Why Remove The Thali / Mangal sutra While Going To Work?

Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work??

Very interesting topic. I am surprised that it is happening in India too! I wear mine always.. i have made one with karukumani too .. so dont have to wear gold always.. but these days so many fancy options ar e there. maybe lighter chains ??

 

Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work??

Dear all,
There can be no right or wrong, if you are comfortable removing thali it is fine. If you are uneasy please do not.Customs keep changing with time. Once i posed something similar question to my Guru, he said "our attires have changed, even the way we perceive things have changed.You inside shd feel right abt what you are doing."
I have seen women with big bindi, always in saree but never bothered abt the husband(which is your dharma when married) nor MIL nor family. There are women in jeans who dedicates their life for the family. It is difficult to brand " no thali woman "is not good. Also when robbery and theft are rampant we got to take precautions. One of friends got hurt badly while she went for her morning walk with the thali on. What can we say?
Personally i wouldn't remove because i belong to the older generation.Also my thali chain is not very heavy. But again Thali is reminder that we are married and reminder of our duties to the husband, to the family.
Jaya

 

Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work??

Jaya
Thank you for writing such a good reply/comment.. appreciate it!

 

Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work??

Dear Sunkan jii..

Really a very good Question.... I always wonder about this..... What is there in wearing a thali...in modern out fit.. ??
At the time of my marriage My thaali chain was abt 11 savaran... I was wearing that for few mnths...Since it was too heavy i replaced it by a thin chain .. i feel comforatable with all outfits.... Gilrs can go for some slighter chains...Why removing that..?????

Even many of DH friends wives dont wear this when we meet at parties... they sometime come in sarees at that time too they dont wear it..... they come out with trendy chains....

Its all up to thier personal attitude I think....

Love
Brindha..

 

Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work??

It is a personal choice. People who are comfortable in their own shoes and confident that they can make the transition with the modern or traditional do so. Other people who feel comfortable in their modern avatar ( never wear thali) or traditional avatar ( will rathar die than caught dead without it) stick with thier choices. I think younger couples are closer in minds, interests, professions and do not put traditons,rituals ,gothram, or family status as a yardstick to their intimacy and strength of the marriage. Here are other reasons for not wearing the thali
1) Too heavy. Need to wear lighter chains
2) Wearing the lighter chain causes them to snap at their link .
3) Women are more active and Thali gets uncomfortable ( some poke at their chests) others are a lure for chain snatchers.
4) Moms with infants do not want thier young one pulling their thali.
5) It really looks odd to mix Thali, bindi and western clothes. Okay if you wear kurthas and jeans, salwars or sarees.
6) Women should be free to choose what they want to wear and not dictated by social pressures.

 

Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work??

Dear Ladies,

Its a nice topic to discuss and at the sametime we need to think about it too. This Thali and Bindi starts after marriage, though we all keep bindi before marriage too(which was mandatory in our house) , the other thing what I was wondering about was now a days whenever I call India my Parents or my Inlaws talk about some relatives son or daughters engagement in the absence of either the boy or the girl (most situations it is BOY) and they say they did the engagement with a Boys picture(Photo). Why are we doing this type of celebrations when the actual person involved is not present. Is it just show off or are we trying to preserve or culture in anyway?????

Shree.

 

Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work??

Dear Sunkan,

If we read about how the cultures evolved, we find that at some point of time, people broke tradition, for various reasons. Initially, this is always met with disdain but slowly it is accepted; in the process, the culture could have lost some significant aspect (say, the actual reason for having a ritual was for medicinal purpose but it was not clear and people just gave up doing it). But that is life - Change is inherent in everything including 'Belief'. It is the same case with 'thali' - some women just dont see any significance in it and dont wear it. Infact, the very fact that they are forced to wear it all the time makes some women rebel. Also, these days, women pay a lot of attention to how they groom themselves - and feel that certain things dont gel with certain type of dressing. I seriously doubt if they are not wearing thali thinking that they dont want to show themselves as married!

As for me, I feel it is purely a personal choice. Left to myself, I dont want to hurt my mother, mil but personally even I dont attach a lot of significance to it. I am not saying it because it is fashionable or anything but that is the way I feel, for whatever reason. Would have been different if my husband believed in it but he does not, so we are on the same wavelength and are comfortable the way we are. Finally, one has to be comfortable and also ensure that there is no dissent in the family because of such decisions.

Cheers,

Sumathy

 

Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work??

yeah sunkan mam.. as you said no one needs to feel bad for removing thali.. If they feel comfortable they can go ahead.. but then there are people who hurt them by quoting that as a big mistake.. they just have to ignore those people and go ahead and do what their heart says...

 

Re: Why Remove The Thali While Going To Work??

I wear . Some dont. Its own choice. Cannot make rule for everyone. Only because if there are rigid rules and many superstitions, young girls will want to rebel. Tell about our culture and give choice. People can live according to what they think is ok for their life.