please help.. dont know what to do..

op,
1.Take responsibility for the money you earn.
2.You should close or remove the credit card from his hand(to avoid spending money you dont have).
3.Allot pocket money for his use ,if it looks offensive give part of the salary to manage house to him.(you can shift part money to another account and still leave the debit card with him)
4. Dont inform about increments.
5.start Recurring deposits in kids name.
WE forum users could give more ideas ,but at the end of the day you need to grow some spine.
Finance at the hands of the irresponsible person will leave you in 100% mess.Try to take the finance into your hands (its not easy).this could also help him to concentrate on his earning.
If he plays the card "iam not good for you." tell him that you feel "you are not good in finance because you have a heart of gold" or such hearty ready reply.
best wishes and prayers

 

To get a job and earn money is easy. Many people can do it.

But to have an easygoing mind, despite of all setbacks and failures, is unique.
Even after all such failures, if he is able to behave well with you, your family and his family then he is very sweet person. Such personalities are rare.
So do not try to change his character. He will not change either.

All you can do is to limit pampering him by feeding all your income for his activities.
You must make a financial planning for the family. He should earn himself at least for his expenditure. Tell his parents also to help you out in this regard.

 

I think u need to sit down with him on the pretext that new member is coming in family so we will have to plan our finances. Treat him as a responsible person and ask him for ideas where expenses can be curtailed.Have a nice calm conversation without blaming him or getting emotional. Fix equal pocket money for both of you that u can spend in a month.do some advance planning and have all the accounts details there so he can see for himself and appreciate whats going on. Plan out most of the monthly expenses in advance in detail and he can have a copy of the plan.

He also needs counselling so that that he can get out of this mentality and is able to hold on to a job. Good luck.

 

Why are you having second baby in this condition?

 

Do men who are the breadwinners feel the same way?
That their wives are spending all his hard earned money on jewellery, shopping, watching TV..etc..Just a thought

 

^yes yogirl, good qn, If he is generally responsible (which is a separate qn), then stay at home hubby shud be ok if stay at home wives ok? What if hubbies question stay at home wives?

 

dear Yogirl & Ragini ,

Working husbands and spendaholic wives also not a good combo. No gender bias for irresponsible behavior.

Working ladies had to worry about child bearing.The op here is due for a 'c' sec in a week and now bothered about her home condition.

How long do you think the poor mom will be able to feed her baby or rest herself ?

Already her first child in the custody of her parents.Could she afford to take care of her 2nd child as she had to rush back to her job(mostly the pay low during maternity leave)

Is it not the responsibility of the H to reduce her earn load?
instead of reducing expenses he goes tour after tour swiping her credit card after finishing her bank balance.

 

Correct, Yes this is why I wrote the qn on responsibility, that if he was responsible then it can work out, else it gets to what ur saying

 

If the husband is doing all the work that a house wife does...then there should not be an issue.The husband can't go on fun holidays with friends,sit in front of tv .....while the wife take care of not only their needs but also his parents not to mention do the usual wifey stuff like being pregnant,giving birth ,nurse the baby....etc