My MIL keeps comparing with others.

Make bad food every time.

 

I have only one answer to all your queries.. IGNORE.. the more you pay attention to the tormentor the more pleasurable it is for them.. if you ignore then the whole maaja of the game is lost..
another suggestion is next time she says such things join in and agree with full force sarcasm added
1. really you think that person is better??.. ya maybe but do you know this MIL is sooo good.. etc
2. yes you are the best mom.. proof being that I bear up with your son
3. yes the food is not that tasty.. don't eat it cook for yourself and feed me too..

 

her objective is to make yourself feel inferior and irritate you. Don't to both. stop listening. Nod your head like you are listening to some divine music and not say a word. In your head go 'blah blah blah.. '.

 

Have you ever tried telling her how bad her remarks make you feel? Or tell her how everyone's taste buds are different and how her son seems to enjoy what you cook, and that you can't change your cooking style but she can certainly start cooking to please her taste buds.

If you're very happy with your husband then you really can't do much about point#2

About comparisons, you could subtly start comparing her and praising other people's MILs too and tell her how they are so nice and supportive of their DILs and how that encourages their DILs to be so nice to MILs too.

 

1. Roll my eyes. Then ignore it unless there is some hidden point there I could actually take onboard.

2. Have an amused expression as though I'm trying hard not to laugh, at times just raise eyebrows as though to convey surprise. If she asks me to comment or asks what is say, "nothing" and carry on doing what I'm doing without a word. It is surprising how she back tracks when I'm so composed. From being the best mum in the world - for giving her 6 month old kids an entire packet of milkbikis - she would change the tune to we weren't that educated and had no clue what we were doing; poor us.

3. If it isn't I admit it. If it is, again I give an amused smile and say, "this is how we like it." Or "perhaps next time you could make it."

Then let it go so it doesn't affect you any further.

 

Comparing kids is a different matter altogether. I would snap immediately and firmly say, "how old fashioned. I'm glad my dd is healthy and active. There is nothing wrong with her. If you can't find anything nice to say, I don't want you to say it in front of me or her. Now, do you have anything good to say about my child?"

 

1. Not right away but i do compare her with other MILs and that not too directly.
eg. I bring up the things in other where she lacks. My MIL is highly dependent. I praise my SIL
s MIL a lot whenever i talk to my SIL, that how we do not even know she is around and how she keeps her self occupied
eg. when i talk to her i talk about a gal whome she praised saying how her MIL wakes up int he morning at 5am packs her lunch. ANd i give that in complaint tone as if what that gal is making her MIL do is not right when she is so young and makign MIL work that way - that way my MIL knows gal she was praising has faults too and my MIL is not doing things other MILs do. And call em shrewd - but i can be only few places....but what i say might not be even right, i just make up stories.

eg. priaise a MIL or MOM who participates in activites and outgoing and modern in real sense...when my MIl and I r talkign casually and i end my sentense with "evrybody is different, some like just house hold stuff and some are outgoing" so it does not give her a chance to say anything that person who participates does not do any work or something.


SO my MIL gets my message this way. She has stopped comparing.