back. I kind of like India better than being here. Mainly because you feel more secured in India since you get a sort of belonging. Here you always feel that you are a foreigner. I dont know whether you guys remember that Tamil song. "swargamme endralum adu namma ooru polle varumma" :boo:
Re: pros of cons about returning to India.. I think for people who live for 15 years abroad or more, the question becomes, which is "namma ooru". this is not the ooru i remember!! I will go with thalaivar dialogue: "naama virumbinadhu kidaikalainaa...namakku kidaichadha virumbeedanum" ( if you don't get what you love, you should love what you got )
Re: pros of cons about returning to India.. I totally agree with you Priya... As said getting job is not difficult but only problem is money (atleast for most people).. If your aim is to work so that you dont sit idle and dont care about your wages, things are going to be fine in India too.. The ultimate truth is its not about how people might think about your job, for most ,its about money..A similar exp person may only earn 25% of what you make here... but thast more than enuf for a proper living there.. It again depends on our priorities.. If we weigh our family/culture and being in our motherland more than money and luxury,then its good to be back there... The point about colour... from what i've read and heard, racism is most prevalent here than in India...You might be questioned by people about getting dark or being dark, but its not they isolate you at all times or they keep pointing out your skin tone at all times.. they may ask you couple of times but you may defintely choose to ignore it..I live in a place where all of them are americans(few blacks)..We are group 6-7 families who were the first Indians(or browns) to move here..we've been here for the past 2 years but even now people look at us as if we are from a different planet.. everytime you walk on the road , they tend specifically look at you which kind of makes you feel uncomfortable.. Similar to what Priya said, except for the Indian families(colleagues) here we dont have any other friends..We dont even know our neighbours cos they are not ready to welcome us.. Unless you live in some remote suburb in USA, traffic is always a problem here too.. I went to NYC and found that people drive there almost like India.. they keep changing lanes while standing at a signal, try to rush their car in a small gap and the traffic was real bad.. I suppose many cities here have such probs.. At the end, everything is on individual perspective and nothing is collective...Both for me and my husband we would run back to India , if they relieve us here...
Re: pros of cons about returning to India.. Living abroad can be tough on kids. They can't relate to indian traditions. Kids see their peers dating, kissing and having sex but that is not ok with all indian parents! Kids see this as double standards and become confused! They become disconnected...Things are changing in India as well but at least there is SOME connect... I do not agree with the complexion thing...I know kids here are more tuned to racism...my preteen niece is very conscious of her being brown.
Re: pros of cons about returning to India.. I work in NYC and live in suburb only so what you mentioned I see every day.
